Wanting to look good and be a 10/10 girl? Men specifically?

[ThisChic]

People always criticise others for caring about their looks, but let's face it, we all appreciate beauty and strive to look our best.

I feel as though most women can be seen as '10/10' if they have good hygiene and skin/make up, i.e the whitened teeth, hair extensions, glowy fake tan, slim and big breasts.

I feel like I have a few obvious flaws; small boobs is the main one, but also teeth and hair that could be 'glowed up'.

I see that 95% of the women on TikTok on Instagram with 100 - 500k followers are just slim, tanned women with big boobs. All different facial features, but heavily made up, thin and big boobs.

Am I being unreasonable to want to make myself look hotter by fixing my flaws?

I would make any decision for surgery for myself anyway, but I just wonder what peoples' thoughts are!

I don't have different usernames. I came on here fishing for opinions because I feel insecure and fed up. I can't afford implants until next year.

Money, at the moment....But next year should be fine.

@ThisChic I would get some therapy first - you have put so much into the fact that all your issues are the size of your boobs which is frankly unlikely to be true and I suspect the issue is how you feel about yourself. Maybe getting boobs will fix it but like a lot of people who start that the end result tends not to be the fix they think it is going to be because the actual real issues are still there

Real relationships need to be based on far more than boob size and looks because trust me as you age you don’t look the same as you did when you met 20 years ago and you need something more something deeper to survive and part of that is loving yourself as well as the other person.

try and fix your inside first before you fix the outside

@Doubledenim305 And think about the you tubers and influencers who are stunning.

'Stunning'. They are considered stunning by the men who follow them, which is why I also want that look to look beautiful. Not all of the drag queen make up though.

It’s a women’s forum? (Clue is in the name… “mumsnet’). Why would you expect men’s opinions?

I know that, but they're still looking at those women and thinking of that as their physical ideal, and if they could get a long term girlfriend who looked like that, assuming she was nice to be around, that's what they'd want. I also assume - maybe, hopefully wrongly - that the vast majority of men prefer this look.

Most men I know, including acquaintances, who were into sexualised body types were sleeping around. They rarely spoke highly of these women and didn't see them as long term prospects.

Horrible, I know.

Most of them have grown up and settled down with pretty, girl next door types.

OP, you are @em2001ily in this thread. Same issue, same obsession with big boobs. Same wanting men's opinions.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/sex/5259993-i-hate-my-small-breasts-because-i-know-men-dont-like-them?reply=141822408

You are a first time poster under @ThisChic

Really? Are you sure he wasn't just telling you he didn't like large breasts to make you feel good about yourself? I've always worried that men who've said this to me in the past were just telling a white lie...

we all appreciate beauty and strive to look our best

I don't think we do, beauty is very subjective. I certainly don't strive to look my best.

Your real problem is how you feel about yourself. Not your boobs

If you change how you feel about yourself, then you may not need to have surgery. And you would instead be able to use that money to go and have fun.

If you cannot afford implants right now, then you might consider instead some sort of therapy in order to explore why you feel that you must have bigger boobs in order to be attractive to any man who is worth attracting. A "B" cup is certainly not flat-chested, either! And you have the advantage that they are much less likely to get saggy when you get older And finally - if you feel unattractive now there is absolutely no guarantee you will start to feel attractive after getting implants. Then you would have undergone surgery for nothing.

After such exploration, if you still really feel that the implants are your best otion, then get them, I guess. But while deciding, do remember, while the risk of dying from having this surgery the first time around is very low, by getting implants you are signing up to have repeat surgery several more times in your life unless you die very young. Each repeat surgery brings its own risks of complications or side effects from anaesthesia, and the risks probably get higher as you get older

Also, every required repeat surgery carries increased risk of disfigurement or loss of physical sensitivity, as well as increased risks from the anaesthesia. Also there have been reports of cases where someone has an implant that ruptures and it causes irreversible, serious health problems. Here is one example https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4n5kgyw6wjo

I don't know why, it's just want millions of men seem to find attractive. The fact that hundreds of thousands of them follow this type of look suggests that....It's just literally any slim woman with large/huge breasts. 🙄

They don't really look like that though. Did you see I'm a celeb this year with mara and grace. They just looked like normal girls in the jungle. Couldnt believe it when I saw them all done up like the influencers. It's smoke and mirrors my love. Don't be naive and fall for it.

Im not the poster you replied to but it’s very odd that you’re so fixated on your belief that your understanding of men’s preferences is more accurate than the lived experience of hundreds of posters on here. Do you often struggle with inflexible thought?

Men follow all sorts of women on social media and as someone upthread said it’s meaningless, some men have sex with exhaust pipes, I know someone who did it with a melon. If a man is going to depersonalize someone enough that all they’re fussed about is a pair of tits, they’d probably sleep with anything.

