Husband getting married

[Grassisalotgreener]

Separated 13 years, no contact since children came of age, separated as a result of dv. I was informed today that he is getting Married next week .
Should i inform someone in authority?
Aibu if i report him, i was delighted when he moved on so not upset he is getting married,but im astounded because we are not divorced!

Another one that couldnt be arsed and making assumptions, do you do this in your real life or just on o line...ffs

I don’t really fancy talking about my ex
but my kids…. Well, they want to sometimes and so I suck it up
especially about things like him remarrying and whether we are divorced or not
each to their own

Heavens op
ok I’ll back away
all sounds quite depressing
all the best

OP is clearly tired of people bringing up things she has already addressed upthread.

People do really need to read all her posts.

That was meant for lollylucy101 sorry
Its time to stop reading posts as i feel frustrated with people that keep saying irelevant misinformed nonsense and cannot be bothered to read the thread but hey ill throw this in anyways..
Have a bit of common sense lollylucy101

Neversayit
Thankyou exactly that!
look at this paragragh from lollylucy101 its insane!

He’s not done anything wrong, he’s just engaged.
you need to file for your divorce. If you win the lottery…. He’s entitled to HALF as your husband. If you die… all your belongings (regarlesss off a will!) will go to him and he will oversee your funeral. Do you really want that?!

I don’t think AIBU is for this kind of thread OP, not known for its professional legal advice

They're not in the fucking UK.

Its been said 97 times already.

🤣 IM IN THE UK. So giving MY ADVICE that KNOW is FACTUALLY CORRECT !

It’s the same for 99% of the western world!

But the OP, and plenty of other posters, have said she's not in the UK. So you're "advice" 🙄 is worthless.
99% of the world is not in the UK (despite what you may think).
And there's no need to shout.

It’s a bit more than engaged. The wedding invitations have been sent out.

bit I agree. The op needs to bide her time now. Do nothing. See what happens. I can’t believe her kids won’t say anything now they know he’s still married and they’ve had a wedding invite. What a shit show this ridiculous man is creating.

When you think it's as bad as it gets, someone comes along to lower the bar even further 🤦‍♀️

You're arguing with the anonymous. This forum is not always a great place to get advice from. I did once and never again I would say 5% understood the situation. The majority of people who post on here are bored. I think you are unreasonable to expect advice from a bunch of bored women. You know what to do don't take offence to strangers who don't know what you look like.

All your assets goes into your children's names then he doesn't get anything.

I did not. What is ChatGPT? Never heard of it. What is wrong with copy and paste? It is at least accurate and not made up. Too much is fake now.

I am sure if you try you will find a way to block Ai, but why would you want to? Don't you agree with accuracy? At least if I copy and paste you cannot all say I am wrong, can you?

Are you writing a thesis on how to make posters stop posting in the cruelest way?

If I look something up, I copy and paste it to make absolutely sure I have it right. I don't mind being ridiculed for copying and pasting when something has to be exactly right.

You have to learn to live with Ai, because I rather think it is here to stay. I like to get everything right. Gone are the days when people put things 'in their own words'' because accuracy is prime now.

Abusive & DV men are usually liars too and no-one questions them because they know what repercussions will follow. He's probably told everyone concerned that you're already divorced.

Including your children in the facade is unforgivable - he knows they'll tell you and he'll be waiting for your reaction to his happy news via them. Nothing worse than children being caught in the middle & used as pawns by one parent against the other. It's a hard place to be for a loving mum. I chose to support mine with their father issues as they arose - what they thought of him was discussed openly by them so they felt comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings and knew I was always there to offer support to them.

No doubt new wifey will be experiencing the same issues as you did but that's her issue. I didn't see all the red flags but I see them all now x

What is ChatGPT? Never heard of it.

Erm. Do you never read/listen to/watch the news?

I think a good many posters are into research - or writing theses for their doctorate.

I can pull out those trying to see how fast they can make someone miserable enough to stop posting.

I can even imagine a ''gang of four'' seeing who can be the nastiest, who can create misery, who can influence a whole lot of others on a given subject.

The range is endless.

Ironic isn't it, that someone who is lecturing us about having to learn to live with AI doesn't know what ChatGPT is 😆

This thread has degenerated into a farce.

The OP says that she has notice of the marriage date of a man she is still married to.

Should she report it, or just pretend it isn't happening?

If you know a criminal offence is about to take place, should you tell the authorities about it? If you don't report it, can you be accused of aiding and abetting a crime. Remember, a crime is a crime is a crime. All has to be reported. Some crimes may be worse than others.

Is it legal to wait until the crime is taking place, then scream blue murder?

In Irish law, if I know something is going to happen am I legally obliged to report it? Can I determine what level of crime is about to be committed and judge whether it is prudent to tell someone? Would I be acting lawfully if I just kept schtum and pretended it wasn't happening?

Or should I go to the wedding, then stand up at the appropriate moment and declare the groom to be already married and therefore he is committing an offence by continuing with the ceremony?

How can anyone ridicule that in a post? It isn't judgemental, it isn't accusatory.

I copied and pasted what the position is under Irish Law, but even that I was pulled down for.

Has the thread degenerated into somewhere to make lives miserable, to discourage people from posting?

To give posters the opportunity to argue against anything? With some people, if you were wearing a black dress they would swear bling it was white.

What? You're being a bit weird now. No one is trying to make you miserable. And the gang of four reference is...odd.

OP isn't committing a crime, her ex will be, and she's not legally obligated to try to stop him or to report him. And saying that a DV survivor should stand up in public and try to humiliate her abuser is a dangerous suggestion.

I understand your reticence about getting involved , but if the marriage goes through, and you knew about it, and you knew that he is still married I think you could be prosecuted for not reporting it.
Your children have been invited, so there would be no credibility in claiming you didn't know.
Yes he has to show line of sight to him being single, so he would have to claim he had never been married-but I can't imagine he would be challenged unless the people marrying him knew him well enough to know he had been married in the past, marrying to get an EU passport is much more likely to be suspected than bigamy these days.

Thanks a million for all sensible replies really appreciate them.
I wont post anymore because it has stopped being helpful and is more frrustrating.
I got what i needed and certainly wont be using the forum again.
I didnt expect legal advice just a moral dilemma that i felt confused about.
Hey ho you live and learn!

Noooo! Do update us with what happens and if the wedding actually goes ahead or explodes or whatever.

You are a better woman than I because I'd be whispering in the local Gardai's ear about possible bigamy because I'd do anything to annoy my ex... (I recently found out that he most likely broke my nose during DV luckily over 25 years ago).

There was a time when I'd lose my shit over what my estranged DH did to piss me off, to tighten the screws, it's endless, an extension of what living in the same house was like. It's not easy & if you haven't been through it you'll never understand what it's like. So easy to tell someone else what to do but until you've walked in OPs shoes you'll never get it. No point pouring petrol on something when it's not your fire, instead take whatever advice you choose and walk away. Not my circus, not my monkeys.