Page 2 | Things in life you never thought you would recover and move on from, but you did…

Ggll · 2025-04-06T11:34:11+00:00

Mine… a termination in my early thirties at five weeks. Absolutely devastated me. It genuinely felt like the world had switched its lights off and nothing would feel ok again. And to some extent it didn’t feel the same again, I was different, but I was still ok. I laughed again and was happy. Later in life my child’s father left me while o was pregnant due to a breakdown. It was truly a horrendous time. He now sees our DD and things are very different again but at the time I did not see how I could put one foot in front of the other. I think these things are really powerful to remember when hard times arrive.

060425nc · 06/04/2025 14:02

What an inspiring thread …

I had a horrendous time in my 30s. I made an (admittedly bad) mistake at work. I was ‘allowed’ to resign but really it was more like a dismissal. A week later my dad died suddenly.

The next two years were awful; working ad hoc through an agency (nothing like my previously successful career) and I injured myself badly too, but had to keep working as obviously no sick pay. I did manage to get another job but it was still nothing like life previously and I hated it, hated life, became very overweight, withdrawn and depressed. Finally got a new job, fresh start at the start of 2020 only to lose it four weeks later. I honestly felt sick. Got a maternity cover which was awful and I remember once going into work on the train and cried and cried.

Then I met someone at the start of lockdown … somehow five years on I have a new job, and have been there four years, two lovely children and a lovely home.

I still can’t believe it.

I still miss my dad, though.

GreenCandleWax · 06/04/2025 14:10

Being totally rejected by all my family - two brothers and their wives and children. My nieces and nephews are grown up now but were told the same story that I did something terrible (completely untrue), so I don't know them. I was never allowed to see family or say anything to defend myself or speak the truth as despite every attempt by me, every single avenue of communication was shut down, and twenty years on they still don't know that I am innocent of what they think I did. There is so much hurt - rejection, betrayal by brothers who knew they could trust me never to have done what they accused me of, no family left, its terrible. I developed throat problems, which in mind/body terms represented not being able to speak or communicate to tell them. Completely cut off. After counselling and many years of work on myself, plus the support of my wonderful DP now DH, I have come to terms with it somehow, but to be falsely accused and ostracised is a terrible cruelty.

Ella31 · 06/04/2025 14:57

The death of my baby twin sons 17 months ago at Christmas. My beautiful first little boy was born sleeping and twin brother survived the birth but died in my arms 4 days later in the NICU. Its only been 17 months but my DH and I have overcome so much since that awful week. We only have their grave now and the few memories of their little lives. We are expecting again and the grief and fear alongside this is horrific but we put one foot ahead of the other each day so we will get through this.

Nannyfannybanny · 06/04/2025 15:08

Ella31, oh my dear, bless you! Harrowing stories, but we came out the other side. Me, severe on depression in the 70s,ignored then,being seriously ill, ignored by GP. Emergency abdominal surgery
Got pregnant at 18,1969, you got married. Didn't live together then. He was a cruel, psychopath, controller,sociopath, and gay! Three vehicle entrapments, not one my fault. 2 fires. H lost his business contracts, pretending to go to work,insured me for a large sum tried to kill me! Did a runner after emptying the bank account. Going to court, having the house re possession, being treated like scum.boss telling me the day after my husband was arrested, not to come back to their fine upstanding family firm, they didn't want the embarrassment
Being made homeless several times because of him.

Original poster

Ggll · 06/04/2025 15:30

Gosh so many have had to cope with so much. 💐it makes my OP seem very insignificant. Wishing good things to come to everyone.

OP posts:

nessiesnotreal · 06/04/2025 15:45

Ella31 · 06/04/2025 14:57

The death of my baby twin sons 17 months ago at Christmas. My beautiful first little boy was born sleeping and twin brother survived the birth but died in my arms 4 days later in the NICU. Its only been 17 months but my DH and I have overcome so much since that awful week. We only have their grave now and the few memories of their little lives. We are expecting again and the grief and fear alongside this is horrific but we put one foot ahead of the other each day so we will get through this.

Edited

I am so deeply sorry for your losses. Its awful and brutal.💔

I can relate to you unfortunately. I lost my first born child, my only son, as I developed severe pre-eclampsia with my first pregnancy and was in ICU. He was born prematurely and was alive at birth but died in my arms an hour later.

