Wanting to look good and be a 10/10 girl? Men specifically?

[ThisChic]

People always criticise others for caring about their looks, but let's face it, we all appreciate beauty and strive to look our best.

I feel as though most women can be seen as '10/10' if they have good hygiene and skin/make up, i.e the whitened teeth, hair extensions, glowy fake tan, slim and big breasts.

I feel like I have a few obvious flaws; small boobs is the main one, but also teeth and hair that could be 'glowed up'.

I see that 95% of the women on TikTok on Instagram with 100 - 500k followers are just slim, tanned women with big boobs. All different facial features, but heavily made up, thin and big boobs.

Am I being unreasonable to want to make myself look hotter by fixing my flaws?

I would make any decision for surgery for myself anyway, but I just wonder what peoples' thoughts are!

I’ve never been a 10/10. When I was young I was slim and probably best described as plain. I had very small boobs and not particularly good legs, my hair is fine and never does what it’s told. I’ve had friends who were far more attractive than myself and who took far greater care of their appearance. Did they have more successful/happier relationships than me? No they didn’t, less so in my view. Appearance IS skin deep, beauty (generally) fades and what really matters in friendships and more intimate relationships is how you behave. What really matters is how you make other people feel around you.

looks are important if you want to be a trophy partner but the trouble with that is that there’s likely to be a better trophy come around at some point.

You have been here a while.

Some posters are replying to you, thinking you a 30 year old woman, like you said. I think posters need to be aware that you could be of either sex and any age.

I don’t know why people get looked down on for making themselves feel more confident in their own skin.

Because relying on "looking good" (whatever that means) as a way of being confident is on a hiding to nothing. You'll get old. We all do (the alternative is worse).

I'm glad I have a career that doesn't rely on my looks, and a life where I value myself, and those in my life value me for my energy, my ideas, my values, and my interest other people. That's my confidence.

This is true, no matter how much people want to deny it.

Not many marry someone they're not attracted to.

The attraction could be looks, build, height, intellect, values, confidence, job etc.

Many women don't like dating shorter men, some only want muscly or butch men.

Others would never be seen dead with a potbellied/tattooed/ skinhead.

It's all preferences we all have.

Think the main thing is it's great to feel good in yourself, but ultimately do it for you, not for someone else as they'll be someone out there who's preferences are exactly what you are.

Only if they're too big for one's frame &/or ill fitting bras.
I'm talking normal big boobs though, not mahoosive ones.

I don’t want the followers per se, I just wanted to be considered beautiful by most men. Or lots of them.

And no I don’t think that’s all my value, I know it isn’t. I also know we all age. I don’t feel scared of that. I just want to look sexy while I’m young, which is 30 still is. I don’t look any different to when I was 24/25.

@Treesandsheepeverywhere Yes exactly. People are always surprised when they see a stereotypically handsome man with a plain looking wife or girlfriend.

I am a 30 year old woman and I do dislike certain aspects of my appearance (it is mainly just my breasts).

What terrible thing happened in your childhood for you to place so much emphasis on other people’s opinion of you? Or is dating making you terribly insecure or something? I’d suggest intensive therapy rather than a ‘glow up’.

@LoveSandbanks I see your point about the ‘trophy’ partner but better is relative.

All of these so called 10/10 TikTok influencers are all equally called ‘amazing’ etc etc by men, common denominator is slimness with large breasts, usually pushed up to their heads. They’re not hourglass figures usually, mostly straight but with boobs and bodytuned waist on some videos 😂

Nothing -my parents were (are) lovely and always told me I was beautiful… but of course they think that, they’re my parents!

I don’t feel insecure about dating, but men can settle and I don’t want to be settled for. I would much rather be found beautiful, sexy etc by a future boyfriend or date than plain. I don’t see a problem with a bit of (physical) self improvement!

tjanks for your reply x

No, I am a 30 year old woman. How many 30 year old Incels hang out on Mumsnet? They’re all on Reddit, TikTok 😂

For what it’s worth, I am just a woman who wants to spend her young years (yes 30 is still young, if you look old at 30 you haven’t taken care of your health) looking good.

