This dad who’s always carrying his reception aged DD

[isithey]

It is really cute, however gives my DD ideas of being carried too and I just can’t !

there is quite a walk from the car park to the classroom at my DDs school and this one dad ALWAYS carries his DD the whole way there and the whole way back.

wherever my DD sees this, she wants to be carried too ! But she’s absolutely huge. She’s only 5 but already bigger than the average 6 year old. The little girl being carried is much, much smaller than my DD.

I can barely carry her anymore.

when do people generally stop carrying their kids ?

I occasionally carry my 3 year old, but not a lot. I enjoy it, I must admit. So I do get why this dad does it. Super cute.

how long did you carry your kid around ?

Cannot remember with my children but probably about3-4 . My granddaughter is 5 and tiny. Weighs about 16kgs. She is carried occasionally because she is quite anaemic secondary to a medical condition.

Honestly the toilet training thing is also a bit of hysteria as they also counted having semi regular accidents as "not being toilet trained". So it's not actually like a load of feckless parents just decided to send their kids to school last year in nappies. Maybe some other factors who knows.

All the kids in our reception class came in toilet trained and able to sit up 🙄. Feels a bit just like the latest moral panic!

But maybe this child does tons of activity every day, walking, biking etc and they just like their Dad carrying them in for five minutes?

I wasn’t aware this was a milestone so have no memory of when I stopped carrying my children. Definitely not younger than 4 though. I do know that I make zero judgement of other people around this and I simply don’t believe people on this thread insisting these children can’t do life admin as adults, play sport or are especially spoilt because their parents carrying them at 4.

Im much more concerned that there are seemingly functioning adults incapable of saying no to their children if something is allowed in other families. That’s a bit pathetic.

I think because we now have a societal issue with delayed children. We don’t have kids going up chimneys and working in factories any more, but we do have kids who can’t do anything for themselves and turn up at school unable to use cutlery or open their own lunchbox. We’ve gone too far the other way.

I don’t think this is it. Mainly because a lot of the stuff people focus on has to do with toddlers, the sort of “he’s not a baby anymore”. People seem to jump on anything they see as even slightly inappropriate and feel justified doing so. I need to lose weight but I feel people wouldn’t feel free to point that out, but for some reason that etiquette doesn’t apply to certain parenting choices.

I can’t shake the feeling that at least some of it is the commentators emotions around their own children getting older.

Issues of pure neglect or cba parenting are different of course.

My daughter couldn’t walk, we carried her most places.

Fuck, this thread is putting me on edge 😬 My toddler is...non-toddling. Will be 2 soon, and I carry him a heck of a lot because he physically can't walk by himself. I already feel exhausted and paranoid 🙈

Don’t be. Firstly he’s v young so unlikely anyone will comment. Secondly ask yourself if someone comments about your child why are they doing it? It’s about them, not about you.

I have 4dc and I think I struggled to carry them extended distances after the age of 2. I must have become even weaker in my old age as my 11 month old dgd (normal size and weight) was too much for me after a matter of minutes! She just didn't help me at all, she isn't walking or crawling, but I'm pretty sure my dc used to support some of their own weight!

Do what suits you.Do you always feel pressured to do what other parents do?
I can assure you that carrying children does not cause developmental or social issues for them. The ex teacher who says it does clearly has a very narrow perspective of child development based only on her own biased perception and has not read the copious research evidence.
If a child has illness, developmental or social issues they may benefit from the carry, if they don’t they may benefit from the cuddle. The carrying might cause back issues for the parent, in which case I would say “ no, carrying you might hurt my back”.
My daughter carried her brother everywhere, we would ask her to put him down but they did not care. Even when he was12 he might ask her for a carry. Grown man, not babyish, he has a lovely well balanced personality as does his sister.

My step son is 13 and still tries to get a piggy back ride from my husband.

In all seriousness, age is irrelevant. What other people do is irrelevant . You just need to explain to your daughter that she is too large to be carried by you and she needs to walk.