When I think back to that traumatic time I honestly don't know how I survived it. But somehow I did. But he is forever in my heart and my first born beautiful boy is never forgotten. He made me a Mum for the first time.

Once given the all clear with my health I fell pregnant again and the second pregnancy was very much full of anxiety and fear that I would be so poorly again and it would all happen again. It really was a truly painful time so I feel for you so much. I know how hard it is to not be fearful and to stay positive. Fortunately my second pregnancy was heavily monitored and went without a hitch and I had a lovely healthy baby girl. And another beautiful girl 4 years later. So please stay positive. I am proof that there is a happy ending to be had❤

As you say, put one foot in front of the other, take each day as it comes and I wish you all the luck in the World with this pregnancy and for a much happier outcome this time. x

LoudPlumDog · 06/04/2025 15:47

My daughter aged 21 years passed away suddenly 5 months ago today in fact! At the time I never would have thought I would get this far past that horrible horrible day.

ClemmyTine · 06/04/2025 15:48

Astrak · 06/04/2025 13:11

My father having a heart attack when I was ten years old. He was fifty-two years old. I'm now seventy nine years old.

I had just started at a grammar school, which was twenty miles away from my home. I was called out of an art class and told to go to the Head Teacher's office. She was propping up the mantelpiece in her office and had a large glass of sherry in her hand. She said, " You'd better go home. Your father's dropped dead, and your mother wants you at home."

I walked two miles to the bus stop, waited an hour for the bus, and then sat on it for another hour. I got home. Mother told me to go and change and to go out on my pony. Whilst I was doing that, I heard the undertakers bumping my father's coffin downstairs. I went for a long ride and came back. He was never spoken about ever again.
I have inherited his clever mind, a degree of courage (he was a Tail-end Charlie in Lancaster bombers in WW2) and a determination to carry on when things get difficult.
I think of him whenever I see aircraft contrails in the sky.

That' sounds awful.
He would be proud of you.

Ohyoudodoyou · 06/04/2025 15:49

Astrak · 06/04/2025 13:11

My father having a heart attack when I was ten years old. He was fifty-two years old. I'm now seventy nine years old.

I had just started at a grammar school, which was twenty miles away from my home. I was called out of an art class and told to go to the Head Teacher's office. She was propping up the mantelpiece in her office and had a large glass of sherry in her hand. She said, " You'd better go home. Your father's dropped dead, and your mother wants you at home."

I walked two miles to the bus stop, waited an hour for the bus, and then sat on it for another hour. I got home. Mother told me to go and change and to go out on my pony. Whilst I was doing that, I heard the undertakers bumping my father's coffin downstairs. I went for a long ride and came back. He was never spoken about ever again.
I have inherited his clever mind, a degree of courage (he was a Tail-end Charlie in Lancaster bombers in WW2) and a determination to carry on when things get difficult.
I think of him whenever I see aircraft contrails in the sky.

That’s such a poignant account of loss, it resonates as I had a somewhat similar experience. Your dad sounds incredible, that breed of men were something else (as were the women left at home) he’d have been proud of you I hope you think that. I hope you went on to have a good life.

PearTreeBoat · 06/04/2025 16:05

Walking down the stairs one morning and asking my abusive and narcissistic partner to please move out of my way, when he wouldn’t I decided just to walk down past him to realise he wasn’t stood on the stairs.

it was a townhouse with living spaces on 1st floor so ran back upstairs only to realise the only way out of the house was past him. I literally closed my eyes and ran.

it’s been almost 8 years now and I can’t believe how much my life has changed in that time. Things are a million miles from that bleak dark fog of the first few months after that day.

ScrewtopRose · 06/04/2025 16:08

Death of sibling

Notthisagainyouidiot · 06/04/2025 16:18

I finally got rid of my abusive partner of too many years last year. After the initial elation of getting him out of my house and life wore off I felt too damaged mentally and emotionally to ever consider another relationship. It wasn't like other break ups where I have been sad and upset, I felt traumatised. I never thought I would end up in that sort of relationship and judged myself harshly. For ending up with an abuser, for staying and pussy footing round their temper and having no idea how to escape.
I have just started dating (slowly and carefully) someone new. So far, so good. It's a revelation to be treated well.

