I don’t want to be responsible for a living thing ever again

[retirementislooming]

Brought up two children who now are adults with good lives. Have had various pets. I’m now 55 and never want any more responsibility for a living being. The peace is lovely . Sat here now with a huge glass of wine and utter silence. Anyone else feel the same?

57 and kids in their 30s. Work in a school. But I LOVE coming home to my cats. The 8 year old I planned to get but the kitten was abandoned at 4 weeks old and a happy surprise. He has made everyone happier. A little black ray of sunshine.

I’m the same. I live alone, kids grown. I enjoy this stage of my life but my cat and dog are my daily companions and make me happy.

Because we were WE. We all worked together and were happy (still are). But the idea of that starting again with another child or animal or, god forbid, man, is anathema to me!

And people change. What I loved in my 30's I dont love in my 50's. They change and we change. When my youngest son was little he said he would never leave me. When he was 18 he couldnt wait to go to Uni to get his independence. Now at 19 he says that he wishes he had chosen a Uni closer to home!

Yes! I have 3 grown up kids and 2 dogs .. last pet sadly pts last year but I wouldn’t get another

I always refused to get a dog because they are basically big, goofy toddlers who never become independent, and I knew I'd be the one doing everything for the dog despite all the promises of walking and poop scooping and whatnot. I'm fond of other people's dogs but privately I think "sooner you than me".

I'm on my last cat - shes almost 12 - and youngest DD of 5 DCs lives at home but comes and goes independently.

It's really nice to cook whatever I want for dinner and not have to take persnickety eaters into account.

I definitely don't want any responsibility. I inherited my grandmother's budgie and got him a friend and that's all I can handle 😆even then I panic if I think there's anything wrong with them. I grew up with dogs and my parents weren't the best owners, I was even bitten on the face by one of them as a toddler, others got ran over. Made me terrified of ever having dogs again-although I'm sure I'd be a lot more careful than my parents were!

Haha I don't know when this will ever be me,we have 5DC 4 are grown up and moved out,our youngest is 17 and at college and we're Grandparents to DGS5 from our older DD and we have a DGD due in a couple of months to one of our older sons and we've just found out that were going to be grandparents again later on in the year,older DD is expecting her second.
We also have 2 elderly dogs and 1 Gerbil.

If I make it till then I think I'll be in my 70s by the time life calms down for us.

You’re obviously not unreasonable, it’s your life so can do whatever you like.

I love being a mum and we’ve always had a lot of animals too. If and when the kids leave home, I think we will always have animals, as taking them in, giving them a good home and just being around them makes me very happy.

This will be me in my 50s hopefully. I love the idea of them inviting me over for dinner and treating me as a bonus haha. Whilst I love my kids so much whilst they are young and I’m taking it all in and not wishing the years away - always joke that I’ll live another youth after 45

I totally agree with you OP.
I'm a worrier:
I worry about my son of course, even though he is an adult and lives away from home.
But when I had pets I had absolutely no peace because I worried about them constantly- whether they were OK, whether I was doing the right thing for them, who would look after them if I wanted a holiday, how long I could leave them for if I went away for the day etc, etc.
The constant worry detracted from the pleasure of their company.
I now live a lonely and solitary life but that is preferable to the constant worry.

Omg yes OP! My youngest is 18 in a week and then I’m free!!

My bunch will then be 21,19 and 18 and I’m freeeeeeee!

I used to have 6 cats- down to 4. Just so much stress over 20 years looking after them all and the cost- unreal.

I agree noroomfor- the constant worry is totally debilitating.

One of my cats has become really unwell and I can’t get to a vet before Monday as emergency vet is too costly ( about £350 ) and I don’t have a car at the moment to get overvyo the next town where the clinic is located.

So I’m up feeling completely stressed out about it and awake at 4.am.

Once my cats are dead - no more pets.

The day my first born arrived, I’ve never slept properly again if you see what I mean.

I love my kids and cats to the end of the universe but I am totally done with the responsibility. Peace- that’s what I want !

I feel the same way but I expect to care for both my mum and my DH in the future. Bloody not looking after any grandkids though, unless an emergency.

I don’t blame you. I have a 6 month old and a 4 year old so I have caring responsibilities for a while. We also have a cat. She’s 14, lovely but now costs £80 a month to insure plus medication and food and a sitter if we go on holiday. When she dies definitely no pets for a long time!

Have decided no more after my current batch of animals. However, this could be 10 years away by which time I will likely be retired (and ironically will have more time on my hands). I love animals but no more after these. I’m exhausted.

I get you. But I’ll always have cats as they are so easy to care for, barely have to do anything and they give so much love.

You’re not being unreasonable, but I’d always want a cat.

Grown up children, no pets. Every day I revel in the peace and order in my house, those uninterrupted stretches of time when I can just be. It's glorious.

We have a fab dog and cat but I now realise how people generally have one pet and then say they’re done- I feel guilty for all the times I asked people ‘would you consider getting a dog?’ Now the kids are older the dog needs as much attention (I’m up now to go outside with him and feed the cat before she meows the house down!)

I get you OP.

We have an 11yo and an elderly cat who is on her way out. We’ll get another cat this time, but that’s it.

Yes - I’m happy to be free of young children/grandchildren and pets.👍

Nice idea, but after my DC grew up I am now caring for elderly mum, older brother with LD and now have a DGC, a grand dog and my own cats.

I sometimes feel panic that I will never be free.

I always chose cats over dogs because I prefer the lower responsibility lifestyle, but last year I accidentally adopted the world's highest maintenance cat from a shelter. Before her I had two older girls together who were easy bonded pair, absolutely easy, just feed, pet, let in and out and let them enjoy their lives. I still have one of the seniors, but then it turned out that what I thought was a petite adult moggie at the shelter was a mostly-oriental kitten. Have you ever met a siamese or oriental? OH MY GOD. Its not like a normal cat. The voice. The energy. The drama. The brains. The jealousy. The passionate adoration interpersed with dominant behaviour and petty acts of revenge for percieved slights. The athletics. I adore her now and she loves me passionately (though this doesn't stop her biting to chastise me or demand attention). But I wouldn't have another. She also loves my other cat passionately, but has to assert her dominance by standing over her and grooming her enthusiastically or slapping her butt to make her move.

Yeah that's what I thought too 😂

See, I absolutely love dogs. We grew up always having one but I’m never getting one. I just enjoy watching other people’s in the park without having to pick up their poo or take them home for a bath after running through mud.