Would you be upset if your child's teacher told the class her mum had died?

[MonBlu]

She left a couple of weeks ago because her mum was sick and there was a sub since. Now she's back and told the kids that her mum died. It seems very young for them to have to think about mums dying. They're Year 4 / 5.

My friend's stepson was told in one of his first years in primary the truth about Santa, by the teacher

I wouldn't be upset at all. Death is a very natural and normal and expected part of life. Some kids will have experienced it and may feel less alone knowing it happens to everyone else too. Others might never have experienced death and will benefit from it being talked about in an everyday, routine way. I feel it's really lovely that the teacher was honest, and I wouldn't be surprised if some of the kids feel a great deal of empathy for her. People underestimate young children.

I'd be upset for the teacher not upset at her!
Children aren't stupid, we shouldn't hide reality from them.

No I wouldn't be upset. Ithink it's important to normalise death and talk about it in an age appropriate way.

We don't know why she's back. I didn't need 2 weeks off when my mum died, I needed to go to work. Colleagues have taken a month, that's also fine.

Please tell me you are joking. Why in the name of god would anyone be upset by this. In our school things like this would be in the school newsletter anyway and I do remember several parents dropping in sympathy cards for one particular teacher when her mum died.

No I wouldn't be upset.

Which has absolutely nothing to do with this situation …

Your choice to shelter your kids from the reality of life and death, well beyond the age most children have confronted this in real life, is a personal choice and does not dictate how the rest of the world behaves. By age 9/10/11 most children have lost a grandparent, family member or pet. Simply because yours has not, and you’ve chosen to keep them ignorant to the natural role death plays in life doesn’t mean they are too young or not at a natural age to be impacted by, or learn about, death.

Sheltering children from natural events and life challenges only sets them up to be emotionally and mentally unprepared for the world. THAT is the real
problem.

sincerely, a former youth counselor and trauma therapist

This is a very unusual attitude. Telling your class something about your personal life isn’t looking for emotional support. Presumably they asked why she was away and she didn’t lie to them, which seems like a pretty straight forward way to deal with the situation. How far do you take this secrecy? Should teachers also pretend that they are not pregnant when they go on maternity leave?

OP you are being totally unreasonable in my opinion.

Why on earth would you be upset?
No wonder we have a generation of namby pamby children who cannot cope with life.

Death is a part of life we all have to deal with at some
point. I lost my mother when my children were 4&6. She had cancer and I took the children to see her up until the day before she died despite the fact she didn’t look herself anymore.

They are 9 and 11 now (yr 4&6) and aren’t traumatised by it at all. I don’t shelter them from anything nor do I over molly coddle or parent them gently. They are both bright, well balanced and will be kids who will be taught to deal with everything life throws at them.

I can’t imagine them being remotely disturbed by the fact a teacher told them a parent had died, I would imagine they would be empathetic and then just carry on with their lives as they should.

I thought you meant 4 and 5 year olds at first. I am astounded you think they are too young to know people die.

3/4 year olds in preschool had to be told someone died last week, it's life. The person can't just disappear into thin air on them

At that age I had a classmate die.

How on earth can children that age have even minimal exposure to TV, books and the Internet and not know that people die (including parents; many children's stories feature orphans)? Even if they are fortunate enough not to have experienced a death in their own family,

I think you need to have some sympathy for the teacher first! Before you think of something to complain about. And no just not too young- they need to know about death, and this isn’t exactly a gory or traumatic way to be introduced, they didn’t know the person.

Well my DH died when my kids were in reception and Y2 so no I would not. Y4 and 5 is plenty old enough to know about death. I would have thought many would have lost a grandparent by then.

I can’t believe I’ve actually just read this! Any normal person’s first reaction would be sympathy and empathy for the poor teacher having lost her mother, not fucking complaining because she’s told children who are old enough to understand death!
This sort of bollocks is one of the main reasons why so many teachers are leaving.

Oh please grow up! You shouldn’t be upset how ridiculous is that! She is probably upset. This is not about your or your child, and if you had any decency you should probably have made your child write a condolence card!

Agree!

It's fine. My son's teacher's daughter died 18 months ago. The children all knew and have been heavily involved in raising money for a charity that helped him.

9/10 year olds know people die but I don’t see why a teacher would need to tell a class about her mother.
I was a teacher for 25 years, I doubt any of the hundreds of kids I taught knew ( or cared) whether I had parents, children, or a husband.

Teachers go off sick, or on courses, supply steps in, teacher returns. That’s all pretty much routine for children.

What the hell, of course it’s fine. The only person who should be upset is the poor teacher who has lost her mum.

((groan...)). Yet another thread finding something to moan about "the teacher". FFS...you don't get it, do you...your child is with someone for 6 hours a day. More hours than with you. That person becomes very important to them, as your child does to the teacher (do you find that worthy of a whinge?) Teachers and pupils share their lives with each other...I used to talk about my cats, and what they had been up to, or my own kids, and they would likewise share their joys and sorrows. Truly, I bet you don't know just how much your teacher knows about you simply because the kids just chatter away, without encouragement. Teachers will know that daddy has a new friend, or that mummy and daddy had a fight last night and mummy punched daddy, or that daddy shouted that he was going to leave, or mummy and daddy were making funny noises in the night. Also that Nana, or their special pet, or favourite uncle died, and that they are sad. When you sit down for your parent/teacher interview, you might be very surprised if you knew just what they know about you. It will of course, be forever confidential.

I agree.