To ask a parent to move their buggy from a café so I can sit down?

[TheUmberFawn]

Went to a busy café at lunchtime. One table was occupied by a mum with a large pram taking up the space of two chairs. There were no other free tables, so I asked politely if she could move it so I could sit. She gave me a dirty look and mumbled something about needing space. I get that babies come with stuff but why should that mean no one else can sit? AIBU for asking?

I assume you’re the one doing the joining mostly which would explain why this seems to happen more often in your life than other people’s. I’d argue that makes you the socially awkward one as perhaps you can’t read social cues.

It’s not a public space. That would be something like a park bench. It’s a privately owned cafe that customers are paying to use. HTH

It’s not hard - if all the tables in a cafe are occupied, either get your coffee to take out or go somewhere else. Would you walk into a restaurant and demand to be seated on someone else’s table if they said they were fully booked?

Which is presumably why this mother is using a pram so what’s your point?

Yeah! But where are the prams if your at a tiny table for 2?
Most of which have about 40cm gap between them

Exactly!!!! Agree with you 100%. Interestingly, I noticed that when it was dd and her dad (while I went off to do the grocery shopping) he and her were regarded with absolutely no contempt, or unreasonable expectations or unreasonable demands! No one treated him as if he had no right to be in a cafe with a baby in a pram. He was never expected to make room for anyone. He has never ever experienced any issues that I as a female parent had experienced. Dad and baby: oh how wonderful 💖💖💖💖 Mum and baby 😡 entitled bitch with her baby!

Explaining to you that that it’s not just prams for transporting children and this means things are different when using a sling.

This - the baby didn’t actually need the seat, so it was free.

There was no mention of a spare chair. She spoke of 'where the chair WOULD be'

There was already a pram and a seat, or a seat and a highchair using the table.
A seat can be empty and the table would still be at capacity.
Would you seriously sit at a 2 person table with a baby and an adult already sitting at the table?
What about a person using the table in a wheelchair? Their chair is empty…?

The baby didn’t need the actual chair but it did need the space at the table. Whether that was in the pram or a high chair.

But why would you suggest mothers should use slings to go to a cafe when you’re literally stating you can’t even eat or drink properly while using a sling?

It’s also a huge safety issue, I would not be happy with someone drinking a hot drink or using sharp cutlery within grabbing distance of my baby while squeezed up on the table I’m already using.

Then the people with prams can chose another cafe that allows the space for their large prams/pushchairs. Perhaps an outside space that can give more space than inside depending on the type of pavement or pedestrian area.

Regardless of the pram issue, it's really not ok to go sit at someone's table in a cafe.

I’m not telling others what to do - unlike yourself. I’m explaining my own experience. I managed just fine in cafes and restaurants with a sling - amazingly I drank water and could eat sandwiches, salads, anything cold. There’s a lot of choice and even more so now with cold coffee, iced teas etc

You clearly don't live in Scotland!
You opt for a 4 person table adults on 2 sides buggies on the other 2.

And this mother chose to use a pram. Your version isn’t better. You’re going on a very strange spiral here.
She had one buggy, there was space for it, the end.

Why should mother’s be made to feel like they have to use a sling and not drink hot drinks or eat hot food while out for lunch in a cafe?? It’s mental.

But it's not a restaurant, it's just a cafe, totally causal setting. Have you never been somewhere like Starbucks? And your assumptions are all wrong, if I had a coffee I'd just get it takeaway but if I was already sitting at a table, it really wouldn't bother me if someone sat there - unless they were talking on their phone or listening to it without headphones, that would be annoying in which case I'd just leave after finishing my drink. But no, my world wouldn't crumble.

Mental - goodness. You speak about yourself. You can’t cope with discussion lol but no problem

You’re literally telling women they should go out to eat and be forced to only eat and drink cold things while they hold their baby so someone else can sit at their table when the baby could just go in a pram or highchair!

You were totally unreasonable, and rude to boot!

Do quote where I say this. That’s right you can’t and that’s because I explain my OWN experience. You tell people what to do lol too funny how you can’t move on but have to think you’re right. Luckily it’s a public forum and people can read back the posts.

@Sofiewoo totally with you.

Add to that she thinks Mums should be outside with their salad 🥗 and their iced tea.

Wouldn't it be nice to live somewhere that has the weather to facilitate that without consulting the weatherman every hour.

Yes of course I go to Starbucks and similar all the time. They are still not public spaces. Restaurants aren’t that different when you think about it. Ultimately they are all venues with tables and chairs where customers go and pay for food and drink. Lots of eating pubs and chain restaurants are pretty casual too - find your own seat, order at the bar etc.

Out of interest, would you expect to join a table with a couple or small group if there was a spare seat? Or is it just solo customers that are a target? Because you mention the phone thing being annoying but presumably a couple talking to each other would generate the same amount of noise / chatter?

Your experience is entirely irrelevant to this situation.

I would never have my child in a sling when eating or drinking. Surely no one is that stupid. It’s an accident waiting to happen.

But you are arguing against your own point now. We are back to the pram being necessary.

I think most mums know we have more than one option for transporting babies. We don’t need mumsplaining to.

I just don’t fancy having baby in a sling while out and about, carrying the nappy bag on my back, having shopping in my hands, and then trying to navigate a busy cafe, or anything while juggling bags and a baby. Luckily I don’t have to because I have a pram.