To be sick of the Mother's day obsession

[arcticpandas]

So many mums seem to just have lost it when it comes to Mother's Day. One who is upset with teacher not making something in school for her dc to give her, another who is angry her husband doesn't drive her 13 year old to pick up a sewing machine she wanted for Mother's Day, and one angry with partner for not getting her a card even though she's not his mother and they don't even have dc together. And then we got the Mil-Dil race, who is supposed to be the most worthy of spending the day with son/dh. And one mum who is jealous her Dil doesn't plan for her as she does for her own mother.

The world has gone crazy. What's up with all these entitled grown up women who happen to be mothers? Don't you know that Mother's Day is just for commercial reasons and has nothing to do with the love your child has for you?

I'm happy with a drawing/a card/ whatever any day. We don't do Mother's Day because I'm a mum every day and what I give I get back in hugs, drawings, or as a week ago when my ds 11 had stopped at the shops on his way home just to get me a tablet of my favourite chocolate. That made me happy to tears because he did it because he wanted to make me happy. Not because he felt obliged because of "Mother's Day" or whatever.

I just feel that people are not seeing the bigger picture getting so focussed on one day. If your children and partner make you feel loved and valued in general you don't need a special day for it. If that's not the case maybe that's the reason you're obsessing over this day while you have way bigger fish to fry. Because complaining about not getting this or that or being jealous of mil/dil just make you seem very entitled, immature and not happy with your life in general.

Wait until tomorrow when it will be the ones moaning about the gift they did get 😆😆

It’s become a great circus. I would love a hug from my kids. I don’t judge how much I’m loved by how much money is spent on me for this one day.

I expect a large percentage don’t feel loved and appreciated for the rest of the year, so it hurts even more when the day that should be about them, isn’t. I don’t know.

I do agree that all of these occasions are a money making scheme - Valentine’s Day too.

Someone recently posted that their OH made them feel special on their birthday and went through a lot of effort but was upset because they hadn’t posted a declaration on FB. So some people just can’t win.

Also true haha. Can’t bloody win.

The worst types are those who competitively announce how little they require from their children 🙄 . Who cares? Just celebrate it how you want.

It is ridiculous. I enjoy the cute little cards and stuff they make, and when my mum was alive I would always send flowers if I couldn't see her for lunch or something, but I can't understand the expectations that some people heap onto their partners and families.

It’s absolutely ridiculous! The number of people on the school run who asked what we had planned for Mother’s Day was insane!!

Like I say about Valentines Day it’s a load of commercial bollocks.

Surely it should be about showing love and appreciation throughout the year rather than one designated day.

Totally promoted by companies who want to make more money from commercial crap that will end up in landfill.

Makes me so annoyed!

It's nixe to have an opportunity to thank and appreciate your mother and be appreciated. It's a christian event not commerical in the UK at least.

But yes it is ridiculous how much energy people put into worrying about it. It has become very commercial. I don't need a gift or even a card. Every morning when my DD Comes into bed with me for a cuddle is special.

Don't you know that Mother's Day is just for commercial reasons and has nothing to do with the love your child has for you?

I assume you’re American if this is your view? Mothering Sunday has a long history it the UK, nothing to do with commercialism at all.

I hate posts like this. Just because you want to martyr yourself on Mother’s Day doesn’t mean others have to do the same. If you’re happy with a bit of coal good for you!
Equally, I hate the posts moaning about the selfish brats who couldn’t be arsed to get their mother a bit of card. You raised them to be like that! You allowed them to treat you like a doormat and now you’re reaping the rewards. Same with the sad posts acting surprised about generally useless husbands being useless at Mother’s Day every year. Stand up for yourselves for the love of god!

If Mother’s Day is important to you then make sure your family know that. And if they fuck it up then let them know rather than silently crying in the toilet and telling mumsnet all about it. Otherwise it will be the same every single year.

If it’s not important to you then stfu and get on with your day.

