Why is the go to mother of bride outfit a hideous stiff coat dress with hat?

[Coranne]

No offence intended. But why do so many mother of the brides wear these horrible long coats with stiff dresses and a huge hat.

I took my mum to a wedding stylist (not cheap) and all she did was pull out outfits like the first image. I told the stylist I wanted my mum in something like the second outfit plus pashmina.

I’m British but my family is European by origin. Is it just tradition? The go to? It’s not even the most flattering. My mum is slim so I don’t get the knee jerk reaction to go for such a dated look

So confused!

Neither image is of my mum

i wore a dress from Scarlett & Jo, as recommended by mumsnet
was wonderful

Some people find breaking from tradition difficult, in case they’re criticised; it’s a safe option.

I prefer to do it my own way, as did my mum. You don’t need a stylist to pick an outfit!

I’m getting more at style of dress. The second would suit a larger lady

It wouldn't. It would have zero elegance. I'm a larger lady.

It's quite a depressing thought really !

My lovely sister was Mother of the Bride on Friday and she wore a lovely elegant, flowing dress with contrasting fascinator. Nothing stiff and frumpy going on there

I bought my first MoB outfit from Jacques Vert (a sleeveless, blush coloured empire line midi dress) and the second came from Phase Eight (black, long sleeved, knee length). I was only in my 50s both times and wasn't prepared to dress like my mother!

Maybe where you come from but not in the UK it doesn't.
Statement heels lol. Thank goodness my DD doesn't expect me to wear such monstrosities.

I find it interesting that I have pointed out that I am British born (as are my parents) and people keep trying to other me

Statement heels do not mean high heels. Many of the shoes shown are not sky scraper

I go to approximately 200 weddings a year (work-related) and I would say less than 5% of the mothers of the bride wear anything like the formal, structured dress-plus-hat combination these days.

Very, very few people wear hats. A small number have fascinators. Most just have their hair natural and wear a lovely, flowing summer dress or trouser suit which suits them.

I think OP's issue may be due to having gone into a shop and asked for a "mother of the bride" outfit. It sounds to me like that's been interpreted as wanting something different from the rest of the guests. Something a bit more formal, so it's obvious you're part of the wedding party, in the same way that the groomsmen will all be in formal suits.

Perhaps if you ask simply for a "wedding guest" outfit, you'll be shown things which are more your mum's style.

When ds1 was getting married DH and I went to John Lewis and had a personal stylist appointment. I had several outfits to choose from and ended up with something similar to your second image, which wasn't expensive. Perhaps your mum could try that? I wasn't keen on the wedding shop outfits and am about 30 years too young to wear them in my opinion!

Niece got married earlier this month. Mother of bride wore a dress, jacket/blazer, handbag she had made herself. Blue floral dress, pale blue jacket. Mother of groom wore dark blue dress and pale pink jacket/blazer. One of the other aunties had a kind of stiff lace floral dress with faux fur stole. Slight hint of bride up staging as bride made her dress which was 50s style simple classy. I wore teal velvet blazer over matching top with navy trousers.

You yesterday evening: "Not one of my European aunts would ever wear that style. It is not the wedding costume for mature women in my home country."

And: "This is absolutely not the go to in my home country."

Maybe people are 'trying to other you' as non-British because you keep stating that your 'home country' is not Britain?

Agreed.

and never in a million years would the second dress suit a larger person. That style is made for long svelte ladies

I call it the Tory Lady Mayoress look 🤣
When I was M of B, I had lovely inspiration from Pinterest. Best wishes for your day.

It really wouldn’t. I’m a tall size 20 and I’d look like a tent in that.

They’re all ugly and dated though.

This sort of style does really vary between countries. We went to a wedding in Switzerland, the bride's family were from Eastern Europe and all the women wore very sequined, very "blingy" dresses which you wouldn't see at a British wedding. I was at another wedding where the groom was Swedish and a lot of the men were in jeans and casual shirts - again you wouldn't see that here.

I googled "mother of the bride outfits in Spanish" and a lot of it was floor length gowns which may be the thing there, but would look out of place here. I am not a fan of the coat/dress look though to be fair.

Weddings in Spain can be very formal and often in the evening (due to heat). Its also common for MoG to wear black.

There was a very long running thread a while back which (despite the OP and other posters explaining it was a Spanish wedding) went full "cancel the cheque" with repeated posters disparaging the MoG black dress choice, long dress choice and generally criticising the MoG for wearing a very standard choice at a Spanish wedding. It became a cracking pre-emptive MiL hate thread.

As you say, customs vary widely between culture and country but a clutch of posters failing to read this in an OP is a certainty 😁

The second outfit would not suit a larger lady. It would look like a circus tent on her.

I don’t think either of the photos are helpful in proving your point - the first outfit isn’t at all flattering because of the cut of the unstructured ‘coat’ over and the second would be suitable for an evening event. Formal British weddings have generally not had MOTB in long dresses, nor guests come to that. More of an American custom that some have taken up here.

Depends on the general style of the wedding - the MOTB dresses offered by a specifically wedding stylist in the UK are going to be on the more dressy, formal side. There’s a whole load of customs that have built up with a formal British wedding - the MOTB being rather more formally dressed is one of them and the wearing of hats. I assume you aren’t going for morning dress and hats for the men ! However, it’s your choice entirely - if you find something more casual casual or more like a party dress , then do so.

Tailored dress and jacket combinations are popular in weddings I have been to, especially in something like a slub silk - not stiff at all, though the jacket benefits from being lined.

I had a dress as MOTB and had a pashmina at the last minute because the forecast looked dodgy - regretted it and quietly dumped it as soon as possible during the photos because it I kept fiddling with it to stop it slipping. Not such a problem when it’s slung over a coat or used to keep warm over a summer dress at an outdoor event. They are also quite dated now.

If you like the second dress you posted, I'd suggest a look at Saloni @Coranne. Some gorgeous, less traditional dresses there.

https://saloniworld.com/collections/dresses

I love this one!
https://saloniworld.com/products/michelle-dress-in-nerine-azure

And for those saying heels look dated, I'd take another look. They're everywhere again (and I, for one, am glad).

So why are you not sourcing your mob dresses from your European country that prefers bright beach dresses for weddings? Surely that's the very easy solution here

I agree OP. It is a dated and awful ‘uniform’!

Bolero jackets should be made illegal for everyone.