Is your self esteem so low that you will settle for this?

Erm wtf? My post got deleted when this whole thread of full of pervy incel comments from some creep.

No, I don't see other attributes "outweighing my lack of boobs" as a good thing, I want him to think all of me is sexy 😅That's precisely what I don't want.

I'm not saying that my perception of what men find attractive is more accurate than anyone on here. I don't think I have said that...

I know someone who did it with a melon
Oh god....

Oh 100%. I know they're all fake but (many) men seem to fawn and hype them up online anyway.... 🙄

Get a boob job, or don't get a boob job, do whatever you want if that's what YOU want. Stop wasting your time fretting about what men find attractive, they are not a monolith and besides tying up a big proportion of your self worth in how you look is a recipe for misery. Attraction isn't all physical, an amazing looking person can quickly become unattractive due to their personality and vice versa. Any man who writes you off solely because you have small boobs isn't worth having anyway, surely there is more to you than just your boob size and why would you want to be with a man so one dimensional anyway?

You suggested that woman’s husband was lying to make her feel better because he liked her smaller breasts.

I've honestly never looked at a woman you've described and found them attractive. I've found many natural looking women stunning however, I've never rated anybody a 10/10. We all have imperfections. We should all be content with good health and strive for inner happiness.

To the right man you wouldn’t be a disappointment because of your chest. When you find the right man he will find all part of you beautiful because he loves you. To be honest I think you’ll find the wrong type of men trying to look like all the Tiktokkers. Youll invite shallow guys.

one day you’ll be older, your body will change, you’ll have kids or get illnesses that will change how you look. Would you really want a shallow man to go through that with that was only with you because of your looks?

Lots of thoughts. Firstly, why do you want to be found attractive by as many men as possible? To what end? What's the purpose of it? Is it something that you need for your ego? If so, why? It's not something I understand.

Secondly, you've said multiple times that you don't think men find Kate Moss attractive. Men find Kate Moss very attractive. Ask pretty much any man over the age of 40 if he had a crush on Kate Moss for the majority of his teens and early 20s, and he will tell you, yes, she was very much the girlfriend that they wanted and could not have.

Thirdly, what is it that you want from this thread? The vast majority of women are going to disagree with you on this, because we do not look like Instagram influencers, we don't want to look like Instagram influencers, we have partners/husbands/boyfriends who love us and love the way that we look and we're pretty content with life. So we're not going to understand what it is that you're trying to do or why you're trying to do it. We’re all saying you're being unreasonable but you're not willing to hear that. So what is it that you're hoping to gain from this thread?

Finally, I asked ChatGPT to collate a list of the hottest women according to men (in the U.K.) on Reddit. As I was interested. This is the list:

1. Emily Ratajkowski
2. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
3. Sophie Turner
4. Emma Watson
5. Cara Delevingne
6. Keira Knightley
7. Millie Bobby Brown
8. Florence Pugh
9. Lily James

10. Natalie Dormer

Almost none of them fit your criteria of ‘what men like’. Which is hilarious.

You already look more than attractive enough for the right man.

But you're spending all your time looking at identikit plastic women in an instagram vacuum.

You'd do better going to work in the local homeless shelter on a Saturday morning/volunteering with a disabled kids respite group/walking the dogs at a rescue centre.

It would help fill the hole in your life you are trying to make good by looking like some non-existent version of what a woman "should" look like. And allow you to value yourself for all the good things you can do in the world exactly as you are. And realise that looks are fleeting, so there's really very little point appealing to a bloke who's attracted to that, because in 10 years time he'll be cheating with the younger model of it.

Learn to value yourself for you & meet more people that will do the same. Who knows, you might even meet a bloke who's can hold a conversation while looking into your eyes & not want anything other than exactly who you are. There are still more than a handful of them around, you know!

This us insane.

wtf is a 10/10 ‘girl’? And who judges what a woman looks like?

who cares what the current trendy shape is? That’s so shallow and meaningless.

You’re in your 30s. You’re a woman.

stop this madness.

who cares what ‘men’ want to see? Be happy for yourself the way you want to look.

And get off social media, ffs

This post makes me super sad for you.
We have a joke in my house where my husband looks at me lovingly and tells me I’m the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen; his eyes, his voice, his body language tell me that he believes this - my own body confidence means I will always struggle to understand how?! So I always say to him “thank you though you’re biased, and I hope you always are!” Even when you can’t see yourself that way, the right man will look at you with all the desire and love because the right man will know that you are the sexiest most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
it is never about that one flaw you see in yourself and that self deprecation is all on you to change, not on anybody else, regardless of if you have breast augmentation or not.