My feminism has made me bitter

[Yourra]

At least I think it has. I’m late 30s and grew up in a very traditional home, my dad was in charge generally, mum stayed at home. It wasn’t until I was in my earlier thirties that I really woke up to the misogyny in the world.

My anger towards the patriarchy really took hold when I had my first dc. I was absolutely horrified by some things that went on at work, the way I had to fight with CMS when DD’s dad decided he didn’t want to be a parent anymore.

I am in a new relationship and I am happy but I now see very minor entitled behaviours in every man I come across, even those who would be considered ‘allies.’ My dad is a lovely man but I notice more how the dynamic with my mum was trenched in that patriarchal system.

Now my eyes are open I see it everywhere and honestly it makes me bitter. Not sure why I’m posting really, just wondered if anyone else felt this way.

You think women who enjoy their careers are anomalies?

You say you’ve only worked minimum wage jobs so it’s more like you decided since you couldn’t have a successful career then it follows that all other women don’t enjoy their careers.

You don’t have to expand bollocks

it just makes more bollocks

Oops 😳

My feminism did not make me bitter. If anything made me bitter it would be misogyny.

I couldn’t agree more. Especially since becoming a parent and in my thirties I can’t unsee the misogyny everywhere. I’m ashamed that I think in my teens and early twenties I actually had the same opinions as misogynists ! It’s so hard to now see any good in men. Especially being on mumsnet. When I think of my parents relationship and other married friends etc it seems society is still unfortunately built to give men power over women and for women to be pit against each other and even more unfortunately most women don’t even realise it!
I honestly am so pessimistic now that I literally can’t see the point of marriage in todays society- what does it actually offer a woman.
I agree it’s so sad to see the bad in everything but once you see it you can’t unsee it.

My aunt thought the same. She stopped Uni when she married and had kids, was a housewife her whole life and had the most perfect family and marriage.
When her husband was retiring she was so happy they would finally travel the world (he was CEO of a large company with lots of money but no time to travel abroad).
He left.
She filed for divorce after trying to reconcile but him leaving again. He "didn't grant her" the divorce and 5 years later still not finalised, so much of "his" money is in offshore accounts, she she doesn't know what she will end up with. And she can't get a job after being 30 years out of the workplace.
Hope this never happens to you.

Hahaha. You’ve clearly never been to my home. My natural state is a lazy slob but I’m driven by making money so I manage to motivate myself to pursue my career. My male partner does all the cooking and is tidier than me. You’re talking bollocks.

Doing housework won't change the inherent sexism in medicine, architecture, product design, etc. If anything, it will make it worse. 🤷