It's not really his problem that you cannot carry your child anymore. He maybe carrying her because he wants to, he is in a rush, its a long walk across a road, whatever the reason is honestly none of your business or anyone else's.
For reference like you I was also not able to carry my son from about 4-5 (I am short and weak 😀). My sons dad however still often carries him on his shoulders, because they both enjoy it. My son walks and rides his bike to school (25 minutes each way) up and down hills, so the odd shoulder ride from his dad is not babying him nor making him incapable of walking.

Just tell your child unfortunately they are too heavy, that's what I say to my son. Today he wanted to be lifted up to see a snake at the garden centre, I told him no chance! He got his grandad to do it, who immediately regretted it

Did you mean to say 18 year old? The post is about children.

When my daughter was in reception I was became very ill (due to problems during pregnancy) and my husband had to walk her to school (20 mins for a reasonably fit adult but longer for a slow-walking child going up and down a hill). I had been driving because I am disabled. He had to pick her up for parts of it as she was struggling. We now know she has dyspraxia and found it tiring because of how much harder it was to balance and made her ache. Not all children are the same and not all children have issues identified immediately. Do what is right for your child and just explain that different children have different needs. You don't need to say that the other child is too old to be picked up as they might have a reason.

I still have to carry my Ds3 he has some mobility issues but we are working with physio. To be honest I struggle carrying him but have no choice some times.

My reception aged child can walk about 5k and also runs junior park run, I still sometimes carry her the last two minutes of our walk to school so we can have a cuddle. I sometimes carry my year 5 daughter up to bed or from the car if she is sleepy, she can walk about 10 miles and run 5k.

How did you get your little one into park run? My DD is 5 in Reception and her running stamina is so poor!

My 4 yr old twins are ridiculously tall, one weighs 22kg and the other 25kg. When they sweetly ask me for a carry, I can't refuse. It's not too often. And I rarely have to do a double carry these days. They're not lazy. But it makes them happy, makes me happy, and gives me an excuse to stay strong. I started to use a weight bench a while back. I think its a joy to carry someone who has asked to be carried. Though lots of people probably cringe when they see me doing it. I would carry my husband if he'd let me haha. Though he's 6'3 lol. I guess we're all different.
When another kid gets an ice cream and mine can't have one, maybe because dinner is nearly ready, it does sting a bit. So I get what the OP is saying in that regard. But children will learn that boundaries and rules are always different between families, for many different reasons.

My children are so tall for their age. My 5 year old fell off the climbing frame today and I had to carry him back to the car. He is 125cm tall and 4 stone, it killed me 🤣🤣 I had to stop carrying him I would say around 3 possibly 4.

Never carried from 4 onwards, DH will still pick her up and carry her at 9, but she has known since 4 I won't.

I am a tiny weakling, I had huge kids (thanks DH) I also had a few close in age. It was either pushchair or walk!

There was a Mum who used a pushchair for her DD in reception the short distance from the road to the playground. I thought it odd but she didn’t want the battle which is fair enough. Her DD used to run around the playground and then use the pushchair 🤷🏽‍♀️

Yes, it followed a post where I said I carried each of them when they were 11. Sorry should have quoted it to make that clear.

Was thinking about emergency situations where you might need to carry them/lift them etc.

I picked my 80 something mum up and carried her across a stream on the beach once too.

Happens all the time. I see mums pushing their 5 year old kids along on the scooter, like the kid hasn’t got legs to do it themselves!

Firstly, learn to say “no” to your child. Your post hints at somebody who can’t set boundaries for their children without getting into a negotiation. This will only get worse, there will always be one child in the class who has more toys, freedoms, etc and you can enter into a debate with your child every single time. They need to learn now they get what you say they get.

Second, I always joked with my child how babyish it is to be carried / pushed along / put in a pushchair at that age. She had no desire for the same treatment after that.

FFS he's carrying his kid if you can't do it for yours just say no stop bad mouthing a man for being loving to his kid