Is it wrong I don't want to tell anyone my baby's name until she's born

[AnnieBuck]

Hi all, I will try and keep this short.

I am expecting a baby girl in two months and I'm excited. I have everything bought and ready to be used.

My friend has asked me several times what the name is and I said I didn't want to tell people until she's born. She said I should just tell people then to wait until she is born as it's stupid to wait.

I didn't think it was stupid as I have heard of people waiting to tell others their baby's name until they are born. I have had people spread things about my pregnancy (that I'm pregnant, what I'm having etc etc) and I just want one thing to be kept a surprise. Is that wrong?

I wouldn't have told them I knew the sex.....

Your baby’s name is your choice and belongs to her from birth - it’s part of the magic that we can control. If you discuss it before birth then others think they can give their opiinion yet they wouldn’t once she’s born. Don’t let your ‘friend’ ruin this for you - she’s far too pushy.

I didn’t know with mine until they were born. And no one cared that much either, your friend sounds like a tool tbh. Not sure how’s it’s ‘precious’ either. Just tell her you’ll decide when she’s born. Change the subject and move on.

When did it become polite to ask about an in or babies name? I've not heard of that and I don't think I've ever asked, am I committing some social faux pas that I wasn't aware of?

I also can't remember anyone ever asking me, not that I would have been able to tell them anyway as I didn't want to know the sex either. My children are older now, is this a more recent trend?

Of course you aren't BU, it's no one else's business

People say that on here, but in the real world it’s the top question people ask expectant mums. Why do people on here try and tell an excited expectant mum that no-one cares? As plenty of people do care and are interested in the gender and name of the baby. Having a new baby brings joy to more than just the parents in the world outside of mumsnet.

Not wrong. A bit precious, perhaps, but not wrong.

Just say you are waiting until after the birth to see what name suits her. I think many ppl do the same.

I didn't even know if my baby was a boy or girl until he was born (it was 1983, before scans were routine). Part of the excitement of pregnancy was not knowing, and then deciding a name partly based on what seemed to fit with the baby. It's entirely reasonable not to tell people the name beforehand. You might even change your mind when you finally see your baby.

Not even precious. Entirely within reason.

I did both and I can tell you if you share before baby arrives tons of people give you unwanted rude opinions.
if you wait until after the birth everyone just says oh how lovely! We love the name

I do find it really weird when people do this.

But it’s up to you.

Ok I take this back. Just seen a thread about ‘names you would never give your child’ full of perfectly ordinary names. Ok, because of people like that I can see why people hide their child’s name till they are born.

It has nothing to do with a new baby bringing or not bringing joy. The point was about the revealing of the name before the birth. Yes, people may ask and have an opinion on whether it should be kept a secret or not, but in the grand scheme of things nobody is going to lose sleep over it and it’s at the discretion of the parent/s to be. Simple as that.

Just say you haven’t decided, you have a few on the list but dont know yet, blah, blah, or we’re sticking with ‘Bump’ for now - end of conversation. Saying you have a name but you are not telling just sounds precious and irritating when there’s just no need to go there.

I'd say wait to announce tull the baby is officially named. I've always thought hiding it was a bit meh. But then my cousin always announced her kids names beforehand and people had opinions. Even the ones that I thought were sensible, polite people.

Where I'm from there is often a naming ceremony/christening/baptism and people wait till then to announce. It might be few months after birth.

Did the same. Waited to find out whether boy or girl too, we had a name for each waiting. We knew both names before even conceiving however we could have changed our minds too which is why we didn't say until after they were born. Just say you don't want to say incase you change your mind. I knew my DM would say it was old fashioned etc and couldn't be bothered to listen to that either 🤣

My friend has asked me several times what the name is and I said I didn't want to tell people until she's born.

Well that was daft of you. Why didn't you just say that you haven't decided yet?

Making it a secret will of course make people curious.

It's absolutely normal not to tell the name (or even decide it) until the baby's here. Why turn it into some kind of 'I'm keeping something from you' taunt?

She’s not, her friend is just being nosey.

Personally I would be truthful too, tell her and others that they’ll find out on the day.

We didn't tell anyone our chosen name until after DC was born. We had IVF and literally the only part that was just between DH and I was the name we chose. If people asked we just said we would tell them after he was born. No one was weird or rude about it. At least not to our faces.

Your friend is being obnoxious. Just ignore her next time she asks. It’s normal not to disclose the name until after you give birth.

Very sensible not to tell until she's born, otherwise people might give your their unwanted opinions. Just say you haven't decided yet.

I would just say you undecided on a name.
I've had 4 kids and non of them had names before they where born.

I waited until my children were born before announcing the name, friends already knew the sex so the name was still something new to announce.

I Know someone who told a pushy ‘friend’ the unborn babies name in confidence and the pushy friend got a dog and gave it the name before the baby was born 🤦🏻‍♀️

Also you might change your mind when the baby is born and you know lots of personalised gifts with the wrong name on 😁

I think it's normal, but I come from a culture where often the name is only announced over a week after birth. Even between my husband and I, we chose the name before birth, but didn't properly say it to ourselves/eachother until after baby was born.