DaffodilAlliance · 06/04/2025 16:21

Out of the blue the suicide of my teenage child, 5 years ago.

Not something I will ever understand or get over.

I think about my child every day and wish that things were different. I will do this until the day that I die.

My life is divided into two parts; before and after.

If you met me, you wouldn’t think anything was wrong. I still get out of bed every day. I work, I see friends, I can smile and laugh.

On the inside it’s a very different story.

GreenCandleWax · 06/04/2025 16:35

DaffodilAlliance · 06/04/2025 16:21

Out of the blue the suicide of my teenage child, 5 years ago.

Not something I will ever understand or get over.

I think about my child every day and wish that things were different. I will do this until the day that I die.

My life is divided into two parts; before and after.

If you met me, you wouldn’t think anything was wrong. I still get out of bed every day. I work, I see friends, I can smile and laugh.

On the inside it’s a very different story.

❤

Sunshinedayscomeon · 06/04/2025 16:54

DaffodilAlliance · 06/04/2025 16:21

Out of the blue the suicide of my teenage child, 5 years ago.

Not something I will ever understand or get over.

I think about my child every day and wish that things were different. I will do this until the day that I die.

My life is divided into two parts; before and after.

If you met me, you wouldn’t think anything was wrong. I still get out of bed every day. I work, I see friends, I can smile and laugh.

On the inside it’s a very different story.

So sorry. Our teenager has had 2 suicide attempts in the last year, I'm so sorry. Xx

Hedjwitch · 06/04/2025 17:00

My mother's death. But here I am, almost one year on.

Yorkshirelass04 · 06/04/2025 17:20

Being taken advantage of by a man in power. It haunts me every day.

yukonparkthatthere · 06/04/2025 17:59

Suns1nE · 06/04/2025 13:58

Finding out my ex was a paedo who had been abusing my child.

I don’t think I would ever get over that

Yorkshirelass04 · 06/04/2025 18:05

yukonparkthatthere · 06/04/2025 17:59

I don’t think I would ever get over that

Show quote history

Agree that is gutting.

One of my exes went to prison for sleeping with underage girls. Not the same but makes you wonder how you had such a bad judge of character.

Finallylostit · 06/04/2025 18:15

Death of my mother and father
Finding out my husband was having an affair with a family friend
Surviving the continued abuse from EX and OW which was dictating my life and my DCS
Being ghosted by my 2 best friends - still don't know why 20 yrs later
Being diagnosed with a lifelong illness as a toddler and only now really understanding how it has shaped my life and still does

You never truly get over deaths but the rest at some point I decided to rise like a phoenix from the ashes and live my best life - not the life they were trying to push me towards.
Taking back control was hard but so necessary

ChipshopPickledEgg · 06/04/2025 18:17

The relentless bullying I experienced at school approximately 25 years ago.
I see the bullies now and I feel sorry for them.
I never judge anybody usually but my god I judge them, often grandma's now (were in our late 30s) with dirty prams giving their children Greggs dummies not a days work in their lives and looking old and dirty.

Barney16 · 06/04/2025 18:20

Death of a sibling. My life has never been the same. it tilted on it's axis and all my certainty was swept away. I have a lovely life filled with people I love and I am thankful for all of it but although I am at peace with it I am quite a different person than I was.

Bushmillsbabe · 06/04/2025 18:21

thebear1 · 06/04/2025 13:46

Post natal depression was tough and I feared I would be someone altered for ever but thankfully i recovered fully.

Same for me. I feared I would never be the old me again, and that I would never be able to have another child.
And I wasn't the same me, I was braver, stronger, bolder, stopped sweating the small stuff. And we did have a 2nd child, without a doubt the bravest decision I ever made, to risk going through that hell again.

I'm glad you recovered fully x

JHound · 06/04/2025 18:22

I think I am blessed in that although many things in life have left me sad (realising that marriage and kids were not destined to be part of my life’s path is a major one) there is nothing thus far I have felt I would never recover from.

Fingers crossed as I do not want to tempt fate.

readingismycardio · 06/04/2025 18:25

Miscarriage and then postpartum with my baby.