This dad who’s always carrying his reception aged DD

[isithey]

It is really cute, however gives my DD ideas of being carried too and I just can’t !

there is quite a walk from the car park to the classroom at my DDs school and this one dad ALWAYS carries his DD the whole way there and the whole way back.

wherever my DD sees this, she wants to be carried too ! But she’s absolutely huge. She’s only 5 but already bigger than the average 6 year old. The little girl being carried is much, much smaller than my DD.

I can barely carry her anymore.

when do people generally stop carrying their kids ?

I occasionally carry my 3 year old, but not a lot. I enjoy it, I must admit. So I do get why this dad does it. Super cute.

how long did you carry your kid around ?

I know 9 yo year 4s still being carried.

That's for fun and playing around surely?

I was still carrying my eldest when she was 7. She's got some mobility issues and often had pain in her joints/fatigue. I didn't carry my youngest at that age because I didn't need to. I'm sure other people judged me for it, but that's fine. Not my problem.

Some kids need the help, some kids don't. It's really not a big deal, or bad parenting, or smothering, or denying them independence. Nor will you still be carrying them at 18 if you carry them at 5.

Because children are being babied far longer than necessary.

It doesn't mean you don't love them not to carry them. It's not stopping you cuddling them but they really do need to slowly be introduced to independence.

Piggy backs are fun

I am with you on the walking but I never let my child carry his school bag at this age as he had to walk a mile to school and back and his bag was heavy. It can be really bad for their backs. Obviously, I would have let him carry it a short distance.

I couldn't carry any of mine age 5
Mostly as I have bad joints. 1 dc was tall at that age. My now 5yo is super tiny but I still couldn't. Dh would though if dc asked.

Our local school all dcs go to church 1 day a week from reception age. They all carry their pe bag , book bag water bottle there its just under a mile.. parents collect from there at end of the day. They walk past my house and they all manage just fine. Although some of the kids look as small as their bags lol

My DH would often have to carry our DD on his shoulders when she was at least six possibly seven too on school drop off (5-10 minute walk) but she has ASD and was very socially immature. She'd often get in her little brothers (sturdy) pushchair on the way home when he wanted to walk, at least into year 2. I bet a lot of people watching raised their eyebrows, but we did what we had to do 😃
Could there be any additional needs you are not aware of, with the other girl? Honestly I would just keep saying, no, you're too big. I bet a lot of the kids who scoot to our primary school started to to motivate them to go to school or because they hated walking, and then it becomes the norm for that child.
There is isn't a universal answer on what to do when, you do what works for the child you have (and you) and they develop as they will. 😀

I don’t remember as it was too long ago but I can remember feeling quite sad when they were too big and heavy for me to do it anymore.

I remember a few year’s back there were always pap photos of celebrities (women) carrying their huge child who was more than capable of walking and it seemed so odd, like it was a trend?

please go worry about something of actual consequence

and let people enjoy picking up their primary aged kids as they wish... it does stop when they go to secondary

I read of teachers complaining that some reception age children don’t have enough core strength to sit up on the carpet. It’s no wonder if they’re still being nursed like a six month old.

To be fair, we have no idea if this girl has any additional needs or if the dad is mitigating any impulsive behaviours.

But why does it “worry” you?

Celebs have to protect their children from the photographers. I really feel for the big stars (not the reality ones who would sell their kids souls for a trip to the clinic), imagine just wanting to take your kid on holiday and have some scumbag try and follow them with a camera just because your famous.

@Neemie
>> I never let my child carry his school bag at this
>> age as he had to walk a mile to school and
>> back and his bag was heavy. It can be really
>> bad for their backs. Obviously, I would have let
>> him carry it a short distance.

A normal sized boy/girl/child of 4-5 years should be able to cope with 2.5kg (2500g or 5.5 pounds) for a walk to or from school.

What could have a mass bigger than that. Little kids don't have text-books any more and iPads or small laptops are <1.1kg.

I tell my 7yo and 10yo grandkids to get on and off the bathroom scale without then with their school bags. Her maximum nett difference is 3kg (3000g) and his is 4kg (4000g). n.b. They are both excellent swimmers and do gymnastics twice a week per week. Carrying a schoolbag themselves is a resilience and self-reliance thing.

My son weighs 2.3 stone or 15kgs and is 4 years old. I carry him if required like when he is very tired after school, he is a summer born so one of the youngest in his year group. But only for short periods and keep encouraging him to walk. Though he is quite light compared to other kids his age. We walk nearly a mile to get home. My daughter is 8 years old and I cannot carry her. I stopped carrying her when I was pregnant with my son so around the age of 4.

Oh wow, my DD was really heavy, like waaay heavier than she looked. Family members were stooping down to pick her up then a shocked expression appeared on their face from about age 3. She wore older clothes too.

She became very tall but had a stretch and slimmed down then aged 5. I am pretty strong and fit but stopped carrying her around age 4. Her dad kept on for another year and still carries her to bed but will grumble if he has a running injury or something.

I feel a bit cheated though as I loved carrying her.

My DH carries our DD all over the place. It brings her great joy. She’s five but the size of a 6 year old. I never really carry her any more, I don’t want to break my back. It’s not a big deal just set boundaries.

I sometimes pick up my 14 year old just to prove I still can! He's light though. My 11 year old has just had an operation so he needs a lot of help at the moment but I can't carry him around anymore as he weighs nearly 50kg.

Honestly cannot envision myself giving a shit about how other people transport their small children. I don't think carrying a five year old briefly into their reception class is going to give them or any other child issues. Also really none of anyone's business unless you were a trained professional and this child was having big physical issues from being carried everywhere.
You can't really make judgements about 10 mins out of a day and it's kind of strange to care so much about what other parents do.

It's like people who are weirdly sanctimonious about turfing their child out of the pushchair at two. Fine, do it if its works for your family but it's not morally superior.

Mine were both big for their age and I’m tiny so would only carry them if they couldn’t walk any further. It happened often enough for our dr to drive past us at the shops and shout out of the window “Stop carrying those dc, you’ll hurt your back!” These days they carry me instead, fair is fair. 🤣

I imagine the least likely reason is impressing the school gate mums with his strength and virility.

This is the crux of it for me.

I’ll admit I’m fascinated with why people are so obsessed with when other people stop using cots, pushchairs etc.

We are talking about a man carrying a 5 year old a few yards to a car.

Already on this thread we’ve had comparison with a child who had everything done for him throughout his entire school years, and mention of children having core issues so badly that they can’t sit up.

Carrying a 5 year a short distance or carrying a bag does not mean that the child is destined not to become an independent adult.

Some of the issues seen since Covid around toilet training etc are to do with social issues and neglect. Not what is being described here.

My youngest is 4 and heavy. He is autistic and when he is really anxious/scared he clings to me to be picked up. I'm trying to reduce it because he is getting too big but sometimes it's the only way to prevent a meltdown. My older 2 probably stopped being picked up by me at about 2, their dad would put them on his shoulders until quite a bit older than this but that was for fun rather than a need.