No wedding invite for my

[Wonderworld25]

So I've been with my partner for almost 10 years and we have lived together the dull duration of that time. We have 3 children together and are in a very secure and content relationship. His best friend whom I know is getting married and only my partner has recieved an invite to the wedding with his name on it. There is no mention of me apart from a verbal conversation convo with them where his friend said that I'm allowed to come for the evening, but still no official invite for the evening. I have not mentioned anything to my SO. Yet. As time has gone on, I feel a little disappointed in my partner for accepting the invite for himself only for the ceremony without his SO joining him. I totally understand its their day and i am trying to see it from their perspective on cost etc, howver I personally feel that my partner should of stood up for me considering we are in a very long term relationship. I will add that I have met his friend and partner a few times and have been out together as a couple twice however I don't have their contacts as my friends and I appreciate it is my partners friend. How would other people feel about this and what would you say to your OH without sounding like a crank 🤔

They’re not ‘snubbing’ her, they’re just not inviting someone they’ve met only a handful of times!

OP are you married ? Not clear if you are.

You’ve not answered posters’ Qs about the size of the wedding.

If I'd only met my husband's friend a couple of times over ten years, I wouldn't be remotely bothered not to be invited. Nor would I expect my husband to be annoyed on my behalf.

I really don't understand the posters who think it terrible.

You don't.

Same thing has happened to me and I posted on here, my partner has been invited to a wedding and I've not been invited as a plus one, I was disappointed and my partner was very blasé about it too

Doesn’t matter if they’d never met her. They’ve lived together for 10 years, and have three children! They’re a committed couple. Why does the absence of a marriage certificate make her less important? She is definitely his significant other. Not only is it snubbing, it’s bad manners. My OH would never accept an invitation like that. Either we both go to the wedding, or just the evening do, if cost is an issue to the couple. That half and half invitation is an insult.

More than a friend ! Been together ten years, three children fgs! I’d be very hurt, especially so if my OH went without me.

On a personal level, I wouldn't invite someone to my wedding who I knew had a long-term partner, they not only lived but had children with, and not invite the partner. To me, it's rude. Children I understand, not inviting, as let's be honest most would be bored. If they weren't in a position to invite you both to the ceremony, then they should have given an evening invite to you both. After all you are a couple, and should have been invited as so. As it stands, you have a choice, you either attend the evening reception (I assume your husband will be attending this later, after the ceremony) or you don't go, and leave him to attend both on his own. Yes, you have every right to be upset, but ultimately you can't change anything. It's not your partner's fault, and if he wants to attend the ceremony, then he should do.

Hmm, if it was me I guess I might feel slighted if other partners were invited.

However if they invited a particular "friend group" but without partners/kids then I wouldn't mind that. As it's the difference between (say) 5 people or 20 people.

I think weddings are so expensive, plus people marry later so have more friends and acquaintances, and they all have partners and kids, so you can end up with potentially loads more people than you can really invite.

I quote... "How would other people feel about this and what would you say to your OH without sounding like a crank 🤔"

I'm quite clearly asking for others people views on this particular relationship issue and how I can discuss this with him without sounding silly. The fact that everyone seems to be skimming past this and choosing to attack me speaks volumes. I highly doubt alot of people on this thread would say these things in such a heartless manner in a face to face setting.

I'm currently asking myself the same questions believe me.

How did you navigate it?

Big wedding, over 100 to the daytime and 150 to the evening. So I've heard

It’s expected because it’s quite common for wedding invitations to include both the friend of the bride/groom and their partner.

Has he had much interaction with your friends?

Why is that relevant? They have three children and been together 10 years

Does that matter?

Coming from someone who planned a wedding within the last year, we had to make some really tough cuts and decisions with regards to our guest list due to the fact the venue only had room for a certain amount and we both have multiple siblings who all have multiple children. This meant the number of spaces we had reserved for friends was very small.

You’re in your right to feel a little hurt but don’t take it personally or take it out on your partner.

Yes, and my friends weddings have had both of our names on there as we are a long term couple/family so I just presumed that was the norm. I couldn't of imagined receiving an invite to a wedding without him on there, quite ironic considering it's meant to be a day of love and joining together and should be shared with partners.

I feel a little disappointed in my partner for accepting the invite for himself only for the ceremony without his SO joining him.

Bit mad to feel disappointed in your DP. He's been invited to his best friend's wedding, of course he's gonna accept the invite and not make it a point of principle to only go if you get an invite. Whether his friends don't like you or think you don't like them or just want him there for whatever reason doesn't alter the fact that he'd go to his best friend's wedding. Don't make this some weird test of your relationship. They're his friends, you haven't even had a wedding so don't set that much store by them, and it'll probably be boring anyway so let him go the same way he'd go to any number of friend's events without you and you do your own thing.

Thank you. I don't expect an invite for our children as we wouldn't of been able to enjoy ourselves fully. And as I said it's their day and I respect that but can't help a little disappointed. Only human after all ☺️

quite ironic considering it's meant to be a day of love and joining together and should be shared with partners.

Hmm, you're adding the 'should be shared with partners' on there for your own ends. There's nothing specific about one couple getting married that means it should be shared with other people's partners. And if you're so into this big important meaning of weddings, you'd be married yourself, but you're not and that's fine but then don't get all intense about needing to be at other weddings.

Total agree.

It's become style over substance in many cases.

Are other friends from the group getting plus ones, or not?