My feminism has made me bitter

[Yourra]

At least I think it has. I’m late 30s and grew up in a very traditional home, my dad was in charge generally, mum stayed at home. It wasn’t until I was in my earlier thirties that I really woke up to the misogyny in the world.

My anger towards the patriarchy really took hold when I had my first dc. I was absolutely horrified by some things that went on at work, the way I had to fight with CMS when DD’s dad decided he didn’t want to be a parent anymore.

I am in a new relationship and I am happy but I now see very minor entitled behaviours in every man I come across, even those who would be considered ‘allies.’ My dad is a lovely man but I notice more how the dynamic with my mum was trenched in that patriarchal system.

Now my eyes are open I see it everywhere and honestly it makes me bitter. Not sure why I’m posting really, just wondered if anyone else felt this way.

Nope. My DH is amazing and my male friends are great as well. Life would be very boring without them

I think we live in a new world of unprecedented choice. Just like men with the MGTOW movement, people have life options that didnt exists for previous generations. If on balance, you'd be happier without a man, do just that.

Social media seems to be overfilling with bitter feminists as much as misogynists. In my opinion people need to be careful not to overdo exposure to either. The majority of them are just polluting people's minds with the spreading of hate and division.

@LeticiaMorales I have read before I read the post, of course I did. It still doesn't jump out to me as being goody, so we'll just have to agree to disagree

I started feeling like this and realised it was doing me no good. I’m raising 4 lovely sons so don’t want that attitude. I still keep my standards high but just don’t get bogged down thinking about it all, men have been like this since we evolved so no changing it. Just try and live my own good life and accept the positives they do bring.

That is why I am single after my relationship broke down and I'll remain so. I have no time for men anymore, at all.

This is me. I really dislike men. It’s probably because my ex husband was a prolific cheat and then left me with a disabled child to bring up alone. Doesn’t see him, I had to fight for maintenance. You just think to yourself what an utter waste of space they all are.

I see my friends in relationships that they describe as happy when they’re anything but, take the brunt of all the housework, childcare while their husbands swan about doing fuck all. Not for me. I’m happier alone than I’ve ever been. I’m bringing my son up to be a lovely young man who is respectful of women. His older sister and I strive to be good role models for him. I certainly don’t want another relationship.

We will indeed 👍

Would you encourage people not to have too much exposure to anti racism?

I used to feel like this until I watched some war movies. There’s a whole bunch of young men wondering if conscription might make a comeback. There are other pressures that men face that they don’t talk about, which is why they suddenly top themselves without reaching out. It might help to read some experiences of women who transitioned to men, and the hostility and loneliness they encountered when the world was treating them as men.

I am retired now so can’t comment on the average workplace, but your experience everywhere else you mention is not mine at all. If anything, I find men generally move out of the way for me and are courteous (and it’s not because I am either ancient or a great beauty). And as an aside, I have noticed that it’s more often women than men who don’t thank me for letting them in to a line of traffic.

So called bitter feminists are reacting to the stranglehold of patriarchy.
Quite reasonably, I'd say, considering the many ways women are fucked over by men and their systems.
It isn't “spreading hate and division” to get angry about, and object to, being oppressed.
We used to say ”scratch a woman, find a rage”
Once you see it, you can't unsee it. I'm amazed that so many can't see it, or maybe don't want to.
(And yes, I am aware that some aspects of patriarchy aren't great for men, either. But on the whole, they are doing better than women)

Women can’t transition to men. It’s a literal impossibility.

And the ones who pass well enough to be genuinely
’treated as men’ are infinitesimally rare

Neither misogyny nor feminism has ever made a life happier.
Take everyone as you find them. Look for the good in people. And don’t sweat the small stuff.

Feminism made my life better, @Swiftie1878 because I realised how I was being treated and learned how to stand up for myself (and others) and be assertive and speak out.

I wish the title was “Misogyny had made me bitter”! But yes, once you see it you can’t unsee it. But why would you want to?

To use a term from a different strand of feminist discussion, @Yourra , you’ve peaked.

You have reached the summit, see all the ingrained male entitlements, the assumptions, the constraints placed on women and the shit-show that is misogyny and you can’t unsee it.

It hits us at different times of our lives - adolescence is one, motherhood another. Just wait until the ball of rage that is menopause gets to you - no wonder men call us witches and try to shut us up! Welcome to the fight! 😉

Sounds absolutely miserable to be honest. I don't consider myself a feminist and I am very happy.

My point was there is a fine line between forwarding woman's rights and just pure undiluted hatred of all men and boys. A lot of what I see on social media undoubtedly falls into the latter and is just as ugly as misogyny. All in all going too far down the rabbit hole into either misogyny or pure hatred of all men and boys just warps people's minds and ultimately their personality.

feminism means that rape in marriage is no longer legal but of course it’s never made anyone’s life happier 🙄

You don’t need feminism for that. Just some self respect. Women treat women badly too.

I bet you’re happy to take all the things those tedious feminists won for you though - or do you still have your DH/DF co sign applications for credit?

It's not your feminism that has made you bitter, it's the shit that has been constantly heaped upon you all your life by patriarchy and misogyny that has made you bitter. Your feminism has made you more aware of it but it's not the feminism that is the cause of the bitterness.

Not one person on here has ever referred to, or considered appropriate "undiluted hatred of men and boys". I've been politically active for many years, and have never come across this. Perhaps you have seen this online, I don't know.
What is being discussed here is feminism, which is all about women's rights. How people object to that, I don't know.

Feminism is about self respect.