Why is the go to mother of bride outfit a hideous stiff coat dress with hat?

[Coranne]

No offence intended. But why do so many mother of the brides wear these horrible long coats with stiff dresses and a huge hat.

I took my mum to a wedding stylist (not cheap) and all she did was pull out outfits like the first image. I told the stylist I wanted my mum in something like the second outfit plus pashmina.

I’m British but my family is European by origin. Is it just tradition? The go to? It’s not even the most flattering. My mum is slim so I don’t get the knee jerk reaction to go for such a dated look

So confused!

Neither image is of my mum

They are mostly hideous. I don't understand fascinators either.
Luckily I won't be wearing one.

Yes, we get it: you’ve made your point that you hate that style of outfit. you started your post ‘no offence’ but have done nothing but say rude things about it since, over and over.

Last time I checked the U.K. was in still in Europe, And I very much doubt that every MOB in every country Europe wears what you consider to be stylish clothing.

I don’t think the dress you picked is any nicer than the first dress. Neither would be my choice for a MOB outfit.

Your pictures on my opinion have two ugly outfits. One is formal but old fashioned the other isn't. UK weddings are traditionally formal, structured clothes are generally worn, material is chosen to make sure it doesn't crease and the mob looks consistent all day on photos. The colours are chosen to photograph well with bridal party so no patterns or bright colours. Nothing too eye catching to upfront the bride. Formal and not controversial. Something that can keep the mob both warm and can have layers of it's very warm.That is British tradition. The version of this you have pictured is old fashioned o haven't been to a wedding with a mob like that these are more like what I have seen and expect mob to wesr

https://snootyfrox.co.uk/product/rosa-clara-8g153-smoke-dress/

https://www.flormiss.co.uk/sheath-column-stretch-crepe-scoop-1-2-sleeves-knee-length-mother-of-the-bride-dress-f23m734.html

https://www.phase-eight.com/product/bridie-maxi-dress-100029745010.html?istCompanyId=c38fe7a0-ffd0-4925-94b3-cff8df449484&istFeedId=5a41320b-c741-4d1e-b90d-1091450d147c&istItemId=qipltpawm&istBid=t&cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=21783433593&cq_net=x&cq_plt=gp&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=21783433593&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwtJ6_BhDWARIsAGanmKdS_0R8k1n_-4OagiZz3ZMzEp7vR09JSSJaMgkPm8C5WU0bH1hOPz0aAtxgEALw_wcB

https://blushboutique.co.uk/product/dressed-up-by-veromia-du635g-silver-dress-with-chiffon-overlay/

https://www.veni-infantino.com/blogs/occasionwear/modern-mother-of-the-bride-dresses

Your sleeveless option is not formal, it could be worn on a beach, do you come from a warmer climate? The mob

And your selections are examples of outfits I consider frumpy and matronly 🤷

i would hope that when my dd get married they trust my judgement and dont take me to a stylist.

https://www.janeatelier.com/collections/new-in?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwtJ6_BhDWARIsAGanmKeQSZteGJ0FR_HTWIKEC2UmrSEFV8eLzgPrzrX5cs5Oy5dy0XxfihsaAm62EALw_wcB
Jane Atelier has worked very well for me.The wool crepe sits beautifully and doesn't have the horrible shiny effect and texture.
I'm petite and the tunic styles in particular work really well for me and are also very wearable.
It's such a shame to buy an outfit you'll never wear again and the typical mob styles are just not wearable.

A ‘Mother of the Bride’ outfit suggests something specific- formal, substantial and involving a hat. Often chosen to flatter/disguise the matronly figure that creeps on lots of women with age.

If you want a stunning dress for a wedding, ask for that- not a MoB outfit!

If you have such an eye for this kind of thing, I’m not sure why a stylist or Mumsnet thread is needed. My mum is very stylish and knows how to dress herself body shape and complexion better than anyone and she dressed herself for my wedding and my sister’s very different one. She looked fabulous and striking (without upstaging through her cut/colour/print choices). I was told a handful of times how incredible she looked too. We went with her to choose but just for fun - she doesn’t need advice. We take it from her!

Did you ask the stylist what dresses she had and what kind of attire you were looking for?

I like all bar 1 of snooty’s suggestions, and completely agree with her breakdown of what’s looked for in an MoB outfit.

You don’t have to wear an MoB even if you are the MoB, but there’s a reason for them!

The Queen chose her style so she could be seen as a petite woman in among dramatic backdrops. Solid colour and shapes, which will last the day without mishap.

MoB need similar, though they can get away with pattern.

You’ve slated some lovely dresses and the ones you have put on look cheap and horrible 😂🙈 maybe do go with the stylist she’ll help you out. Or do your own thing and don’t come on the internet being rude, obnoxious, purposely trying to cause a rift about British women’s style and European women. Or are you on the spectrum and can’t see how your posts come across as

The mother of the bride isn’t supposed to outshine the bride. The OP seems to want to make it all about her mother.

