There have been several people posting on this thread about kids who have spoiled weddings and I’ve read OP’s posts but just skimmed through the comments.
I have noticed the people who claim their kids are well behaved are usually the ones who leave them to their own devices and they run riot.
I have posted before about a hairdresser who did my hair years ago and whose wedding was completely destroyed by 3 kids in her family, she knew they wouldn’t behave but was pressured to invite them by several family members.
One child cried through the ceremony and wasn’t taken out, she also tried to get under the bride’s dress when she was saying her vows and juice from a juice box was accidentally squeezed over the dress before the photos were taken.
The kids ran round during the meal and a little boy grabbed the table cloth to steady himself and pulled over plates and glasses, the staff kept telling the parents it was dangerous when they were carrying food and trays of champagne but were just ignored. They talked and cried during the speeches, the youngest (3 year old) had a massive tantrum that there was no ice cream for dessert and was throwing himself on the floor howling.
The kids started dancing when the bride and groom had their first dance and skidding across the dance floor on their knees, they were left to run around and help themselves to the very fancy evening buffet, it was things like oysters, asparagus tarts, crab cakes, mini beef wellingtons etc. the kids obviously weren’t keen so they were handling the food, trying it and spitting it out or putting it back, a lot of the food got ruined and the buffet was closed early. The parents were drinking and kept expecting everyone else to watch them, one of the bridesmaids spent all day running round after the 3 year old and returning her to her parents.
My hairdresser was absolutely devastated because she had anticipated that these things might happen. She ended up having a vow renewal on her anniversary. No one apologised to her and the mother of the kids (a cousin if I remember correctly) just said she was being uptight and said “that’s just how kids are”
That was an expensive wedding that was not suitable for children but her family insisted weddings were family occasions and forced the kids on her.
I always struggle to understand the point of view of the people who try to pressure others into including their children, it’s one day and I’ve never understood the importance of having them there if they aren’t part of the wedding party. I always imagine the people who insist it’s a family occasion and family must attend together are the same people who go to the supermarket as a family outing or to A&E.
I eloped for my wedding day, I didn’t want any kids including my niece and nephew, it wasn’t a popular decision but it made me happy, if I hadn’t and requested my wedding was childfree and people declined over it then I’d be much happier with that rather then accommodating children, I had a feeling people were going to ignore me and bring kids uninvited so that’s why we eloped!
Someone made a good point on a similar thread saying that the people who have childfree weddings are happy to accept that it’s their personal preference and are accepting of the fact that others prefer to include the whole family. The people against child free weddings seem to take it very personally and get offended over it and almost aggressive, I think that was an interesting observation and absolutely true.