Wanting to look good and be a 10/10 girl? Men specifically?

[ThisChic]

People always criticise others for caring about their looks, but let's face it, we all appreciate beauty and strive to look our best.

I feel as though most women can be seen as '10/10' if they have good hygiene and skin/make up, i.e the whitened teeth, hair extensions, glowy fake tan, slim and big breasts.

I feel like I have a few obvious flaws; small boobs is the main one, but also teeth and hair that could be 'glowed up'.

I see that 95% of the women on TikTok on Instagram with 100 - 500k followers are just slim, tanned women with big boobs. All different facial features, but heavily made up, thin and big boobs.

Am I being unreasonable to want to make myself look hotter by fixing my flaws?

I would make any decision for surgery for myself anyway, but I just wonder what peoples' thoughts are!

Good grief OP. No, one thousand times no. BE YOURSELF. You are unique. You don't need to be 'hotter' or 'fix your flaws'. Get off Tik Tok and Instagram. Why would you want all those thousands of followers? What does that actually get you?

Boob jobs, fillers, high heels, simpering, semi-naked online photos… these don’t make women look beautiful, they signal obedience.

I would say if you do anything, do it for yourself and not for men.

Also, I think you should accept you are beautiful as you are with all your flaws. You will be wanted and loved for who you are inside and out , and if anyone just wants you for your looks, is not worth getting involved with.

The beauty of life is warmth and kindness and generosity as well as intelligence and wisdom. Fun and laughter top the list too.

So please don't feel the need to change yourself looks wise. Focus on enjoying your life and making the world a better place in other ways 🙏

‘I was born with small ones, unfortunately’

We all were. Very strange sentence OP.

10/10 does not “get” the guy

My guy friends say:
The 10 girl … men stereotype her

1. guys avoid because not worth the effort / wants avoid competition
2. The type of guy who pursues the 10, isn’t the one who keeps her. he moves to next 10
3. men often go out with a friend, as girls do. The “wing man”, the “less” guy in some way, usually gets more girls than the alpha because he’s the one carrying the conversation with the other friends, or the 10, after the alpha moves on. The wing man has much more opportunity with the 10s friends because the 10 will never consider wing man, after the alpha shone the light on her. And the alpha man, might then switch to 10’s more attainable friend.
4. Friendly person who is fun to be with, who makes you FEEL like a 10 - gets the partners.

Better to spend your time being healthy, financially secure and interesting.

Mmm. Or an AI bot?

Wonder if they can be instructed to produce posts with/without internalised misogyny? <Scampers off to try>

Well right here I'm just waiting to find out if the lump on my breast in cancerous. So I'm not really in a superficial frame of mind. I hope I'll get a nice boob job out of it. Then I can go on Instagram. Not.
Maybe read a book or something?

all those 10/10 men are likely to be followers of Andrew Tate. But this is nothing new - women/girls actresses & pop stars were called fat when they were a size 10 in the 00's and anorexia was a real issue.

p.s. I have 32 E boobs and would trade them in a instant for smaller ones. Men see them and will just comment on as an object and those that don't think you are stupid and dumb.

This is interesting because it really depends on if you are trying to “fix yourself” for your man or the general man.

Ultimately, you should want to change parts of yourself for you. For example I want to have a slimmer stomach, I would love nicer teeth and yes a slight boob lift - but all of it is for me - it’s who I want looking back at me in the mirror. But I’m happy with who I am, and the body I am given - and for now, my personality and interests are enough.

I also find that there is this perception that all men want a Barbie doll - which I don’t think is true at all! If you look at married couples and people in long term relationships you will find both men and women come in different looks, shapes and sizes and what is valued is loyalty, personality match, sometimes life experience and similarities - and attraction plays a role - but it’s also in the eye of the beholder. Sure if your job requires you to be the standard beauty such as dancing at bars or being on TV - then that’s a different story.

I also think this trend of all women looking the same with the same nose job, make up, and lips etc is actually scary - I love that all of our faces are different.

What if you work and strive to achieve this big-boob, dark tan, hair extensions, snow white teeth, smart and expensive clothes look, and NOBODY cares. No-one says you look good hun' and shocker no MAN is interested in you?! 😱

How are you going to cope with that @ThisChic ?

