Things in life you never thought you would recover and move on from, but you did…

[Ggll]

Mine… a termination in my early thirties at five weeks. Absolutely devastated me. It genuinely felt like the world had switched its lights off and nothing would feel ok again. And to some extent it didn’t feel the same again, I was different, but I was still ok. I laughed again and was happy.

Later in life my child’s father left me while o was pregnant due to a breakdown. It was truly a horrendous time. He now sees our DD and things are very different again but at the time I did not see how I could put one foot in front of the other.

I think these things are really powerful to remember when hard times arrive.

Coming home and finding my fiancé in bed with a woman.
Absolutely broke me at the time, I was 27.
I bumped into him 2 years later, he was out with the girl he ended up marrying, not the one who he cheated with.
I thought I was okay that I was over him.
I wasn't, I found a job in a different part of the country and moved.
Still here nearly 30 years later.

He did contact me about 8 years ago, to ask how I was. I didn't answer and haven't heard from him since.

Not being able to have children.

The stress of being with a narcissist and being trapped in the ME with my baby. Eventually getting out and coming back with no money. That was traumatic but absolutely shaped my self determination.

Diagnosis of an incurable, progressive eye disease.

Being told when I was 13, that the person I thought was my dad, wasn't my biological dad.

The deaths of my father and my sister within a year of each other. Both young. That was ten years ago and I'm ok now. I think!

currently going through this. Really hope I recover from it. Sorry to hear that you went through it aswell xx

Losing people to death.. feels like the bottom of the world has fallen out but then it gets better.

My first real heartbreak. I was in my mid 20s. We were living together and had been together since I was 17. I walked through the door one evening and, completely out of the blue, he told me it was over.

When my Dad died. It was 3 months from diagnosis of cancer until death, but he was incredibly ill and in hospital for most of that time.

When my DS, who was 2 at the time, was blue lighted in to hospital because he had DKA'd from undiagnosed T1 diabetes. Time pretty much stood still until he'd been stabilised and we were told he was going to survive. He's now 6 and thriving.

when my uncle tried to take me to court for elderly abuse, accused me of stealing from my grandfather.

what actually happens was I was a live in career for both my grandparents (unpaid). My grandfather gave me some money to help me out with a building issue with my flat that I rented out while cared for them.

Following a full investigation I was found innocent. But it was 8 months of hell.

My father having a heart attack when I was ten years old. He was fifty-two years old. I'm now seventy nine years old.

I had just started at a grammar school, which was twenty miles away from my home. I was called out of an art class and told to go to the Head Teacher's office. She was propping up the mantelpiece in her office and had a large glass of sherry in her hand. She said, " You'd better go home. Your father's dropped dead, and your mother wants you at home."

I walked two miles to the bus stop, waited an hour for the bus, and then sat on it for another hour. I got home. Mother told me to go and change and to go out on my pony. Whilst I was doing that, I heard the undertakers bumping my father's coffin downstairs. I went for a long ride and came back. He was never spoken about ever again.
I have inherited his clever mind, a degree of courage (he was a Tail-end Charlie in Lancaster bombers in WW2) and a determination to carry on when things get difficult.
I think of him whenever I see aircraft contrails in the sky.

Having our home repossessed the day we came out of hospital with our second baby.

Took a long time to rebuild my marriage and finances after that.

We are now much more financially sercure and hoping to buy again in the next couple of years. Just a couple of old bits to drop off our credit file.

My ex leaving when I was pregnant (DS is 13 now and a wonderful kid, his dad is semi in the picture but he has an amazing step dad he considers his real dad) it nearly destroyed me at the time
though.

The man who raped me as a child found out where I was living again when I was 20 and I had a complete breakdown. I never thought I would feel safe again. It took a year of psychotherapy as an outpatient but 20 years on and I have a good life. I still have PTSD but I’m happy and at peace now which I never thought I would achieve at the time.

@Astrak what a harrowing experience for you, but what beautiful words. My beloved mum died last June, 6 weeks after a brain tumour diagnosis, out of the blue and a huge shock for us all. I didn't think I'd ever get over it, I honestly don't think I ever will in lots of ways, and I'm 50. We cared for her at home, it was brutal, confusing, distressing, but also full of love. She was feisty and full of love, a brilliant mum, wife, nanna and friend.
Like you, I think I inherited her indomitable spirit, her determination to just crack on, and her belief that everything will be okay, just maybe in a different way to the way I expected.

The end of a relationship broke me but I came out of it happier than ever. Moved into my dream
house and feel much more content in life.

I have CPTSD from narcissistic abuse by my mother. I honestly thought I’d never get to the end of it. 6 long years of working through and I feel better than I ever have before and I’ve manage to let go of so much.

I was never the problem.

I can think of a number of things that I wouldn't dream of sharing, even on an anonymous forum.
But the point is, humans are tough. We might think we won't cope with something but, when it happens, we do. We just have to get on with it. What worries me is that the importance of resilience seems to be declining.....

My first serious relationship. I was a teenager when we met and we were together for over 13 years. I ended up marrying him and then leaving him only a couple of years later as he was dishonest and often unkind and unable to stop drinking and abusing drugs heavily to the detriment of his physical and mental health. In addition our partnership felt really one sided with me doing the majority of the emotional and physical labour. When we split up I really struggled to get over how much of my life I had wasted trying to make things work with someone who was so clearly wrong for me, and a few years after things had ended I had the clarity of mind to realise that he had sexually assaulted me on several occasions during our relationship. I then had to process the trauma from that after thinking I was over the whole thing. I still get upset about all those wasted years occasionally, but if things hadn't happened the way they did I wouldn't have gone on to meet the father of my baby, and I wouldn't have achieved all this very painful but necessary personal growth.

My brother sexually abusing me. I've often wondered what the other version of me would be like.

My entire childhood.

My abusive marriage.

I'm going to write a book one day.

The struggles of cassandra syndrome. It broke me beyond belief and changed me so much.
I'm much better a few years on, but still struggle with cptsd and don't think I ever want to risk a close relationship with anybody else.

Post natal depression was tough and I feared I would be someone altered for ever but thankfully i recovered fully.

Seeing the police take my dc away knowing the crime they committed would mean we never had a relationship after that day...
Moving on and nurturing the family I still have has helped...
Boxed away that trauma. Nobody tells you how to deal with THAT..
Appreciating the relationship with the rest of my kids keeps me going.

That is so incredibly sad ,to be treated so horrifically at the worst time in your young life .
I sincerely hope that you have had a happy life since then.

Finding out my ex was a paedo who had been abusing my child.

Not finding out if my grandma was alone or not when she died in the middle of the night in hospital.