Things in life you never thought you would recover and move on from, but you did…

[Ggll]

Mine… a termination in my early thirties at five weeks. Absolutely devastated me. It genuinely felt like the world had switched its lights off and nothing would feel ok again. And to some extent it didn’t feel the same again, I was different, but I was still ok. I laughed again and was happy.

Later in life my child’s father left me while o was pregnant due to a breakdown. It was truly a horrendous time. He now sees our DD and things are very different again but at the time I did not see how I could put one foot in front of the other.

I think these things are really powerful to remember when hard times arrive.

life... all of it.

It’s how they live often undetected. Their stealth is no reflection on your judge of character.

Myself and DH were over the moon to find out we were pregnant, to add to the excitement I was expecting at the same time as close friends - one which I shared a due date with.

Unfortunately I lost the pregnancy (twins) whilst my friend’s pregnancies were fortunately healthy. I was still having complications months after my miscarriage. It was really bittersweet and heartbreaking watching others lives continue whilst mine stopped. I had to miss out on baby showers and baby shopping which is something I dreamed of doing with my pregnant friends.

I never thought I would recover, but I have a beautiful DS and we all meet up with our DC’s and life feels perfect, I wish I could of told myself everything would of been okay in the end 3 years ago

An abortion of a planned pregnancy because of anxiety I didn’t realise I was mentally ill but I was

Completely out of the blue suicide of a close relative.
Never will I get over it. Never.
All my life will I ever recover.
The emotional pain was overwhelming as a young teenager.
Its over 30 years on and I still cannot talk about it. It brings me physical pain.

How the world continued to turn and people continued to live I will never know.

Post natal depression following a traumatic pregnancy and birth, I thought I was dying.

I lost three pregnancies in the space of 10 months. I don’t think I really had enough time between each to process what was happening, and it got overwhelming and I felt numb, like I’d been hollowed out. I nearly died too during the third loss so that was an extra thing to process.

Therapy, friends, my husband all pulled me through. But, at one point, I thought it had broken me — it hadn’t though, I came out the other side stronger and more empathetic.

the death of my mother when I was 7. She died suddenly at home, in front of us. I can still see her lying there. My dad’s ongoing rejection of me thereafter. Finding out at age 47 that he wasn’t my biological father which is probably why he was unkind to me. There’s lots of other things, but those are the worst. I survived though and have achieved a lot. From the outside nobody would know what I carry around inside of me. I’m blessed with a lovely husband, two amazing kids and a great job, but there’s still a little girl inside who feels utterly worthless and still does not understand why her dad hates her.

My dad dying suddenly. It was the first time I had experienced such sudden grief of a close relative. I honestly thought my heart would never heal. It has though and it’s changed a lot of my outlook on life.

Oh, I forgot the year before my ex H trying to kill me,my lovely mum died 64, she was in the hospital where I was nursing. Cock up by her GP,who also worked there (GP unit) I wanted to kill him. My colleagues were useless, I told them where to stick their job. I went back to office work,met second DH, got married,had a baby.

I was really lucky in life until i wasn't. The last five years have absolutely pummelled me. I had a high risk pregnancy and my baby needed surgery before and after birth, my grandfather died, my mother died, my chap was diagnosed with severe autism, my dad had cancer, sister in law died leaving behind small children. I'm still standing though and far stronger than I was before.

Giving CPR to a person of suicide. It fucked me up for a long time, she was 'gone' but did as I was told on the call. I still hear the call handler counting in my dreams.

It changed my fight or flight to always fight. Since then I've always been the first to help and have successfully helped many people in different situations until further help can arrive, I can confidently say I've saved at least 3 lives since that day.

So much.
A month ago I could have written so much.
But now, at 6 months pregnant, I’d say it would be finding my beloved Mum dead at home 3 weeks ago.
My Mum, she won’t meet my baby girl, I don’t think I’ll ever get over the loss of what she was to me.

My father, in old age, deciding never to speak to me or my brother again. None of us understands why. It's much worse than a physical death.

There was a murder not far from where I stay, the father murdered the mother with a hammer and the son who was in the year below me in school returned from work. The Dad said your mother is lying in the bed room dead. When he called 911 they tried to get him to do CPR on her he actually had to say "you are asking me to do CPR on my dead mother?"

I mean, I get why they usually insist on it but if someone has had their head caved in with a hammer maybe they should think again?

Becoming an unmarried mother, before "single parent" was socially acceptable.

My father died a month ago. I gave him CPR but he didn’t survive and died shortly after in hospital.

i don’t know how I’m ever going to be ok with the fact that he died and the fact that I couldn’t save him.

Losing my 4 year old son to streptococcal toxic shock syndrome. Something I didn’t even know existed and something that still nearly 3 years on I can’t get my head around why myself or the hospital couldn’t save my child. I am blessed to have my other 5 children but deep down they are the only reason I am still here in this world

My daughter being diagnosed with a rare genetic condition when she was born. I'd had a normal, low risk pregnancy and thought everything was fine. Also the 7 hour surgery she had at 2 weeks old.

My husband leaving me for a woman who brought a visceral reaction in me that was so strong, I actively avoided her. She worked within my family at the time and my mum felt the same. When I found out about their affair it was horrific and she was an absolute psychopath. It was 11 years ago and the whole experience changed me as a person. I never thought I’d recover. Yet I did.

Stumbled through a highly traumatic and painful childhood, bottled everything up until I met ‘James’ aged 28 and felt genuine happiness for the first time in my life and like I was seen and understood. He was unfaithful after six months and left. I was devastated and broken. Took years of therapy to resolve the childhood issues. Married 25 years with two beautiful children but I’ve never felt a happiness like those few months. It wasn’t him, it was just me letting someone in. I’ve never trusted anyone like that again.

I was sexually abused by my brother when I was a child. That led to some not great decisions as a teen/young adult. I made the mistake of telling my violent boyfriend about the abuse I’d suffered as a child. The violence increased and he repeatedly told me I should have stopped my brother so it was my own fault. Eventually got away from him but it took me another 20 years and a fuck load of therapy before I told anyone else. I wonder what my life would have been like if things had been different.

My heart just broke for 10 year old you

I’m so happy to read that you’ve made him proud

This makes me want to cry

Me too. 20 years of marriage and added to that is an affair as well as walking out on me twice. Still in the process of separating. I don’t have the energy for another relationship and nor do I want to be with anyone ever again. So much trauma.

The death of my mum very unexpectedly whilst she was still relatively young. One day, months afterwards, I was driving home after work on a lovely spring day and suddenly realised I felt happy.

Seeing my poor body post breast cancer treatment and having to accept that this is how it is now. I have one boob and a very lumpy scar and my hair didn't grow back fully after chemo. Reconstruction is unfortunately not an option. My lovely DH has helped to make me feel better about myself and somehow manages to make me feel beautiful.