Parents asking for money

[Throughitall]

I pay my parents mortgage as they got to mortgage renewal and couldn’t afford it due to being retired. I took the house over and pay interest only. They agreed to pay living expenses. My brothers chose not to get involved or suggested to spilt the interest but I take the mortgage out in my name but avoided that as it would get complicated. Now five years later parents want me to pay 100£ of their living expenses per month. I don’t have it. I suggested selling the house and they can have the equity in it which I got (to cover the mortgage interest). It won’t last long but not sure what to do. They just turned 70. I simply don’t have it. They haven’t asked my brothers who are extremely well off. One lives in Hong Kong. The first time my mother called and I said I was experiencing lots of costs due to a move and gap in jobs which has been somewhat stressful. Large costs happened close together eg laptop broke, pipe bursts, medical costs, roof costs. My DP pays my rent at the moment. I said I can’t help. 2 weeks later my father called asking again. In May they are going to Hong Kong then Singapore for 2 weeks to visit my bother and my nephews. Paid for by my brother. AIBU to think this is strange behaviour. My father said it’s been sleepless nights. I also said same my side. They said my job should pay enough. My house that I own is also rented out but the rent doesn’t cover the mortgage and expenses. They said I’m renting out my house now so should have funds. I was told to politely send a message to my mother again saying I can’t pay.

I see what you mean.

Unfortunately I have the worst of both worlds as my English DP is not from a culture where parents made sacrifices to ensure and set him up for success but his “D”F has
made his sons pay his mortgage, is always grousing about not having enough money and expects to be looked after financially in his old age because he is financially reckless and also shameless.

Absolutely not! This is unfair on you.

If you took the mortgage out in your name, do you now own the house?
I don't think you'd be able to take a mortgage out on a property you don't actually own.
If this is the case, and you officially own the house, have you acquired it and all the equity in it and it will be yours eventually when they die? If you have, then this could be tantamount to financial abuse as you have so much to gain from it in the long term at the expense of your parents now.
Also, if your parents need care, then there may be issues about deprivation of assets.
Sorry if I've got this all wrong, but it does sound very questionable to me.

Thank you for the replies. I hope I can answer some questions. Yes both on state pension. One might not be a full one. I own the property. Yes they used to pay interest only. Given they live in a home owned by family member, unsure they are entitled to benefits per the benefits checker on the gov website. We are in the U.K. @viques unsure what tax liabilities you refer to. Appreciate all the guidance in these replies. I don’t have DCs. I did in the past say I am not a bank and there will be no more to give to this household once I pay the mortgage. DBs did suggest splitting costs a while ago but I would remain owner but would also need to pay further shares of living and other expenses. I said no to further expenses but this didn’t go down well. Told can pay them back later for the expenses which they will cover. I want to avoid extra debt. I had unexpected costs last year so was being conscious. The parents said cost of living has gone up so this is why they ask. Yes there is high expectation and assumption children will pay in old age for them. @Beeinalily what type of scam? Perhaps I missed something.

My mum worked until she was 77. Is there a reason why they chose to retire, knowing they cannot afford basic living expenses or a roof over their heads? If they're disabled then they should claim PIP etc. if they are not then they need to both go back to work?!
It's not your concern frankly and they are outrageous for demanding so much from you financially.
Did they spend fortunes in their lives on you, private school, paid your uni fees, helped you out with getting your first place? Even if they did you owe them nothing. They are your parents.
You need to shut your wallet to them permanently.

are they also asking your brothers?

The tax liabilities arise when you decide to sell properties where you are not actually living but which you own.

And if they paid an interest only mortgage, and you are paying an interest only mortgage how are you proposing to repay the capital. If there is any equity on the property there won’t be much left, especially if they have remortgaged several times.

Yes there is high expectation and assumption children will pay in old age for them

So why don't they ask the "children" then? Why only ask YOU?

The way I would stop this is to ask THEM for money. Tell them that you paying THEIR mortgage is financially crippling you and you now need them to step up and help you as you have helped them.

Please involve your siblings, particularly if they are not fully aware of the situation. It doesn't have to be framed as a request for money, more as "This is a family problem concerning our parents. What is to be done about it?"

Is there any actual equity in the house they live in?

They will be better off not having a mortgage and renting getting pension credits etc I'm sure . I dont know.What on earth they're thinking of asking you for more money . I can understand if they're thinking the investment in the house will go to you so you will inherit a property - but make sure it is just left to you - and not in shares with Your brothers. Otherwise they're just being selfish.

@Throughitall how old are they? Could they not work a little to cover their costs? I don’t think their lifestyle is sustainable tbh. You need to put money aside for your own pension (so you don’t end up in the same boat!)

I had asked the parents for money a few weeks earlier and then paid it back. I also said no to contributing to family gifts my DBs planned but it didn’t seem to register why I was doing this. I started working at 16 and paid my way and supported parents throughout the years (getting out loans, monthly contribution, paying for phones, also have my student loans to them). The equity in the property will pay the outstanding mortgage. It’s 50% 50%. I’m making a loss on it at the moment as it’s not going up in value to equal the interest payments and costs.

Maybe you need to reconsider if housing your parents is sustainable longer term . 70 is not that old. Some are still working at that age and they are well enough to travel. What are they spending their pension income on? could they downsize to reduce the running costs and your contribution?

So your brothers only agreed to help if you would personally pay them back for any help they gave your parents, but they expect you to help your parents without getting any of it back? What is that?

Sorry I've maybe missed something but why do they expect all this? Did they not save for retirement and if not why have they retired?

@Throughitall
That isn’t normal for a student to pay parents costs from their student loan. They would have been younger then. Have they always worked? It sounds like they are terrible with money.

If they have equity in the house then what are their options to downsize radically. How big is this house? What would it sell for?

They need to go into rented and the house be sold. They live off any equity they receive and then apply for benefits.

The current situation is unsustainable.

Have you looked into council accomadation for your parents ?

Hang on, you say your boyfriend is paying your rent because you can’t afford it because you’re paying your parents mortgage? This means that actually it is your boyfriend and not you who is subsidising your parents living costs. How does he feel about this? Maybe make it official. Tell your parents you can’t pay their mortgage because you need to pay your own rent, and say they should ask your boyfriend directly for the money he has been giving them.

I wouldn’t trust these grifters to pay the rent.

They see you as a cash cow and the weakest link, sorry to be so blunt OP. If dB can afford to pay for trips this means they might not have even asked him for money snd are just taking from you. Hold your ground ,do not give in. It time they pulled their weight. Is their house now in your name ? I didn't quite understand that part

Let me get this straight - they are living in your house free of charge, that you pay the mortgage for, and they are still asking you for money, yet your siblings have far more money than you do and are not being asked?

They are taking the bloody piss.