Would you be upset if your child's teacher told the class her mum had died?

[MonBlu]

She left a couple of weeks ago because her mum was sick and there was a sub since. Now she's back and told the kids that her mum died. It seems very young for them to have to think about mums dying. They're Year 4 / 5.

What a horrible person you are. The teacher is a human. She has come back and given the children a factual account of where she has been, rather than lying to them or ignoring their questions about it. Do you think she wants to talk to a bunch of 9 year olds about a tragic and painful event? No, she's doing it because she feels she owes them some explanation. And here you are, when she's grieving, wanting to cause more trouble for her, because your need to cosset your precious child from the basic realities of the world is more important than everyone else. You need to have a think about your life choices.

No, it’s the healthy, sane response to acknowledge death.

Essential life learning for DC. I’d be more worried about people who lied and hid facts.

Yes, this
Death is part of life and children need to know about it and talk about it so that it's not a huge scary thing.
Last year in a primary school near here a teacher died. Should the school have hidden that from the children "in case they couldn't handle it"?

Still no sign of the op? This really is getting boring now @mumsnet

My daughter’s dad died unexpectedly when she was in year 4 and obviously her class were told about it before she came back to school. Children that age experience all sorts of things, you can’t protect them from hearing about every sad thing. It’s unreasonable to expect a teacher to lie to students if they ask why she’s been off.

No. Death is a part of life. Death happens. We can’t and shouldn’t prevent children from knowing about this. It should be more normalised to talk about it.

9 and 10 year olds aren’t too young but I’m surprised the teacher shared that. Not particularly worried though.

i understood death pretty much perfectly when my dgm died. I was 6.

When my DD was 10 she found her Dad dead.

‘Upset’ because your child’s teacher told them her mum had died? What’s wrong with you? Good grief.

Not at all. Sadly death is a part of live and children that age will understand that. Many will have already experienced it in their family and even if not they will know that people die
We can't protect children from every horrible thing. They need to be able to build up resilience

How strange that it might be considered inappropriate to mention death in front of kids. I remember when I was about 5 and my grandad died. He was in the coffin in my nans front room. I wandered in to see him there. My dad explained about how he wouldn't wake again

I was also at the funeral.

When DS was in Y5 his teacher had some time off because her mum died. The class were told why the teacher was off and it wasn't an issue.

My DGC was in year 1 when his baby cousin was still born. He was aware that auntie was having a baby but the baby had been born dead. Bit of curiousity more than anything else

A couple of weeks ago her mum was ill and she’s since died?
What’s more shocking is that this poor woman is already back teaching your child so soon after losing her mum. I hope you’ve enquired about how she’s doing? It’s a sad reflection on the school culture and the pressure teachers are under to not take time off. Teaching is an intense job that can’t be done half-heartedly. I can’t imagine how she is coping.

some children don't have the luxury of being protected from death, and they tend to be far more pragmatic about it than adults anyway

Of course its not inappropriate they are 9 and 10.

In my DS class there's a child who's mother has died and several DC who've lost a grandparent. The class know this. Death is a part of life, it is sad, but it happens and we cannot shield DC from that reality.

they're year 4/5 of course they should understand and be able to talk about death. By that age many children have lost parents / siblings / grandparents.

They are year 4/5 so 9-10 years old? No I don't think it's too young for them to hear about death and by that stage a lot of children have encountered death or a grandparent for example. I wonder if she didn't need to share it but maybe she wanted to explain why she was away.

Agree with all of this.

although I doubt the OP will bother to come back as the thread hasn’t gone the teacher-bashing way she hoped it would.

Good on her. Better to be honest and it introduces the idea of death with someone they don't have a direct connection with.

You should be thanking her.

They’re not to young at all, death exists and it is something that does need to be spoken about more from a younger age and just in general.

We've recently had a mum of one of our Y5 kids die. You can't hide it and pretend it never happened.

YABU no there’s nothing wrong with her saying. We need to be open, honest and truthful with children about death.

God alive.

No. She's done nothing wrong. Good on her for sharing and normalizing.

No not at all. At that age they could work out that the teacher is a grown-up so her mum is more like their grandparents' generation and sadly several of them would have lost a grandparent by age 8-10.