Why is the go to mother of bride outfit a hideous stiff coat dress with hat?

[Coranne]

No offence intended. But why do so many mother of the brides wear these horrible long coats with stiff dresses and a huge hat.

I took my mum to a wedding stylist (not cheap) and all she did was pull out outfits like the first image. I told the stylist I wanted my mum in something like the second outfit plus pashmina.

I’m British but my family is European by origin. Is it just tradition? The go to? It’s not even the most flattering. My mum is slim so I don’t get the knee jerk reaction to go for such a dated look

So confused!

Neither image is of my mum

@Ecotype It’s a discussion! No need to be so rude!

Ooh, saucer of milk, table 2!

I'm Scandinavian and find the whole Kate/Carole style utterly hideous and dated - in my country we simply put on a løpårtuk with our stadfeistar and call it good 👍.

But you are not in your home country. People in other countries do things differently. In the US if you google MOTB outfits you will find floor length dresses in pastel colours because that is their go to.

What you are saying is the equivalent to me living in India and being baffled why so many women wear saris and a lot of jewellry to weddings "Why has this taken such a hold in this country?!". That would be ignorant and racist. Think about that.

I don’t get why this has hit such a nerve.

Many people agree that the look I have described is considered the default

And many have agreed better alternatives exist

Im certainly not being racist

I think anything labelled as ‘wedding’ immediately takes a turn for the naff.
I’ll see your point about the motb outfits typically being incredibly dated, but I’ll raise you the wedding dress. Why are people still buying these absurd white confections, it absolutely baffles me.

Eh?

To be honest, I would have sacked the stylist for replacing the first woman’s head with a football. But each to their own.

I've just googled Spanish and Swedish royal weddings and there are the same horrors there. The problem in the UK is unreliable weather so I can see why some go for a dress with a jacket "just in case". I'm already thinking if I'm ever motb I'll choose a trouser and jacket combo.

Well I'm with you @Coranne. My DD is getting married and my instagram is inundated with outfits just like your examples Of course, I will make my own mind up what I wear, but I value my DD's opinion, and have actually checked she isn't expecting me to wear anything like the MOB suggestions that keep coming up. Fortunately, she isn't!

I've just googled MOTB Spain and I agree there are much nicer suggestions.

It's actually not. I feel exactly the same way (and I'm 65). I don't have kids but whenever I see photos of people at their children's weddings I inwardly cringe. It's rare to see a woman actually looking stylish - other than one of my friends, who always looks stylish but wouldn't dress like that ever (yes, she has been MOTB and MOTG in the past). It's almost like a uniform.

I see my mum in something like this. That silhouette does NOT just suit rake thin women. Statement earrings, killer heels. Job done.

I agree that it isnt a great look. I agree that it is dated. I agree that there are better options out there.

But you lumping all of us into one homogenous whole on the actions of one stylist in this country is ignorant and racist. It just is. You dont say what your home country is, and it doesnt matter, but I wonder how you would feel if I had one bad interaction with a personal shopper in your home country and then decided that all the women in your country dressed like she suggested I should. I rather think that you would be pissed off and tell me that I was wrong, and rightly so.

I’m basing it off what’s being pushed in the shops/sm

One shop and Google.

Hardly representative of an entire nations women.

“Google” 😂

Many agree on here it’s almost the default uniform for MOTB.

My lovely Mum had the most amazing MOB outfit from a charity shop. She looked amazing. She was a very unique lady and was very happy and comfortable with her choice.
We all had our school uniforms from Harrods ,for context.
She did buy a hat ,shoes and bag to complement her beautiful outfit and the stupidly cost of our wedding!!
My Mum enjoyed telling all the guests that her clothes were from a charity shop 🥰

When I go to a wedding I get up that morning and look in my wardrobe to find something I want to wear. Regardless of whose wedding and the season and how involved I am in it. I feel very alone in this method reading the thread.

They are definitely associated with an older woman ime but maybe that’s just here! Even my mum would not wear one and say “Do you think I’m that old?!”

The shop’s stock was clearly a bit dated. I’d just get a nice dress from a brand to suit your budget eg Net a Porter for higher end brands or maybe something like Phase Eight or Karen Millen if they are still around for something not so pricey. If a pashmina or hat is required, also buy them separately. Outfits like this are less matchy and more stylishly and effortlessly put together.

I was having a similar conversation with my best friend recently. She’s mid 40s and her daughter is getting married next year. She’s asked me to go dress shopping with her in the summer as she’s struggled so far to find any MOTB outfits that aren’t ageing and matronly/frumpy. Everything she’s seen so far are completely not my friend’s style at all and it’s the first of her children to get married - she’s got 4 daughters: 2 29 y/o twins (both engaged and due to get married in the next few years), a 19 y/o and a 13 y/o. She’s stressing herself out that she won’t look good and feel comfortable on the day.

I’m determined to help her find the perfect outfit but will be steering clear of some of these examples!

When I got married, it was in Greece, so the main consideration for my Mum’s outfit was that she stayed cool (mid August wedding!), felt comfortable and confident and could move freely so she could have a good dance! Also this meant no need to worry about hats, jackets etc which was handy!

We found her a lovely dress (from either John Lewis or Debenhams) and then I paid for alterations so it fit her perfectly. She looked beautiful and was really happy with how she looked. I’m so glad we found the right outfit to make that happen.

It’s a uniform many women feel comfortable with, especially in a prominent role as MOTB where they’re going to be noticed. Better that than something off the shoulder, too clingy, too short, or sparkly, all of which I regularly see at a wedding venue near me.

Rose Nyland has entered the chat.

oops, quote fail.

Rose Nyland has entered the chat.

Any chance of a pic? This sounds great.