This OP really made me lol 😂

Do you really think the majority of men want a woman like this? I certainly don’t.

I wonder what sort of men you will attract just by your appearance alone? Or is that all it is to you, just the attention and admiration? Because that's really shallow and you won't find happiness there.

OP, the more beautiful a woman is the more likely she will be cheated on statistically - think about it. If a man is shallow enough to fall for someone's looks alone (probably to impress his friends) - at some point he will get used to her looks, then eventually grow bored of them and finally there's always someone prettier and younger around the corner.

Please take it from me, you really don't want the kind of men who only values looks. It took me until my 40's to figure this out 😩.

I wish I hadn’t. With respect, did you actually choose to have your norks made bigger? I can hardly believe it!. I'm waiting to for the day I can pay to have my boobs reduced. They're heavy, a pain on the back, make me breathless, men think of you as a pair of boobs. with a human attached. It has had a huge impact on my love life, and as to what I wished to do as a teenager, become a dancer, well, that went out of the window. Dancers don't have big boobs. And in everyday life, it makes things wearing.

I’m not surprised … my thoughts go to “there’s two people who have found each other”

Hope you find what you are looking for … a stereotypical handsome man who will match your 10/10 after your £000s paid for enhancements.

Oh I know they 100% don’t look like that in real life, even with the truckload of make up in real life. They do edit their faces and body shapes a lot. I’ve seen the less and more edited TikTok clips and it’s obvious…

They are all slim and do have large breasts in real life though, some natural breasts some not.

I am slim but just small bust. I know some people say this is fine but I just hate it and feel like it’s not sexy. So I just want to tweak it.

I don’t like the drag queen make up either - I only wear mascara and touch of concealer if I have redness on my cheeks.

It’s more the body shape the men are going for. Some like the made up look, even if they know it’s not natural. But more or less all go for the boobs. Look at how popular Sydney Sweeney is, even though some men say she has a weird face/droopy eyes they still go on about her.

Sorry I rambled there….

@Doingtheboxerbeat Perhaps that’s true, but a man wanting a beautiful woman (most men do if they can get one, let’s be real) does not mean he only values looks.

Also for cheating… all sorts of men cheat on all sorts of women.

There are happy, good looking couples who don’t cheat on each other. Not all men leave a woman when they both get old. Look at Piers Brosnan and his wife; he liked her for her beauty and her character. It is possible to like both.

I don’t want £10000s worth of enhancements and I’m not going for the trashy Only Way Is Essex look.

I just want quality, natural looking breast implants (those do exist!) so I can have a nice cleavage that men like. And no, not so I can just be seen as a pair of boobs, because not all men who have certain physical preferences objectify women.

And possibly some tooth whitening, but NOT stupid gleaming Simon Cowell teeth 😂

Well I wished men didn’t but apparently statistically that is what they find sexy/beautiful.

If men liked smaller breasts the breast implant industry wouldn’t be so lucrative. It probably wouldn’t even have been created in the first place.

Every update just makes me feel sorry for you. Jesus wept.

I'm not so much talking about men who happen to be with beautiful women, I'm talking about the ones who specifically go for looks alone.
Also, I don't think you can compare Brosnan to the insta scrollers 😂.

And yet nowadays, some men wouldn’t rate Bo Derek as a 10 because she has very modest sized boobs, and no butt.

That’s even more concerning as self-conceptions go. What is the rest of your life like, OP? Do you have good friendships, meaningful work, a life you generally enjoy and find valuable? I ask because all your posts suggest someone with cripplingly low self-esteem, someone who struggles with relationships and friendships in general, who has not found her place in the world, and because she doesn’t really understand other people, has decided that here is a thing she can control and excel in. It’s as if you’re an alien trying to figure out how to conform to one particular view of earthling beauty standards, based on a quick flick through TikTok..