To refuse to attend a child-free wedding because I think it’s selfish?

[ZingyJadePombear]

My cousin is getting married and has said it’s a child-free wedding. The problem is I have two young children and no family nearby to babysit. They’ve said it’s “non-negotiable.” I feel a bit hurt because it’s like they’re choosing their Pinterest-perfect day over family actually being there. I understand wanting a certain vibe but shouldn’t weddings be about loved ones more than aesthetics or rules? AIBU for thinking it’s selfish and considering not going?

Think you’ll only get ousted from a church if you try to steal the silver.
Everyone can attend any service they like.
Churches are open to all.

But not everyone has a kid.

Discriminatory.

At least as discriminatory as a child-free wedding.

I think you are missing my point.

lots of people can have large venues. But they shouldn't have to. 2/3 of the venues on that site were 150 or less. Large venues where people can invite lots of children are relatively rare.

most people either can’t afford a huge venue or there just isn’t one near them. They therefore cannot invite children. It isn’t selfish. There just isn’t space. If the OP insists on her children coming along, then the B&G might have to disinvite auntie Joan or their work colleague they get on super well with . There is an opportunity cost to every seat!

I’m guessing. And it is just a pure guess that it’s a health and safety thing.
ie a child protection issue.

I can’t imagine adults at a wedding need protection from kids although if the kids are anything like @TheHerboriste describes they’d have to be wherever they are. 😁
batten down the hatches and run for the hills

I’m not missing the point I was responding to the attached post.
pp looked around and couldn’t find anywhere near that catered for large numbers. Ok
I did a two second Google and found lots including websites with lots listed.
Im not saying there are loads near pp just that there are in fact loads

I am not saying you must invite kids and therefore must search for a huge venue to accommodate them. People can do what they want. I’m just pointing out those larger venues do in fact exist in large numbers.

But people are selfish if they don’t use them in order to ensure children are invited? I’m not sure of your point.

I know large venues do exist but they are relatively rare. I’m responding to people saying that B&G who don’t invite children are selfish. I’m saying that a) you don’t have to invite children if you don’t want to but b) a lot would if the venue they have chosen (for reasons of just love it or cost reasons) could accommodate more people.

Dear twins

If only you knew OP's cousin, you could send them that helpful list and enable them to invite hundreds of children! They could have a soft play area! 🥰

Bouncycastle
Clowns
Magic roundabouts

They could even invite the Tellietubbies 🤣🤣🤣
and have it in tellietubbyland

And the floor could be raspberry jelly!!

I thought delirium tremens 👀

Most people seem to think the same re invites and of course I agree

but you were bringing up a very clear and separate point about the lack of availability of larger venues in your post ( I hadn’t initially picked up it was yours btw 🥴)
I was simply pointing out that’s not the case and if people want a huge all inclusive anyone goes do. There’s places out there to suit.

Perhaps a person is lurking on this thread for opinions and could use that link.

Child free weddings are a reasonable choice. So many people say my children will not be disruptive, often these are the parents that do not see how their children's behaviour is not appropriate at such events. Weddings are generally a long day and kids can get bored. You sound slightly entitled.

Really? Is that a good analogy? Who would go to a soft play area if they didn't have children with them (and they weren't some kind of creep?)

I don't understand. Is something X-rated going to happen at the wedding? (Showing my age, which perhaps explains a lot hahah)

Me too.

So at £125 each for the cheapest food/drink package for the wedding breakfast only, that’s TWENTY FIVE THOUSAND POUNDS for one meal for 200 people.

The vast majority of people could only dream of affording that. I’m sure you could hire Wembley and have thousands of guests but if you can only afford to cater for 100 of them it’s by the by.

The other thing is that I come from impoverished, working class stock and have not been used to lavish weddings. Most of the weddings I've attended were done on the cheap (I haven't been to a wedding for quite a few years now as most of my friends are so much older and it isn't a thing anymore. Most of the younger couples I know are unmarried) with as many people (and children) as could be catered for invited. They were a lot of fun, but probably not instagrammable.

Oh, i was reading it as delerium tremons

🤣

I've never attended a wedding that was suitable for children. Alcohol flowing, long sit down formal meals, loud music...

We had plenty of ordinary Sunday dinners like that, let alone weddings 🤣

I agree.
I know many will disagree but I think it’s a waste of money
I wish we’d kept the money to use to buy a house.

If my kids were marrying these days I’d suggest
tea and drinks in the garden
maybe cake and cheese board
Plus of course
that bouncy castle in the garden

I wouldn’t pay £125 a head ! That’s madness

Actually our local one does get hired for adults only events lol. When my son worked at McDonald's theè was a staff do there

Plus the tea, champagne and cakes in the garden weddings are generally 1000x more charming than the costly extravaganzas.

And the raspberry jelly floor!! Otherwise I'm not coming to the wedding.