First Mother’s Day - DH didn’t put anything on socials

[Genie98]

AIBU to be a bit gutted that my DH didn’t put a post up on socials yesterday to mark my first Mother’s Day? My feeds were full of other posts celebrating their Mum’s and I was hoping DH would have done something to mark the occasion. He has done the odd birthday post in the past and posted about our engagement/wedding etc so it’s not that he has never used it.

Just feeling a bit deflated and a bit jealous of my mum friends who had lovely messages and photo’s from their OH’s.

Personally if you feel like this you probably could do with giving yourself a break from social media!
If you had a nice day surely that’s the most important thing

I saw a post on fb from a guy to his wife about how she's a wonderful mother etc etc

What he didn't mention was 6 months ago he messaged me asking me to meet him in a hotel for sex, while she was pregnant with their 2nd child

SM is utter bollocks

And no, I didn't meet him and his invitation was entirely unsolicited

My ex husband always did a gushingly over the top birthday or mother's day post.

Turns out he was cheating on me relentlessly throughout the duration of our marriage.

Point is.. what someone says on social media is utterly irrelevant!! Their actions in private are what matters.

Given the celebrations you did have in real life, have you ever considered some therapy to work through why you need nonsense validation to feel secure?

I absolutely cringe when I see this shit on the socials. Someone I know posted a Facebook post wishing happy Mother’s Day to her dead mother! It took all my self control not to remind her that her mother wasn’t going to read it. This is a grown ass woman, close to 60 not a young person and not newly bereaved. It’s attention seeking bollocks.

A social’s post wishing happy Mother’s Day is if you don’t see her, and you were too idle to get a card and something sorted not for a husband to wish his wife a happy Mother’s Day 🙄

🤣 this

Grow up

No, social media is to show other people what a fab life you’ve having and is meaningless. the important thing is between you, your child and DH. Yes lots of people may have posted photos but they might have had a rubbish day. Don’t get dragged in to this nonsense and stay in the here and now.

OP I don't know how long you've been on Mumsnet but this really wasn't the place for your post. From what I see 99% of Mumsnetters despise social media (except for Mumsnet itself of course!)

This isn't an age thing either, I have friends (actual real life friends) ranging from 20's to 70's and a lot of them of all ages post 'cringe posts' on facebook and instagram. Actually some of the 70 pluses are the worst for it 😂.

Thanks everyone, appreciate the variety of opinions and would just stress again that I was really grateful for the day I had.

I think I’ll tell hubby later that it’s something which was important to me, but I’ll be careful to word it in a suitable way. He has photos of us on his grid so I’m sure people were a bit surprised not to see anything!

I very much doubt that anyone would have noticed or cared 🙄

Did you sit there and trawl through social media working out which of your friends husbands didn’t post?

Your latest update proves you're still convinced you're hard done by. "So I'm sure people were a bit surprised not to see anything" That just sounds so arrogant. What makes you think people care so much about your Mothers Day?

YAVBU. DON'T say anything to your DH. You had a lovely mother's day and got absolutely spoilt. If you mention this, he will resent you because he did so much and it wasn't enough because people didn't see it. If you do say something I suspect there will be a post on the next big occasions saying "AIBU for being upset my husband's post on social media didn't seem genuine?"

I would take some time to unpack why you need the validation of others to make you feel valued as a partner and mother. What do you want to prove to people.

For what it's worth, I'm 30, my entire teenage and adult life has been surrounded by social media, so it's not like it goes over my head.

My husband and I use/post on social media, BUT other than posting pictures of our wedding day, as a rule we don't post any information about our relationship online at all. Our relationship isn't secret by any means, but it's private. We don't post messages marking special occasions either. We say it to each other in person because we are the only people in our relationship. The things we say to each other are meant for us, and not for strangers on social media.

We're happy with our life and we're happy in our marriage. We don't need to post publicly to prove it to anyone.

Also NOBODY will be wondering why there wasn't a post. Nobody other than you cares.

If I'm seeing someone in person on the actual day (birthday/mothers day/anniversary etc...) or have given them a physical card then why tf would I put it on socials too? 😳

I’m not going to lay into you for feeling what you do, but only give you one piece of advice,which you can take or leave. Namely, that social media is largely toxic for relationships. It stirs up envy, resentment, superficiality, not to mention jealousy and insecurity. I’d advise all couples to give it a wide berth. Life is so much better without it.

Really.... nobody will notice at all that he didn't do a social media post. Honestly, nobody.

YABU.

Poor bloke.

I wouldn’t tell him if I were you!

My feed doesn't come up in chronological order, so it could be DAYS before I see a post someone puts up (aside from the fact I don't actually go on every day), so I genuinely don't think anyone I know would notice if DH did or didn't post anything for me (he didn't, he doesn't, I don't care, noone cares).

He has photos of us on his grid so I’m sure people were a bit surprised not to see anything
they won’t care or have noticed. If you want to keep up with the jones on SM crack on but it’s such a waste of time and headspace.

Get a grip, honestly. There is so much more to life than needing validation and attention from showy social media posts. It’s just pathetic.

Oh you’re going to tell him!What a vacuous female you are.Poor bloke with a wife like you.Grow up,you sound about 12.

That's a perfect Mother's Day. Why would you focus on the bit you're disappointed with rather than the fact you had a lovely day with the people who matter most? Don't have a quiet word otherwise a fb post may be all you get next year!

Oops! I knew that, yet somehow the N sneaked in!