Fundamentally i agree that people who really obsess about this one day, probably have bigger issues. Ie they are feeling under appreciated/unloved day in day out and so need this to make them feel special.

But to a certain extent, I think social media has exacerbated an issue. I think there is also now an added element of jealousy of seeing what others have got. Or disappointed and not having anything boast-worthy to post about.

I agree with the OP. Mothering Sunday, to be celebrated on each fourth Sunday in Lent, has evolved from being a simple cultural Christian event celebrated in churches, to the more commercialised 'Mothers' Day'. There's no money in Mothering Sunday but loads to be had from Mothers' Day. The history of Mothering Sunday . My old church used to give a small bunch of daffs to all the women in church on the day.

Well do we really need a thread on top of them all then further sanctimoniously complaining about the world “going mad”. Is there not enough of that in the actual threads? Yes you’re all better people because you don’t give a fig for commercialism and you don’t care at all about the day like the other plebs etc etc. Round of applause.

It's historically about returning to your Mother Church anyway and whilst you are there you might visit your family. So cultrally Christian but not exactly in the bible. I think also (thanks google) it's linked to Mary mother of Jesus? We always used to go to church and all the women, mothers or not, would get a pot of flowers. I can't remember doing much else!

I like it as a mother because I think that mothers don't always get enough credit as it's dismissed as women doing women stuff. But it has definitely, like everything, become more commercialised and more about spending money and expecting things. I do think days like this just seem to exacerbate tensions or fault lines in relationships and it's mainly people pissed off with their partners or husbands and not much to do with mothers! So, depressingly, what should be a celebration of women becomes about our expectations of men!

To me, it is a (very lovely) day in the Church Year.

Two things can be true though. You can feel loved and appreciated, and also want to feel special or whatever on Mother’s Day.

I personally don’t give a shit about it, but I’m not keen on this ‘I am happy with dogshit in a card because I love being a mummy every day martyr nonsense.

I really wanted an afternoon tea box made by a lady in my village so I ordered myself one.

Anything I get from the kids tomorrow is a bonus.

I’m NC with my mum.

I don’t put pressure on myself or anyone else.

Absolutely correct 👏👏

Completely with you on this OP. I’d hate to feel so unappreciated day to day that one arbitrary and over priced day meant so much

Oh no, I didn't think about this !🤣

I enjoy it because my kids get really excited about it! Can't say we do anything big they give me their homemade cards and I get brought a cup of tea in bed.

You can enjoy it without it being about expensive presents, expensive lunches etc.

My mum appreciates a card and a message from the kids (we live a distance away)

Completely agree. When did it even become about presents? Or this bizarre idea of partners being expected to buy cards on behalf of babies too young to comprehend? It's all really odd.

Actually specifically in the US Mother’s Day was founded originally with the idea that it would foster peace and be for the forgotten labour of the female half of the country. It was not, originally, merely a commercial institution. Capitalism may commercialize everything but that doesn’t make the original goal behind mother’s day commercial.

I'm cleaning my oven tomorrow and a deep clean of three bathrooms , I totally can't wait , I think my ds 6 will present me with a card from school and that's totally cool with me.

I think there’s a lot of people who doth protest too much. Oh everyone making such a big deal about it, I don’t do commercialised days that are all about consumerism (read: my partner is a selfish twat and wouldn’t buy me a card anyway).

My dc and Dh are lovely and appreciate me every day. They’ve taken especially good care of me this year because I’ve been ill with cancer. Dh and one dc aren’t even home tomorrow (big regional sports competition for dc), so it’s just me and littlest dc. I know they still have small things planned (cards, treats, maybe a bottle of AF fizz). Dc are very excited to give it to me and have been talking about it all week. It’s really nice to have a special day and have people acknowledge you. I don’t expect a fancy meal out or big presents (in fact, dc and I are going to the beach and lunch is cold hot dogs 🤣). But it’s nice to have them do something special even when they are lovely (most of) every other day anyway.

I can’t get worked up over other people’s desperation or trying to downplay how much it actually bothers them that no one will do anything for them.