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Original poster

Is it wrong I don't want to tell anyone my baby's name until she's born

74 replies

AnnieBuck · 30/03/2025 23:34

Hi all, I will try and keep this short.

I am expecting a baby girl in two months and I'm excited. I have everything bought and ready to be used.

My friend has asked me several times what the name is and I said I didn't want to tell people until she's born. She said I should just tell people then to wait until she is born as it's stupid to wait.

I didn't think it was stupid as I have heard of people waiting to tell others their baby's name until they are born. I have had people spread things about my pregnancy (that I'm pregnant, what I'm having etc etc) and I just want one thing to be kept a surprise. Is that wrong?

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 30/03/2025 23:35

Just say you are undecided, nobody is that fussed really, but when you make a point of keeping it secret it makes people naturally more curious. Just say you aren’t sure and will decide when she’s here.

SwanRivers · 30/03/2025 23:36

It's not 'wrong' it's must a bit 'meh'.

The vast majority won't care, they'll only ask out of idle curiosity.

It's obviously important to you but not them.

ETA: Saying you're keeping it as a 'surprise' is what makes it sound weird, rather than you're undecided.

ThorsMistress · 30/03/2025 23:36

I told people my son’s name before he was born and if I had known what I did, I would have kept it to myself until he was born. I got told ‘you can’t call him that’, ‘that’s an odd choice’, amongst other things. Your friend will find out her name when she’s born. I don’t know what the big deal is with knowing?

Conniethecatapillar · 30/03/2025 23:38

I didn't tell anyone my kids names until they were born as I didn't even know what I was going to name them! Both times names were decided after they were born. People get so invested in names and try to put you off as well!

HateThese4Leggedbeasts · 30/03/2025 23:40

I didn't 💯 decide until after dv was born and with my first changed my mind anyway. Your friend is being over invested in your decision imo.

If you tell people before the birth they feel like they can offer an opinion so I would never do it. At best id say , we like (traditional/ zany/ short, long / names that abbreviate/ unisex /a different description) names and then move the conversation along..

Sportacus17 · 30/03/2025 23:41

Sounds a bit precious.

CountingDownToSummer · 30/03/2025 23:41

Everyone will have an opinion on your name choice if you tell them before the baby is born, most people, well those with manners, would never voice unkind opinions once the baby is here.

Rainbowqueeen · 30/03/2025 23:43

Completely normal not to tell.

Telling will only lead to issues. Tell her that you just want to enjoy your pregnancy without the stress of other people weighing in on your chosen name.

Moier · 30/03/2025 23:44

Myself and my sister didn't tell until our kids were born.
Obviously we had both girl and boys name..we were not told the sex back then.
My daughter didn't tell me until we were in the delivery room.
You do you.. your baby .. your right.

SemperIdem · 30/03/2025 23:44

We didn’t share the name we’d chosen until our baby was born (this week).

Everybody survived, even my nagging MIL

SwanRivers · 30/03/2025 23:44

CountingDownToSummer · 30/03/2025 23:41

Everyone will have an opinion on your name choice if you tell them before the baby is born, most people, well those with manners, would never voice unkind opinions once the baby is here.

It's unmannerly either way to comment negatively when you haven't been asked for your opinion.

Doesn't matter if the baby's been born yet or not.

Obvnotthegolden · 30/03/2025 23:44

Why is your friend so bothered?

We chose two names and decided once we met the baby, we knew as soon as ds was born that his name should be our 2nd choice, it's hard to describe how we knew but we did.

BaronessBomburst · 30/03/2025 23:46

Not only did we not tell anyone the name, but we also refused to tell anyone the sex. People pass enough comments as it is.

Smoothandsmooth · 30/03/2025 23:47

Don’t tell anyone until after the birth. People will make negative comments about the name, which they won’t do if it’s already set in stone (ie baby is born). No one I knew spoke about names before their births.

newschoolpals · 30/03/2025 23:47

We didn’t tell anyone our children’s names before they were born (even though we were 100% sure) - I can’t say anybody really batted an eyelid at our decision. I didn’t realise it was strange not to tell? Why is anyone else even bothered 🤷🏻‍♀️

BrokenLine · 30/03/2025 23:48

BaronessBomburst · 30/03/2025 23:46

Not only did we not tell anyone the name, but we also refused to tell anyone the sex. People pass enough comments as it is.

This. And I didn’t tell anyone but DH and my line manager I was pregnant till I was almost half way.

Merrilydancing · 30/03/2025 23:49

I’m glad that we didn’t as we had a name in mind and then had a complete about turn after they were born.

TaupeMember · 30/03/2025 23:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Ecotype · 30/03/2025 23:50

Sportacus17 · 30/03/2025 23:41

Sounds a bit precious.

Does it? Sounds normal to me.

uncomfortablydumb60 · 30/03/2025 23:54

You’re not wrong at all. Just tell everyone who asks that you haven’t decided and will wait to meet baby first.

SwanRivers · 30/03/2025 23:57

Ecotype · 30/03/2025 23:50

Does it? Sounds normal to me.

Show quote history

I think the PP means 'surprise' bit makes the OP sound a tad precious.

Faz469 · 30/03/2025 23:59

I had a friend do this last year. No one was bothered that she wanted to keep it a surprise....your friend sounds like the odd one

LadeOde · 31/03/2025 00:08

Its none of her business; people just want to criticise. She can wait like everyone else.

Strokethefurrywall · 31/03/2025 00:09

I never told anyone the baby’s name until they were here. Not even top names that were on a “list”.
We didn’t know the sex with DS1 and did with DS2 but still didn’t mention names. My babies, our choice and I didn’t want anyone else’s input or opinion.

Thunderpants88 · 31/03/2025 00:12

Rainbowqueeen · 30/03/2025 23:43

Completely normal not to tell.

Telling will only lead to issues. Tell her that you just want to enjoy your pregnancy without the stress of other people weighing in on your chosen name.

Perfect.

we told people (baby #4) because we were sure and are old enough not to give a rats ass why anyone else thinks and we got A LOT of people giving their opinion

Don’t phrase it as “a surprise” I would say “we have an ever growing list of options and will decide when she is here”