No wedding invite for my

[Wonderworld25]

So I've been with my partner for almost 10 years and we have lived together the dull duration of that time. We have 3 children together and are in a very secure and content relationship. His best friend whom I know is getting married and only my partner has recieved an invite to the wedding with his name on it. There is no mention of me apart from a verbal conversation convo with them where his friend said that I'm allowed to come for the evening, but still no official invite for the evening. I have not mentioned anything to my SO. Yet. As time has gone on, I feel a little disappointed in my partner for accepting the invite for himself only for the ceremony without his SO joining him. I totally understand its their day and i am trying to see it from their perspective on cost etc, howver I personally feel that my partner should of stood up for me considering we are in a very long term relationship. I will add that I have met his friend and partner a few times and have been out together as a couple twice however I don't have their contacts as my friends and I appreciate it is my partners friend. How would other people feel about this and what would you say to your OH without sounding like a crank 🤔

😂 his brother is his best man. That's not relevant at all 🤦🏼‍♀️

Many years ago, DH was invited to the meal of a wedding; our DDs and I were invited in the evening only. DH had been part of their church ceremony and I had sat on the church balcony (church services are open to anyone) and been part of seeing them get married. I wasn't in the least offended that our DDs and I only had evening invites. The evening is the fun part - no hanging around whilst photos are taken, no speeches, no polite chat with people you don't know at a meal that takes forever; instead the evening is a ceilidh where everyone relaxes and lets their hair down.
Edited to add that we had paid one of the happy couple to teach one of our DDs in a particular skill so they knew our DDs.

Agree. Apparently it’s the dp’s best friend, surely his partner should be invited? Is he not best man?

Another thing “not relevant”

but maybe is

So he knows you’re very keen to get married after a decade and three children together

and he says….?

Yes, I would agree. Perhaps you need to talk to him again about this? It's probably why this is making you so unhappy.

Nothing you can do imo but I think this is super rude . My partner would not go without me and I wouldn’t go without him but if he didn’t contemplate this then I don’t think it’s fair to ask him that either .

The world works with people having free will to choose how they want to celebrate their marriage and who they want to invite to their wedding. People socialise differently- some couples only hang out with other couples. But plenty have separate friends ( and take turns to look after the kids) and socialise separately.

im surprised at some of these responses tbh. Usually on mumsnet, if someone is complaining about not being invited to the wedding of their best friend or sibling, there’s a massive pile on and everyone tells them how entitled they are. But here we have someone who has met the couple twice complaining!

I think it’s very self involved to think the lack of an invitation is a comment on the value of your relationship. Very main character!

it’s not your wedding, OP. Leave them be. If you get married one day, you might realise what a dilemma it can be trying to decide on a guest list.

I’m guessing you don’t live local to one another if your partner sees his best mate twice a year for a birthday night out?

Well each to their own.

OP has no idea if partners or spouses of other friends have been invited.

Exactly @CantStopMoving

I know in an ideal world, you’d invite a couple, but there are a lot of valid reasons why someone wouldn’t

I think OP would actually have a valid point if she was the only partner from a close friendship group not invited. But that isn’t the case at all.

one of the first rules of good etiquette is to never to point out other people’s poor etiquette!

So your husband sees his “best mate” twice a year just for birthday celebration

You have socialised with the couple twice in a decade

this is barely an acquaintance

and the root of your entire OP is that YOUR want to get married but your DP doesn’t want to get married and you’re pissed off and hurt.

A bit odd I suppose, but YABVU to expect your partner to ‘stand up’ for you. What do you want, for him to demand a plus one invite?