😆

Yeh, no woman on the face of the earth speaks like this. Incels do.

Ive had E cup breasts since i was 14. It means a lot of dress styles are off limits to me, like plunging back dresses that can only be worn if you have small, gravity defying breasts that can be held up with tape. It means I have to replace my (expensive, well fitting, measured) bras with great regularity as they lose their hold power. It means I need high impact sports bras to do even low impact sports. I think there's a feminine elegance to being flatter of chest. Grass is always greener!

Is no 3. copied from some ghastly 'pick up artist' manual?

Jesus, what language is that?

If women willfully continue 'the game', how will it ever end?

Well basic psychology suggests that you don't address issues of low self esteem, insecurity and a need for validation by men by making a woman feel even worse about herself and invalidated by other women. If my language was an issue for you, I apologise. I thought it was a way of making myself clear using few words and an expression that is typically well understood. I meant, as a feminist one should be challenging the issues that lead women to feel as the OP does, not going for the lazy option of attacking an individual woman for navigating them in a way you disagree with. Better?

Yes! Absolutely this. And I think so much of the anti aging discourse feeds into this as well, which I’m only starting to realise and unpack my own attitudes to.

Women must always conform to what men ‘want’ - be young, attractive, fuckable biddable. Anything else is to be punished by not being validated, seen or respected.

A lot of very beautiful women have smaller breasts. I don't think you need big boobs to look good at all. Nor do I think you need to have a fake tan or hair extensions.

I would say that good hygiene, well fitting clothes and generally a healthy/balanced lifestyle will make everyone look their best

Make up sometimes full glamour other times no make make up look. I do a facial one day a week so the day after I just wear some highlighter lip gloss and mascara.

Pedicure once a week.

Eye brows tinted every other week.

My skin care routine
Am Face wash, apply ice. apply aqueous cream serum, eye cream and Sun cream all year round.
P.M. Coconut oil to remove make up. Toner to remove the oil. Face wash. Moisturiser and serum.

My nails are always immaculate painted and never chipped.

My hair used to need doing every day but that's to discovering garnier oat meal and rice water shampoo and conditioner it now only needs doing every 3 days. Intense hair mask once a week.

Hair immaculately styled every day.

I have dresses in every colour with bags jackets jewellery to match.

Shower twice a day.

Partly because I care what people think and yes because I want men to find me attractive, (I have no issues at all with admitting that) but also because I find self grooming very therapeutic and a form of art.

Not to My credit but I have naturally big boobs.

As for having a figure like Barbie though I'm afraid that ain't happening has never happened and will never happen as I'm too much of a hungry
Horace. I'll hold my hands up. 😂

If your only aim in life is to get 500k+ followers on Instagram for looking like all the other women who have 500k followers, then go for it.

But it will come at a price.

👏🏼😂 and as if by magic, the school holidays begin…

Why do you describe yourself as a 10/10 girl? Are you not a woman? You are over 18 aren't you?

I don't recall men aspiring to be a 10/10 boy & butchering themselves to be handsome for women.

This, 1000x. My DH and his friends are all very monied (ok millionaire) professional men. Not a single man amongst them has married or dated a woman who looks like the ones OP describes. The men are attracted to happy, confident women with healthy bodies and healthy attitudes, who have grown and birthed their kids. They divorced the neurotic, vain, insecure ones who were utter nightmares.

We are all ‘attractive’ women of different shapes, sizes, ages and ethnicities. Most have careers and either degrees or professional qualifications. Most are fun, like a good drink when we get together and are FUN to be around. THAT is what men find attractive - self confident, fun women who share their lives and parental responsibilities fairly evenly and who are mutually supportive of careers.

They think the vacuous, fake boobed, fake tanned, fillered and botoxed, mono-browed bimbos that OP idealises are an absolute effing joke. Those women are the stuff of Tate brother fantasies and sad women with internalised misogyny.

I’d recommend counselling to address low self-esteem before breast implants.

Yes!!

OP you not only have a warped view of what 'beautiful' means, you also have a warped view of what men find attractive. It's simply not true that all men prefer a 'lads' mag' type woman. It might be true of the men you know, I suppose. In which case, maybe change the kind of men you associate with.