This dad who’s always carrying his reception aged DD

[isithey]

It is really cute, however gives my DD ideas of being carried too and I just can’t !

there is quite a walk from the car park to the classroom at my DDs school and this one dad ALWAYS carries his DD the whole way there and the whole way back.

wherever my DD sees this, she wants to be carried too ! But she’s absolutely huge. She’s only 5 but already bigger than the average 6 year old. The little girl being carried is much, much smaller than my DD.

I can barely carry her anymore.

when do people generally stop carrying their kids ?

I occasionally carry my 3 year old, but not a lot. I enjoy it, I must admit. So I do get why this dad does it. Super cute.

how long did you carry your kid around ?

My three year old grandson is going through a stage where he walks a little bit then wants carrying. He is more than capable of walking the short distances we walk and had been doing so for a year with no problems. He is teeny, but I am too weak to carry him.

He has now learnt the art of just sitting down wherever he is when he doesn't get to be carried. Fun age!

I don't remember carrying mine much over the age of 2, but it was a while ago.

What I also take into account is that I understand its always nice to walk and look around when you are so little and everyone is so much taller then you, you cant see as much around as from the adult height.
Plus I realize that carrying a child is not always about their legs or them being tired. Its also about connection and physical contact.
Sometimes stopping for a little bit and giving them a cuddle does the trick.

I’m a tiny person. I stopped carrying mine at around 18 months each because I just couldn’t do it any longer (they weren’t big babies either, one was premature).

They adjusted very quickly to it and have not asked to be carried in years because they know I can’t.

They do ask DH though, as he can and is fine with it, and they also ask grandparents. All of whom will say yes, struggle and stop after a minute causing great upset to the child and an annoyed grandparent.

Agree with this sentiment. I can’t physically carry DD 4½ right now, but DH can, and he often takes her to school on his shoulders, it’s their thing. She’s perfectly capable of walking and does when I do the school run.

What if we all stopped doing things that bring us joy just because someone else doesn’t or can’t or won’t?

We’ve heard all about other families’ amazing Easter holiday plans recently. DD asked when we’re going on holiday too, but we can’t this year. Should they not go because we’re not able to and DD’s ‘getting ideas’? Or because we’re ‘perfectly capable’ of going a year without?

Of course not, that would be silly.

A simple “Yes, that does look like a fun way to walk into school! Shall we skip/hop/whoosh in instead?” could do the trick, no need to turn it into a parenting competition.

I don't find it cute either. Average fitness levels in children are poor - as parents we should be doing all we can to build activity into their lives. My 4yo reception child walks a mile to school every day, and before that that walked about half a mile to nursery from the age of 3.

(We do give him piggy backs upstairs to bed at night though!)

I’m smaller and my kids are pretty tall for their ages, I’ll occasionally pick up DD5 for a cuddle if she’s hurt or when she jumps on me from being excited. DS3 I’ll pick up sometimes, but if they want carried they go to their dad it’s his biological duty to carry them since I did it for 9 months. Weirdly, I remember being carried home after falling asleep at the pub by my dad or brother till I was about 7… but I was very small and scrawny… probably because of all the nights living off scampi fries at the pub.

Who cares really - I carried my daughter's school bag for her until about yr6, then she did it and now carries all her stuff on a 30 min walk to secondary school. She didn't not have the ability because I had done a nice thing for her for a few years 🤷🏼‍♀️ My friend was so strict on not carrying stuff with her kids and tbh it mostly seemed to just incite crying and arguments on the school run - why do that to yourself?

Couldn't imagine giving a shit about someone else carrying their own kid - I pick my 8yr old up if she needs it sometimes!

Yes. That’s exactly what I wrote. I gave three potential reasons and the third one I stated to be the “The least likely…” 🙄

But it's s a pretty big leap from 'Dad carrying his kid down the school path' to 'pandering to her every whim.' We have no idea what's going on in their lives. Maybe the school run is only time they get to spend together. Maybe she gets overwhelmed with the huge surge of kids at the school gate. Maybe they both just really enjoy it.

I definitely don't agree with pandering to children, but there's absolutely no harm in injecting a little happiness into the day to day drudgery.

I’m sure the dad probably carries her for his own convenience, I.e. probably doesn’t have much patience for slow toddler walking and the sense of awe at every crack in the pavement, bug, leaf, flower, etc.

It’s not cool really.

I remember one of the kids in my dc class. Small for his age and his mum carried him about in her arms (not piggy back or in shoulders) I felt it was weird tbh but couldn't put my finger on why

What is "cute", or, worse still, "super cute" about it? What an odd thing to say.

But they’re only going to / coming from the car?
Not much scope for dawdling about admiring the wonders of nature in a school car park.

I could carry my son up to the age of 7.
he was premature

my daughter I couldn’t pick up after the age of 4.

Yes absolutely, I guess in my experience though parents who carry and baby their 5/6 year olds don’t stop with just the carrying though. I know kids of that age who are still regular buggy users and eat Ella’s kitchen pouches etc. It’s like their parents are desperate for them to stay tiny forever.

Obviously I don’t know the set up at this particular school or the car park, lots of schools don’t have a parent car park, and so parents have to park on nearby residential streets.

Haven’t come across this. How many 5/6 year olds do you know who eat pouches and use a buggy regularly? Again, it’s another jump from a guy carrying a 5 year old a few yards.

What I have come across a lot is people who seem to be dying for other people’s children to grow up. Very very invested in it - he’s “too old” for X, Y, Z.

I find it interesting that for you its weird to carry a 6yo in your arms but its ok to have a yo on your shoulders.

I had to stop carrying Ds regularly when pregnant with Dd so age 2ish. DH could carry them both ( together) until ages 6 &8 I think. He would carry Dd at the end of a long day until she was 10 ( she was tall).

It's a 10 second thought if I see it.

So I hardly waste any mental space

Don't tell me you don't notice things from time to time that you think are nuts, or weird or wrong or whatever

You're making into a bigger deal than ever I do

Actually it's reminded me that when I worked there was a father who carried his 5 year old son all the way home (in his arms, not on his shoulders). The kid was a total baby at school - did very little for himself, cried a lot at normal expectations and expected the world to revolve around him

So that's a reason I think it's a daft thing to do unless the child is exhausted

Because it's normally babies and toddlers that are carried like that as they are unable to walk!/are tired. Sitting on shoulders is a "fun" carry and adults often sit on shoulders at gigs.

Tbh I’m very sick of reading people constantly judging parents for whatever the topic de jour is - breastfeeding, cots, buggies, carrying whatever

I don’t care if my colleague carries his 5 year old, or how a small child behaves in school what does it have to do with me?!

Yes, I make judgements about things are “wrong” or “weird” but I don’t think carrying a 5 year old is either. I wouldn’t carry a 5 year old a long distance myself but if someone else chooses to do it, not my business.

There's no difference at all.

I would not have, and didn’t. However, you know nothing about this family or any health conditions the dd may have, so best not judge.

I do still carry my 5 year old after school bc she has autism and is often very tired and overstimulated after a long day, but only to the road usually and then we walk. There have been times she's been falling to sleep and I've had to carry her a bit further though that's usually to avoid a meltdown in the street. Luckily we don't live far