To wonder how unethical a coffee date would be if he won’t commit?

[Celia24]

To clarify, my partner is dragging his heels on a proposal for various reasons. In my 30s I’m not getting younger.

I don’t want to break up with him yet, but I also don’t want to put all my eggs in his basket.

would I be a cheat to consider signing back up to the dating apps, with the intention of going on some coffee dates (nothing physical)?

Errr.....pretty unethical? But if you want to blow it up just end it?

Yes. Obviously.

I think you probably need to be up front and honest right?

If you put what is morally okay to one side, I think it's necessary simply from a practical perspective. One sure fire way to end a relationship is for him to discover you've been on dating apps and that he didn't know about it.

Just end it. Hedging your bets is the unethical thing to do in this situation.

Just end it if the relationship isn't working for you. Or propose to him if you want to marry him. Going back on the apps is childish and manipulative.

I can just imagine the replies if someone posted about a man doing this behind a woman's back.

You know it is wrong to do that. End your relationship first - as you both want different things - and then start looking for someone new.
A decent man or woman wouldn’t, I’m pretty sure, be impressed with meeting someone in the scenario you are suggesting.

Is it cheating to start dating other people…??

Yes, that's completely wrong and inappropriate. If you hvae a deadline for getting married and having children, express that clearly. If he can't or wont meet that deadline, leave and look elsewhere.

Will you be drinking coffee from ethically sourced coffee beans ?

Seriously??
How would you feel if your partner said he was dragging his heels on proposing because he’d been having a few coffee dates to see if there was someone better out there?

If you go back to dating without ending it you are every bit a cheating arsehole and deserve to be dumped unceremoniously.

Is that the froth you are after in your am i being a cf thread?

Yeah it's cheating. What happens if he does propose and finds put you had been seeing other people behind his back?

Have a conversation with him. If what you want from your future is not the same as him then end it.

I don't know, ask us another.

Like is the sky blue?

Your relationship is already over.

He doesn't want to get married and you want to date other people.

If time is an issue for you, break up with him this afternoon and get yourself back on the apps tomorrow.

Are you asking if it would be unethical to start recruiting for a man to have an exit affair with while you wait to see if your boyfriend proposes?

So you just want a proposal. Ridiculous. If you love him enough to want a lifetime commitment, ask him. If you don't love him enough to stay faithful, leave.

That's the direction my mind went in as well.

Would you want to innocently go on a coffee date with a man who was in your shoes?

Well if he was checking the quality of other eggs would you be upset?

arrange the date, then tell him, and post his reaction here.

You refer to him as your “partner”, so unless you are in an open relationship, it is indeed unethical.

Talk to him about it. I'm assuming you'd been happy for him to have coffee dates with other women too (nothing physical of course) so why not?

I'm sure you'll have lots of repeat dates once the guys you meet at coffee shops find out that you're a serially unfaithful games-player.

You have 3 options:

• wait for a proposal that may/may not happen
• ”This isn’t working for me. I want marriage.” This results in either a marriage or a breakup.
• secretly go on coffee dates with other men, and wait for the eventual implosion of your current relationship