This dad who’s always carrying his reception aged DD

[isithey]

It is really cute, however gives my DD ideas of being carried too and I just can’t !

there is quite a walk from the car park to the classroom at my DDs school and this one dad ALWAYS carries his DD the whole way there and the whole way back.

wherever my DD sees this, she wants to be carried too ! But she’s absolutely huge. She’s only 5 but already bigger than the average 6 year old. The little girl being carried is much, much smaller than my DD.

I can barely carry her anymore.

when do people generally stop carrying their kids ?

I occasionally carry my 3 year old, but not a lot. I enjoy it, I must admit. So I do get why this dad does it. Super cute.

how long did you carry your kid around ?

May have mobility issues you know nothing about

Oh I just seen all the judgypants squawking about 'babying' a 5 year old. FGS. A five year old has only just stopped being a baby and cuddling and carrying your kids is normal affectionate thing to do and providing physical reassurance actually helps your kid become emotionally mature and responsible - and is not 'babying'.

It didn’t have any effect on my life!

And no, I didn’t find that.

Funnily enough. No.

Yes, there would lots of ‘what’s it got to do with you’ ‘Is that all you’ve got to worry you OP?’ ‘That’s right, let’s put another mum down!’ I’m hardly in here nowadays…the double standards are ridiculous!

Then why are you complaining about parents carrying a child an extra year or so? Either it has an effect on you personally or it doesn’t.

If it is still happening when the child is in the their 40s maybe odd but why on earth does it matter? Imagine if a man felt like they should comment on an aspect t of how a mother drops their child off at nursery?

It is surprising how far little ones can walk. I remember grumping at my husband for forgetting the backpack carrier to get my then 2 year old back from the beach up a steep and quite long cliff path. Spent half the day worrying about getting him back to the car. He walked all the way with absolutely not problems.

How would you know ?
I didnt stand in the playground discusding my own childs disabillities i dont know anyone that would.

My DH has set a terrible precedent for carrying out twins upstairs to bed. They are both 7 now and getting really stroppy when he won’t do it or one goes before the other (he can’t carry them at the same time together anymore!). I let him know a couple of years ago and he was making a rod for his own back and any tantrums for him refusing were up to him to deal with and I certainly wouldn’t be carrying them up to bed to placate them! He accepted this and is trying to phase it out! They generally stopped being carried when they were 4/5 (they are small kids).

I still carry my six year old sometimes. If I’m honest, it’s my main motivation for going to the gym - I love that I can still carry both my children, I enjoy the extra snuggles, so I weightlift at the gym in the hope they never outgrow me 😅

No, I didn’t find that (having followed the progress of such children through subsequent years).

A demanding and attention-seeking child in a class, with unrealistic expectations, has an effect on the lives of all the other children too!

It really is not necessary to carry a healthy child around to give them emotional security.

I have a similar situation at my DD's school. There are three Dads who like to use the school run to lift their kids as it substitutes weights. Except one of the kids who's huge and frankly I don't understand how her dad manages it, all of them are tiny little things who seem to support their own wight. DD is the size of a 6 yo and likes to be a dead weight at the end of school - I literally can't do it.

@isithey sound spoke he does it as she may walk slow and it’s a long enough way you say.
If you can pick her up for half then why not ?
Ive never thought of it as an age thing just more if the situation needs the help .

I find the judgement around how little kids move from A to B really odd. “Good reasons” why I might have carried my older kid at 4/5 include her being very tired, us being in a massive rush, or me picking her up and pretending to put her in the bin because she was being a pain. Good reasons that my now 4 year old is still in a pram or gets carried a lot includes all of the above and that she’s disabled, and the pram is easier to maneuver than her wheelchair.

My older kid is now 6 and often makes her own breakfast, will go on proper hikes, clears up after herself and is a proper independent and fully mobile kid. I’ll still give her a piggy back occasionally if she really wants it because our family values are about helping each other out, not about ruthless independence regardless of the situation.

Also, no one complains about kids going in cars for short distances. It’s just prams and carrying that winds people up. Bizarre.

Yes Im sure the education of all the other children was severely disrupted because little Jenny was a bit foot-stompy. Poor children.

My son is autistic and it was the only my way to simultaneously reassure him and restrain him - I carried him around in public
until he was 5 but wouldn’t have shamed him on the playground with such babyish behaviour.

I used to pick DS2 up at school collection until he was 6ish. He’d had a long day and was shattered. He was always a tall child and occasionally another parent would comment (snotty fuckers). He is now 6ft3 and perfectly capable of carrying himself and his own bags.

I would love to be more easily able to carry my son - he is 18 months old and coming up on 20kg (healthy and proportioned, just MASSIVE) and when he’s not in the mood for walking it kills my arms. We use a preschool size baby carrier and I’m praying he’ll continue to not mind babywearing until he’s consistently happy walking distances 🫣

Some people just like carrying, I know with my friends school-age children it’s sometimes a case of just wanting to get places with minimal faff, especially with neurodivergent children.

Raising a child to independence is a fairly long process though and involved give and take and sometimes offering them reassurance before that are doing something independent is good for their emotional needs.

DS struggled to settle always at school and being carried up the road on my shoulders gave him confidence to go in. And he was a big 5 year old (who at 12 could lift me now).

my role as a parent is to make sure there is a safe space for them at home to come home too

Even as adults I suspect we still have comforts at home that are parents offer.

If you’re perfectly happy to be rearing a foot-stompy child, crack on.

I tried not to lift or carry them if I could. I carried them for nine months, let DH have a go! That said, a sling was useful and nice for them when they were little, but after they were about nine or ten months they were too heavy for that. And wriggly. They were 8lb/9lbs 2 oz at birth and DD2 was 99th centile for height - don't remember for weight, but obviously being so long it made her heavier as well.

DH bought a backpack for them so we could go on walks, so they were each in that until they were three or so, but it affected my balance too much and the backpack was huge and designed for a man's back, so DH did all that.

Er... Because he lives in my community and people know each other etc etc.

How exactly do you know I don't know?!

You're assuming here that you must be right and there must be a problem rather than being open to the possibility that his parents are just not dealing with their child and sling him in the push chair because it's easier than parenting.

There are parents who, sadly, are like that. Increasingly so.

What is it the default to automatically go 'oh they must be disabled' rather go 'yep feckless parents'?!

God to be that bloody sheltered from the world.

I don't think carrying a 5 year old is cute or very helpful.
I don’t think the OP thinks it’s cute either- she’s just trying to hide the fact that she’s judging him 😁

The irony...