Husband getting married

[Grassisalotgreener]

Separated 13 years, no contact since children came of age, separated as a result of dv. I was informed today that he is getting Married next week .
Should i inform someone in authority?
Aibu if i report him, i was delighted when he moved on so not upset he is getting married,but im astounded because we are not divorced!

Not necessarily- only if carried out by a Registrar.

The other woman is not the op problem, that just muddies the water she is in no way responsible for her . Reaching out to her or confronting him could potentially put the op in danger. She has worked hard to make a new life and just wanted a sounding board on here . We have given her that but ultimately she knows him we don’t. I hope this gets resolved with as little disruption to her life as possible. Life at points is crap through no fault of our own, good luck with the rest of your life and stand proud. You are a survivor.

And what in the shiny shite does that have to do with OP?

I can't be bothered 😂 The point is she asked a question and I replied with what I would do, based off the information given at the time. You all as rude as heck that people can't go through 23 pages of texts.
So many excuses put up when in reality the answer is pretty simple. If she felt she can't report him to the authorities because of fear then maybe she shouldn't have asked the question in the first place because only she knows him and the situation. It just seems senseless if people have given advice when ultimately it seems she can't report him anyway 🤷

@GertieET
If you press ‘See all’ you’ll be able to read OP’s posts only.

Don't blame the OP because your advice was pointless and ignorant, and you couldn't be arsed to read the OPs posts.

If you cant be bothered dont be bothered to give an ill informed opinion.
I asked a question and have had helpful replies, dont shit on me because you cant be arsed to spend 5 minutes reading a something.
😡

Thank you 😊 That's helpful. I really appreciate that as I didn't know. At least someone is kind enough to explain and not act like an A over it.
I have literally been where OP has been. Sure my ex didn't get remarried but I know how it is being in a DV situation, I know how expensive and time consuming court and divorce can be.
If my comments weren't helpful fine but people are just extremely rude about it.

You haven't been where she has been. She's in a different country with different divorce laws.

You were very rude to OP.

The op came on here for support she can’t voice in real life . She had been given information and support, we are not qualified to advise a stranger who we don’t know all the details about. Advice is sometimes ill advised. We are not in her shoes, we are standing with her . Ultimately it’s her life and she did explain it was her first time posting.

Sure but it sounds like the differences are more extreme in Ireland. Based purely on this thread. Not claiming any expertise.

Has she said that? I was referring to the present state of affairs, that it doesn't matter if she tells the authorities or not, since you say she doesn't have to..

It's NOT her job to report anything. Stop trying to get your jollies at the OP's expense! Her duty is to keep herself and her children safe and that is all!

This comment is spot on. Too many posters who watch too many reality shows and soap operas who are desperate to be involved in a bit of drama and egging the OP on for their own gratification. Almost as bad as the posters who start a post with "well if it was me" and then launch into a wild story detailing some action that nobody would do ever, just to make out they are smart.

Add to that the fact that a larger percentage of people don't seem to realise Ireland is a separate country and has been since 1922, that their laws are different and that divorce wasn't even a thing until 30 years ago, or because a certain type of ceremony isn't a thing in England that doesn't mean it is not a thing elsewhere and the whole thread is a bit of a shitshow, isn't it?

@Grassisalotgreener take care of yourself. Not your circus, not your monkeys. If he is stupid enough to try to marry bigamously, then hell mend him. You have no loyalty to him, or the other woman.

My mistake - it's called 'giving notice' in a Register office, 'reading banns' is what happens for the 3 weeks leading up to a church wedding. It basically informs everyone in that district or parish of your intention to marry and it also gives anyone a chance to say if the marriage shouldn't go ahead for any reason. (Him already being married is probably a good example!)

That’s because it HAPPENS BEFORE THE WEDDING. Between 28 days-11 months before. It’s called giving “Notice” …… it does not happen DURING the actual wedding lmao 🤣

This is MY POINT! Why is she worrying about something that COULDN'T HAPPEN anyway? Unless she’s still invested in that relationship and what he’s doing! …..And at the moment, he’s not doing anything wrong by being engaged!

What I thought from the very outset

Wow.
I posted on mumsnet as i often see very good advice from posters.
The news of his up coming nuptials were a shock i didn't want to do anything rash so posted asking for advice. In reading CERTAIN peoples responses i came to a decision.
I am in no way invested in an abusive mans life, it was a relief to me when he got got engaged but i expected him to take responsibility for the first time in his sorry life , do the right thing and divorce me.
He couldnt even do that right and has dragged another woman and his children into his pathetic drama.
It was never a given that i wouldnt report him, thats why i asked for opinions, after all isnt that what this forum is for.

The news of his up coming nuptials were a shock

and a relief surely?

are his children happy for him?

I wouldn’t have even wasted my time writing on MumsNet. (I’m a properly blunt person and yes, it comes across harsh!, but I won’t apologise for who I am).

Don’t worry about what he’s doing, or his new partner and children. Just live your life and enjoy it. He cannot legally get married in the UK without divorce documents.

He’s not done anything wrong, he’s just engaged.

you need to file for your divorce. If you win the lottery…. He’s entitled to HALF as your husband. If you die… all your belongings (regarlesss off a will!) will go to him and he will oversee your funeral. Do you really want that?!

Jeesus read my posts I DO NOT DISCUSS THEIR FATHER

OP literally wrote “it was a relief to me when he got got engaged” a couple of sentences after the bit you quoted!

Yes you don’t
but doesn’t occur to you that your adult children may want to discuss this with their mother? So you have no idea what their thoughts are or whether they’re attending
ok