This dad who’s always carrying his reception aged DD

[isithey]

It is really cute, however gives my DD ideas of being carried too and I just can’t !

there is quite a walk from the car park to the classroom at my DDs school and this one dad ALWAYS carries his DD the whole way there and the whole way back.

wherever my DD sees this, she wants to be carried too ! But she’s absolutely huge. She’s only 5 but already bigger than the average 6 year old. The little girl being carried is much, much smaller than my DD.

I can barely carry her anymore.

when do people generally stop carrying their kids ?

I occasionally carry my 3 year old, but not a lot. I enjoy it, I must admit. So I do get why this dad does it. Super cute.

how long did you carry your kid around ?

I don't 'know', which is why I said 'I suspect',

I agree, a lot of parents seem to get stuck in the toddler stage now and seem almost afraid of their kids being older children.

My 3 year old twins are 20kg. They definitely don't get carried and they walk the 0.7 miles to and from preschool. I'm surprised a 5 year old wants to be carried rather than walking independently and interacting with peers

Also see the ten year old kid whose mum always carries his bag still.

Quite how he will cope with High School in 15 months is quite the interesting prospect.

Why does it “worry you”?!

My 4 yo likes to be carried sometimes. It a sign of affection and at times necessary. Certainly not for anyone to worry about.

Oh yes.

Irony. That's what it is.

With parenting you will always get other parents who do things you cant/won't do. It's his choice to do this, he might regret it when she's bigger and doesn't want to walk. You don't have to justify yourself to your reception child. It's OK to say, they do this but I do that. The next things will be sweets before dinner, their friend has a tablet or sky TV etc. It's throughout their childhood that they will compare friends lives with their own. Just say each to their own and be strong!

For the record I think 5 year olds should walk from class to car. You might carry a toddler from nursery but I wouldn't be carrying a 5 year old around personally. But it's his choice really!

No, not at DD’s school anyway.

There seems to be an odd culture of vulnerability in DD’s year 1 class - the kids who are babied act up to it by acting all small/sad/vulnerable and crying a lot so the parent snuggles them and keeps asking if they’re okay.

It’s usually the girls, the boys are left to roam about more and seem more emotionally stable and a bit tougher.

My 3 year old still requests to be carried when he’s tired but he’s 20kg! I can carry him for a max of a minute. DH will carry him in his shoulders but my neck can’t take it (and I can’t lift him up without help). I’d love to carry him more tbh but it’s just too hard on me!

My dad used to carry me on his back or my brothers would carry me.
I was tiny for my age so got a piggy back a lot.
I loved it.

Being too accommodating with children when they’re young carries over to adulthood! My son - everything done for him for his entire school life. Breakfast made, packed lunch, clothes laid out on bed, lifts (to everything!), school bags and PE kits packed. His best friend - made his own breakfast from 7 years old, packed all his own stuff for school. Basically encouraged to quite independent from being young. Now, at early 20s, my son is so lazy, can be quite self entitled, still comes to me for some life admin tasks. Best friend very confident, lives in his own home, travels a lot, helps a lot with tasks for parents. I remember feeling sorry for his best friend, that he made his own breakfasts etc, but clearly his parents were spot on, and I’m reaping what I sowed!!

I sometimes carry my autistic 6yo dd. It's safer then her eloping into traffic or having a meltdown on the pavement and helps calm her if she's having a difficult day. I'm sure some people judge because I haven't told everyone I see on the school run about her needs so they might think I'm babying her.

This 🤣 by the time my eldest was 3.5 he had a 2 year old younger brother and a newborn sister 🤣

Ds1 is 3 but very tall for his age and in 5-6 clothes. I stopped carrying him around 2 as I was pregnant and ended up with a hernia probably from carrying him too much. Thankfully after that age he wasn’t interested in being carried. He’s still very affectionate and loves cuddles.

Also not all 5 year olds are the same. My daughter has terrible eczema & a ton of allergies is often utterly exhausted. She is far less physically resilient than her older brother was at her age.

My older child has a friend who is carried into school due to anxiety.

Why don’t people content themselves with focusing on their own kids?

I have also carried my dog on occasion, really can’t see an issue with it.

Carrying a bag for an older child is simply a sign of affection. It doesn’t mean that he will somehow be damaged or unable to carry a bag!

With my older 3 I stopped when they were about 3.

I think parents need to be mindful of the damage it can cause to their own backs as the children get bigger.

My 14 year old has a severe learning disability, and although I am no longer physically able to carry him, I have to lift him down from the mini bus that takes him to school.
I have really paid for it now though as I have injured my ribs.
It's such a huge step onto the mini bus and no other option as he doesn't have the balance or coordination to manage it himself.

I should've said that she has autism so I am more gentle towards her

Agree though, I should only carry her if she is distressed or for fun, not because she's refusing to walk!

I don't carry DS5 anymore unless he's actually sick, for example if he's ill and I've picked him up from school on foot. He's average weight for his age, but I'm quite small and not that strong.

My dp is a big tall man and was very fit. He carried out children as long as they wanted to be carried because they all enjoyed it- they loved being high up and going fast! I couldn’t/didn’t carry them except in an emergency past about 2.

I’m inclined to agree and it’s good you can look back and acknowledge this rather than being defensive, which I think a lot of parents are on here.

Carrying a 5 year old doesn’t mean ah yes of course they won’t become an independent adult.

Doing everything for a child their entire school life is an entirely different thing altogether. On that, I agree with the poster, it was a mistake. But no reason he can’t learn now.

I haven't been able to carry my son far from when he was 2 but his dad still carries him a lot at nearly 3. I just explain he is too big for mummy to carry him now. I don't think you should feel bad.
Do you have a partner around? Sounds like you might be feeling like your child is missing out but I don't think you should. It's just one of those things and honestly it's probably just makes that dad's life quicker and easier more than it been something the child really enjoys.

I'm still carrying around my 6 year old but only around the house when hes tired. He's tall but very slim so I can still manage him.

IMO … that dad is in a hurry and carrying child is faster than her walking.

I think you should remind your child that she walks like the other 99% of children, but then I don't think it's cute either.

However I used to give my DC's a piggy back sometimes as a treat before age 5 when they were too heavy for me to carry comfortably. None of them were ever carried in or out of the playground,

One of my DD's used to run out of the school door and I would catch her in a big swing, she loved it but walked out of the yard and home.