This is a lovely dress for a bbq or a summer get-together in my opinion. If your wedding is more that style - e.g. bride is wearing a similarly floaty dress rather than structured traditional bridal gown; groom is wearing casual suit or even less formal; you’re on the beach or in a casual garden setting; the meal is a buffet or similar - then this floaty summer dress would be perfect. The traditional British wedding is a more formal affair and therefore the traditional British MOTB clothing is more structured and formal too. You’ve had the explanation and the example of the Middleton’s, which you seemed to accept, but then you’ve gone on arguing. As weddings have become less formal, lots of MOTB have moved to wear things they’re more comfortable in and therefore you don’t need a “MOTB” traditional outfit. You don’t want a traditional British formal wedding outfit so don’t look for one - easy! When/if I get to that stage, I will choose my outfit based on what will best suit the style of the wedding I’m a part of, balanced with what I feel comfortable in.

The nice thing about society today is that we actually aren’t beholden to traditions anymore. But I think the previous posters who pointed out that you wouldn’t say this about henna tattoos, saris and gold jewellery in Indian weddings have a point - think twice about being so disrespectful of other people’s traditions.

The “lovely dresses” that have been shared.

Thankfully we have different tastes.

I still don’t get why some people think unflattering structured dress with a hat thrown on = formal/mob attire

I just don’t get your problem OP. There’s a traditional mother of the brides outfit- like there is with many traditional attires. I’m guessing not many people wear it, as there’s other shops and choices and you can wear whatever the you want whenever you want. There are so many shops selling so many dresses. Buy what you want, no one’s forcing you to buy a dress.

You can go to a ball and if you were to walk into a shop selling ball gowns you would get Cinderella type dresses but you don’t have to buy it. You could go to phase 8 and buy whatever you want.

Your post is weird. It’s just a rant, it’s bizzare.

Heres the grown up answer… message your sisters in a what’s app group and say ugh those dresses weren’t nice , let’s try other dresses from different shops. And then do so. Are you worried people will look at your mother and judge her that she’s not wearing the correct outfit in your perception?

Oh and in he got photo above the only bad dress is the top right blue one. The rest would look banging with hair and make up and heels. So god knows what your point is

if you are british then you are european

As others have said, it’s the female version of the morning suit. I really hate morning suits too.

The answer is to steer well clear of bridal shops or wedding stylists.

whatever the month you cannot guarantee sunshine for a wedding, so some form of jacket is required

Because it’s a way to get them to spend £££s on something they will never wear again. It’s just capitalism mixed in with the social pressures on women to look a certain way -a way which ultimately means them spending more - I agree with you 💯

I think they are just more traditional formal mother of the bride outfits. They are very similar to what the royals wear.

The dress you posted is more of a summer dress in my opinion, it’s dressed up with heels and a bag in the picture but I could see it paired with sandals and a tan on a summer evening out for a low key dinner. Where as the first outfit would look way to OTT paired down. It’s formal.

Although I think the OP could have been less confrontational I do tend to agree with her. I live in a rural backwater and MOBs and MOGs outfits tend to be the outfits she describes. They cost £££s then appear on Vinted for £50 less than their original selling price, with the ‘worn once and got loads of compliments’ tag line.

Of course some women look fabulous in gorgeous outfits but most follow the party line, possibly through lack of confidence or the simple fact that, around here, it’s almost mandatory to go to the MOB outfit shop and get the whole lot - dress, hat, shoes and handbag. Sad really.

I think your view of frumpy might be out of kilter with lots of others. It seems like actually you just want something less structured and a bit more informal judging by the dress you posted.

What I would say though is I remember when my mum was looking for MOB outfits (and she went for one of the traditional ones), a lot of
the brands were actually Italian or Spanish.

The other thing to bear in mind is the formality of the men and what they’ll be wearing. If you’ve got them in morning suits you probably don’t want to go to informal for your mum. If they’re in a slightly more casual set-up, you can then match accordingly.

Good for you. You certainly don’t speak for everyone and your opinion is worth no more than anyone else’s.

Mine would never have attempted it. But then she’s always admired my taste.

Because it’s the traditional female formal morning wear in England so was the default outfit for the middle and aristocratic classes in the 20th century. Women wore hats almost always and especially on formal occasions and ALWAYS in church. Weddings are often in summer (never during Lent so late April onwards) so a short sleeved dress is in order but a jacket or coat is needed in church. You will notice our dear late Queen was often dressed thus on daytime engagements, but not in the evening or when not “working”. It is what ladies if a certain age and class wore when “an outfit” was required for a daytime occasion. Killer heels is decidedly not what women of a certain age and class would wear to a religious service. Buying a new frock for every occasion is relatively recent so in the past when invited to a wedding people put their formal outfit and trotted along. Some people think it’s rude to wear bright, patterned or distracting outfits to weddings as it draws the eye on photographs. It’s not something I’ve seen much since the early naughties as it fell out of fashion as women my mothers generation (I was married in 2001) didn’t want to dress like their own mothers. I’m not part of the aristocratic classes and not very English either but I do go to a lot of weddings and I definitely saw this a lot 25-35 years ago. My guess is someone making a living selling specific MOTB is guessing their clientele is aspirational (want to dress like the Carol Middleton) and not especially clued up on fashion (or they would just go and buy something).