Why is the go to mother of bride outfit a hideous stiff coat dress with hat?

[Coranne]

No offence intended. But why do so many mother of the brides wear these horrible long coats with stiff dresses and a huge hat.

I took my mum to a wedding stylist (not cheap) and all she did was pull out outfits like the first image. I told the stylist I wanted my mum in something like the second outfit plus pashmina.

I’m British but my family is European by origin. Is it just tradition? The go to? It’s not even the most flattering. My mum is slim so I don’t get the knee jerk reaction to go for such a dated look

So confused!

Neither image is of my mum

Yes, yes they are. They like different styles of clothes too 😉

I just googled MOTB dresses, nothing like the first picture came up. There are some fabulous dresses and outfits out there. I didn't wear anything like that dress and jacket to either of my children's weddings, and none of my friends did either. So, it's not a British thing, and we are just as stylish as any one else!

I haven’t disagreed. I’ve asked why the hat, coat and dress look is pushed given it’s not even flattering? That is all. A lot of defensive people for no reason imo.

On an incognito tab with cache cleared. IMO those are frumpy dresses.

Ditch the stylist and do your own thing. When my mum was MOB at a summer wedding she wore a beautiful slim fitted yellow dress and she looked, and felt, incredible.

I don't understand why you'd go to a stylist when you have such a clear idea of what you do and don't want. You don't need a stylist if you know what you want. Also the idea of you dressing your mum up is weird to me but as long as she's on board with that it's your circus I guess

This seems a weird post.

You seem to be dragging British people down and saying we’re not stylish.

You can literally order any dress for your mother you so wish. Everyone where’s different outfits . The reason the specific wedding shop had these outfits is that’s what they stock and are seen as traditional (although I don’t think many wear them) , normal dresses like your second photo can be bought anywhere.

I was early 40s when my DD married and I wore a beautiful summer dress with light shawl. Not what I picture as MOTB dress, but I asked for help in the fancy store as I didn't have a clue and aren't confident with that sort of thing. That's what they suggested and they should know. There's no need to wear the frumpy stuff. I'd want to be at least 20 years older to even consider some of those dresses.

All of a sudden it’s weird for daughters to shop with their mum for the perfect outfit. Ok.

My mum does have a say btw

I'm not being defensive, I don't like the traditional motb look myself. But I did find your comment about people being different ironic!

A wedding tradition may seem odd or outdated to one group of people but completely normal to another.

I think as a previous poster said, the issue is probably more with the stylist not listening to your brief.

A bolero jacket is the ultimate awful jacket that’s sold with shift dresses. Really should be avoided. Some women like overblown glamorous and others are quietly stylish. There are very decent London shops and designers for this type of occasion. Lalage Beaumont has traditional clothes in expensive fabrics. Self portrait and Rixo are good shouts too. Depends on what style suits mum.

OP just stop googling motb dresses and talking to wedding stylists. A motb can wear anything- it doesn’t have to be labelled motb.

To be fair you’ve picked two especially fugly outfits. The first more granny of the bride, and the second, nice for a formal evening event but not particularly weddingy.

Most MOB in the UK will be hedging their bets weather wise, so layered outfits are a good choice. There was a good choice of smart, chic outfits when I was shopping for DS’s wedding and I was very with the sleeveless shift dress with short jacket combo I chose.

Where I do agree with you, is that if you are fifty and short, a midi dress is never going to do you any favours.

My Mum has worn lovely dresses to all our weddings and wouldn't be seen dead in something that frumpy.

I also think some of it is a hangover from when men all wore morning suits- dress + coat is a way of approximating the same level of formality without looking like you’re wearing an evening dress (see for example the Middletons here). But these days most men don’t wear morning suits.

Ok that makes sense!

I am so glad my MoG outfit was from a British Designer having read the op's comments. I'll find the Web picture of it if I can, the op will hate it but I've worn the tunic several times since with trousers and the frock for a few black tie dinners. I'm a great supporter of rewearing.

Oh the image doesn’t show up, but google the middletons at the royal wedding. Classic example of the look op is talking about but done well. CM would have looked too informal without the coat.

I've been both a mother of bride and groom in the past ten years, so have my siblings and many friends. Not one of us has worn a stereotypical outfit like that, neither did my own mother when I married 35 years ago.

I wore a longish dress and silk jacket for one, black palazzo trousers, tunic and jacket for the other. I did wear huge hats for both because I suit them, love them and a wedding is the only opportunity I get to wear them.

I chose my outfits myself, I would have absolutely refused to go to a "wedding stylist". I did show both my son and daughter what I intended to wear and they were both happy, but they would never have tried to tell me what to wear. I also did my own make up and hair because I wanted to feel like myself.

They do at the weddings we go to. I think CM's outfit there is great but I'd never have worn something like that again.

It didn't come across like that. It came across that you were choosing her outfit like you'd choose a flower girl dress:

I want my mum in something phenomenal

I think it's the perfect thing to wear

I want her looking phenomenal

It didn't sound like she was getting to choose, it sounded like she was an accessory.

Yeah, we're the problem, being oh so defensive. Nothing to do with your critical tone and lumping all british women together in to one unstylish group.

My mum wore a geogeous tailored trousers suit in a lovely bright colour. Mil was a bit sniffy but I loved it.

Many smart weddings are morning suit. Then you wear something like CM wore. A neat dress and matching coat are never going to be wrong unless it’s a Caribbean beach. So many women look at these shops but end up buying overpriced polyester. There’s way better designers than stocked by these shops.

Well that is good to hear - I love a morning suit and 25y ago (when I got married) they were the norm but I’d assumed they were now less popular.

I think CM has prioritised looking appropriate over looking interesting, and who can blame her? High pressure occasion.