To ask a parent to move their buggy from a café so I can sit down?

[TheUmberFawn]

Went to a busy café at lunchtime. One table was occupied by a mum with a large pram taking up the space of two chairs. There were no other free tables, so I asked politely if she could move it so I could sit. She gave me a dirty look and mumbled something about needing space. I get that babies come with stuff but why should that mean no one else can sit? AIBU for asking?

neither would I @farmlife2 my child’s need for nutrition trumps my feelings - I’ve fed in so many weird and wonderful places as I was efb so didn’t have any other choice! what I said was I wouldn’t like it if a random person came up and asked could they sit beside me!

just press the alternative button and your vote will be changed

Ok she didn't sit down but started a thread to moan that the Mum refused to give up her baby's space at the table.

Still not sure where the Op (or you) think the baby or the buggy were meant to actually go.

OP didn’t say she thought she deserved it. She asked if she was unreasonable for just asking if she could. At which point a normal response would’ve just been a polite no, rather than giving someone a dirty look. The woman was unpleasant in response to a perfectly normal question.

Not sure why there's so many people asking for clarification on this - of course it's not unreasonable. Just because you have a baby and it might put you out a bit to move your pram to one side, doesn't mean you shouldn't.

As for those saying the OP should have found somewhere else to go - are you kidding?! Having a small child doesn't mean you get to take up space that is needed by other people when you don't need it.

Just like those people who put their bags on train seats, that's not what they're for.

The point is there wasn't a spare space at the table. It was a two person table.

One mum & one baby = Two people.

Of course she thinks she deserved it, she posted a rant on mumsnet asking if it was unreasonable because the mum “seemed put out by the request”.

The “look” was probably confusion at the request considering it was obvious the space was already being used by the baby!

If two people both with their individual prams and a baby in the pram, that doesn’t sit in a chair yet, go to a cafe what size table should they sit at?

Where would the baby go if the pram was moved for OP though? The baby seemed to be in it considering OP suggested the baby could go in a highchair, which doesn’t free up any space as the highchair would be in the space the OP wanted anyway.
The space was needed and it was being used, it’s nothing like putting your bag on a seat. A baby isn’t like an item 🤦‍♀️

the chid was not taking up a seat though.

If a cafe is full you could go elsewhere or get a takeaway - it is rude to disturb someone who is already settled. Op says she asked politely but it may not have seemed polite to the other person - if they say it is inconvenient op should accept that.

It’s not. I have never, and would never do this and if somebody did this to me, I would be so uncomfortable that I would probably get up and leave. I’d love to say I would tell them they can’t sit but I am too polite/awkward.

How do you manage in other shared spaces?

It’s vitriol, not vitreol. I’m not sure if you are trying to incorrectly correct my spelling or not.

I think ‘vitriol’ (meaning bitter criticism) is an accurate description of your post.

The child was using the space at the table though.

So true about all the baby paraphernalia out esp if bottle feeding/weaning. The mum should have given said baby a loud tablet too. 😉

If you mean 2 mums & 2 baby's than a 4 person table.
Highly unlikely that a 3 or 2 would have enough space for 2 person and 2 buggy.

This is up there with people who don't get that children are people who count towards venues capacity regardless of what size the person is.
Especially for weddings people forget if a venue holds a 100 people that's what it holds.
Tiny babies count as one. And so does huge 25 stone man count as one.
We don't count half's or huge people as two everybody counts as two.

Oh, a 1000 apologies for the spelling mistake. No, I am not trying to correct your spelling
And you can interpret 'vitriol' in any way you like - my post still remains a comment. Obviously those that think it is 'anti-mothers with prams taking over a public space' vitriol are those who don't see how some behavious impact other's lives

Just when you think people can't get more entitled along cones another munsbet post to prove you wrong.

You were rude and entitled @TheUmberFawn.

She didn't have to allow you to share her table.

The pushchair is irrelevant.

I don't have a child in a pram or pushchair anymore and I would have told you to find your own table.

Get a clue.

I'm in Australia, so it's possible the norms are different in UK. But in my experience sharing a 2 person cafe table with a stranger would be as odd and unusual as asking someone in a parked car if you could sit in their passenger seat for a bit because you were tired.

The behaviour of getting to a cafe table and using it first…?
How unreasonable and selfish!
Bloody pram pushers!

And that's were we are back to would you say the same to someone in a wheelchair? Your not using the cafes seat so can I have it?

The child needed the space. Either for their buggy or high chair (which then adds where do you put the buggy).
If your thinking baby could sit on Mum. Thrn NO baby & hot coffee should not be held together.

No, I was still 'discussing' my post where I outlined what had happened recently in a coffee shop.
Not talking about the OP where the woman was already there

Oh wow, that is some extrapolation you arrived at!

You mustn't get out much then. I've often had to sit at a table with someone else if none are available and have also had people join mine..not ideal, but it happens. And MN is the place where people are so socially awkward they can't even open the door or make a phone call to someone they know so it's not the best place to get a feel for what is 'normal', I'm not surprised people on here wouldn't be able to cope in that situation 😑 she's not joining you, she's just sitting at the same table ... in you know a public place 🤨