To be sick of the Mother's day obsession

[arcticpandas]

So many mums seem to just have lost it when it comes to Mother's Day. One who is upset with teacher not making something in school for her dc to give her, another who is angry her husband doesn't drive her 13 year old to pick up a sewing machine she wanted for Mother's Day, and one angry with partner for not getting her a card even though she's not his mother and they don't even have dc together. And then we got the Mil-Dil race, who is supposed to be the most worthy of spending the day with son/dh. And one mum who is jealous her Dil doesn't plan for her as she does for her own mother.

The world has gone crazy. What's up with all these entitled grown up women who happen to be mothers? Don't you know that Mother's Day is just for commercial reasons and has nothing to do with the love your child has for you?

I'm happy with a drawing/a card/ whatever any day. We don't do Mother's Day because I'm a mum every day and what I give I get back in hugs, drawings, or as a week ago when my ds 11 had stopped at the shops on his way home just to get me a tablet of my favourite chocolate. That made me happy to tears because he did it because he wanted to make me happy. Not because he felt obliged because of "Mother's Day" or whatever.

I just feel that people are not seeing the bigger picture getting so focussed on one day. If your children and partner make you feel loved and valued in general you don't need a special day for it. If that's not the case maybe that's the reason you're obsessing over this day while you have way bigger fish to fry. Because complaining about not getting this or that or being jealous of mil/dil just make you seem very entitled, immature and not happy with your life in general.

Mother’s Day was never commercial, it started as a religious day

I don’t expect anything but it is lovely to have a little handmade card (mine are toddlers) and some lovely hugs and ‘love you mummy’ and spending the day together. Nursery gave all the mums a bunch of daffs yesterday and church usually give you a little flower plant, it’s very sweet.

It's important to some people. And that's ok.

It's not important to some people. And that's ok.

Posts like this are nonsense.
Falling over yourselves to declare how happy you are with nothing. Martyrs.

Well this is lovely ! Because your children enjoy it and you seem to appreciate lovely little gestures from your children instead of being angry with teacher/dh/children/the world for not making it to a stressful event for everyone involved. Enjoy your tea in bed 💗.

Yes. Performative mothering martyrdom really is incredibly dull.

Probably because mothers feel radically under appreciated.

Yeap - a religious day celebrating going to your "mother" church, which hardly anyone does now. It has just been appropriated by pubs and card makers as a way to make profit.

I'm not religious.

I didn't get my mother a card, I don't expect my kids to get me a card.

Sorted.

I actually expect more than some: I want to feel loved the whole year and I love a gift when it comes from the heart of the giver. And I am happy whenever my dc give me cards/drawings. I just don't want them to feel it's an obligation just because there is a day called mother's day even though they mostly do give me something thanks to school or Mil baking something with them.

I remember one year my FIL said to my DH “Happy Mothers Day DH name” DH actually said “Yeahhhh Happy Mothers Day dad.”
PATH-E-TIC! (That’s me being annoying and sarcastic).

DH mum died years ago when he was 39. One year when DC were little DH said “I don’t have a mum so I don’t see why you should get to celebrate it either.” I got nothing from DC ever until we moved to be near my mum and she’d get cards with DC to give to me

I think you're on to something here. But can one day make up for this? Isn't it doomed to fail when so much expectations and underlying resentment has to be packed in to one day?

OP's post doesn't have a whiff of martyrdom! She says she has an amazing relationship with her children all year round and doesn't want or need a 'performance' on one day. You sound bitter and jealous of her relationship with her son.

Every day is mothers day if you have kids.
However every day for me is about me me me and me because i dont have kids.

Is this meant to be funny? What a knob! I mean there is a difference between over expecting and a race to the bottom..

entitled grown up women who happen to be mothers

I think YABU here. “Just happen” to be mothers as if it’s a small, incidental thing. We planned for our kids, they were much wanted, I spent 9 months being pregnant multiple times and had hyperermesis gravidarum each time, gave birth with varying degrees of complication, then raised my children with a huge amount of energy, focus and care. It’s the hardest and most wonderful thing and I am delighted with the gifts and recognition I receive each year. Very happy. ‘Entitled’ seems to get bandied round on here for anyone who doesn’t stand for being walked all over and treated like an unappreciated skivvy.

But honestly. What is it to you? Some people want to make a fuss, some people don’t - why on earth are you sick of people who want to make a fuss? How does it affect you? My kids (through my husband) have bought me a bottle of Prosecco and some chocolates that I like - costs £10 in total. Of course I feel loved by them all year round - but for one day where they do me a card each and wrap my Prosecco in newspaper as the forgot to buy wrapping paper? What wrong with that. It’s not a race to the bottom you know.

Was coming to say the same thing. Mother’s Day (Mothering Sunday) has been a very long established celebration in the UK and Ireland, as with Christmas and Easter it’s a religious celebration. I remember learning about it at primary school in the 70s, the common gift was a bunch of flowers, for me and most of my friends we’d get our mothers a homemade card and a bunch of daffodils for 10p. If we were lucky we’d be able to pick them.

But agree people have gone absolutely crazy over it, same as grown people complaining about the fuss they don’t get for birthdays and Christmas.

Sorry, but what a horrible thing to say.

If anything, it’s all the more reason to celebrate!

I lost my mum when I was 10 so I find it quite a sad day tbh.
I do have children, they’ll buy me a small gift but we don’t really celebrate.

As per pp I think some of it (as a lot of other things these days) is because of social media. Same with Easter, it’s become the new Christmas!

I'm loving the Mother's Day threads!

They're hilarious in a way that can only be found on MN.

I can't wait for tomorrow! I'm sure MN won't let me down!

Totally with you here. It’s my first Mothering Sunday tomorrow, and my NCT group has been non stop on the ‘I’ve hinted to Tom about this necklace’ or ‘I’ve told Ed I’m going for a spa day with my sister and he will just have to suck it up’. I have genuinely come to wonder if it’s because they don’t get the support from their husbands day to day? Granted, I’ve only been at this mothering lark for a year, but my husband works at home full time, and is very hands on and intuitive, so I’m lucky! I’m looking forward to tomorrow, but we’ve not got grand plans as I just don’t feel the obsession! It’s just become another commercial thing to brag about or bitch about when it doesn’t go your way!

I agree. I expect nothing more than a card and some chocolate which if no one genuinely has time to get I don't mind getting. My mum gets the same and we take her for a coffee and she's very grateful.

Fathers's day same for DH.

Valentine's day same plus takeaway.

The whole thing is ridiculous. It’s not like the kids are paying for all the things these entitled mothers seem to want anyway. I see a lot of people also treating it as an excuse to get smashed as well, which I find odd.
I also don’t get why it’s become so much more of a bigger deal than Father’s Day either. To be fair DH isn’t that bothered by Father’s Day and is usually just hoping for nice weather so he can do a bbq.

That's awful. What a spiteful man.

Did you bother with Father's Day?

It’s just become another commercial thing to brag about or bitch about when it doesn’t go your way!

That's what makes it so perfect for MN / Social Media. I think a lot of mums just want pictures for Facebok to show how 'blessed' they are.

There'll.be lots of cringeworthy humble bragging tomorrow. Tragically some women will be deprived of their right to show off on social.media. Poor things.

I’ve become so insecure about the presents I get my parents.

i don’t earn a lot of money. I wish I had more and could give them more, but I can’t. For my mum’s gift this year I’ve got her a lovely loccitane gift set, some aromatherapy shower steamers and a garden ornament. I thought this was nice, but I know that it’s not enough