Mother's Day - should school do more?

[inquisitiveinga]

Disclaimer: I am absolutely not going to complain regarding this matter, I understand that teachers may have completely valid reasons for the below. My child's teacher is also FANTASTIC, she doesn't have children, and I can't help but think that due to this she perhaps doesn't understand the value of a handmade card?

My child has come home from school today and it's very clear that nothing has been prepared for Mother's Day, at least where their class is concerned. Usually a "beautiful" card comes home and it really makes my day.

Personally, I'm not bothered. I'm fortunate enough to have a husband who will not doubt ensure I have something from my 7 year old, and 1 year old (although I'm not really sure anything from her is warranted!). However, I can't help but think about single mothers in the class who may not receive anything (and who absolutely should).

AIBU to even be having this thought process?

and the trauma? You’re still ignoring the vulnerable kids? What about the opportunity to explain to children about different families and that not all children have mum and dad who are loving and caring?

My daughter just brought some cooked noodles to me because she only knew on Friday that is was Mother’s Day as schoool had mentioned it. Her feckless father who insisted on 50/50 where I do all the running around for medical, school, social needs etc and pay the majority of things but he has equal overnights so he doesn’t have to pay any child support had nor, as usual, supported her to even make a card for me.

Your ridiculous assumption that you are so unique that if you listed your qualifications it would out you. Loads of posters back up their professional training with generic information.

I don’t remember school doing mothers or fathers day cards after reception. Children are bought up in so many different family units now - I think it’s something schools should stay away from. Some children won’t have Mums, some may have 2 dads, some will be in foster care or live with extended relatives. Mother’s day isn’t for everyone.

Any way happy mother's day to all of you there who are mothers......have a great day with the family and hope the kids spoil you a bit 😊

Seriously - why do need to be praised and celebrated?

You’re lying. You know it. I know it. There is not one. And everything you’ve said is evidence that you’ve got no training at all.

You have compared dead mothers and children not liking crafts.
You have failed to work out that.a dead mother is not about not wanting to make crafts.
You’ve failed to knowledge that writing balloon letters is not inclusive.
Nothing about CLA.

etc. etc. etc.

Wait is that last bit sarcastic? Because that is exactly what I’m suggesting activities like this give the opportunity to expose children to in a gentle and age appropriate way

Nobody is saying that children should stop engaging in mothers day! Why do they need to make cards at school in order to engage with mothers day? Mother's day is at a weekend and it's a family day! Why don't you encourage your children to make cards at home, can't they do crafting at home too? Why is everything on the school?

What?

Are you suggesting Mother’s Day activities give children the opportunity to learn about not having one?!

Tbh I find the whole concept of Mothers' Day so needy. Is your (general your) life such a misery of selfless, unappreciated drudgery that you have to have this one 'special' day?

@Riaanna
Incorrect.

I was pointing out that there would be multiple children that don’t want to take part, so not doing so wouldn’t isolate or draw attention to a child.

I don’t really understand the second point.

I wasn’t suggesting writing on a balloon should be done in schools I was using as an example of a widely recognised activity that isn’t too dissimilar to making a card for someone who isn’t here anymore (should someone want to) in the same way people talk out loud, write letters, post heartfelt things on social media etc, sometimes they have things to say that they want to be heard.

children looked after also deserve to be open about their experiences IF they want to

So much so they’re willing to trample over traumatised kids!

I think she's genuinely suggesting that some sort of session where most of the children are cheerfully making cards for their mums while a small minority are making tributes for their dead parents graves or balloons with poems for their dead parents etc would somehow not be risking trauma or upset. It's just baffling to me, I lost my dad last year and if someone suggested I make a balloon for him while surrounded by other people who are all celebrating their still living dads I would be pretty upset - and I'm an adult. And then there are children who might not want to make a card because of neglect etc and maybe they don't want to explain to their friends why they're not really wanting to join in.

I don't know why I'm still posting and arguing really, it seems like a pointless argument as it's so obvious what the potential risks of this activity would be. But it's really wound me up!

No, I’m suggesting is an opportunity for children to witness empathy and compassion and an opportunity for children to experience those things, and therefore shouldn’t be a reason not to do these activities.

Sorry no - the balloon comment was not saying this it was pointing out that writing to the dead isn’t a foreign idea (I was called chilling for suggesting it).

I wouldn’t think an activity set up in this way was appropriate no.

So a bit of grief tourism? When you’ve finished making your lovely mummy’s card we are going to talk to Timmy about his dead mum, and Johnny about his alcoholic mother and Francine who’s a CLA?

Whuch trauma training have you done again? Or could you at least signpost the one suggesting anything like this.

Dear mummy can’t wait to see you later and have big cuddles versus dear mummy sorry you’re dead.

amazing.

It’s wound me up because she’s maintaining that she’s a professional.

No where have I said this?! I wouldn’t go out of my way to make the activity about that, I’ve given examples further up about how the direction I think the conversation could take and it’s certainly not what you’ve suggested

I’m a 40+ adult who lost her mum over 20 years ago. I still to this day find being in a situation where I am surrounded by “Mother’s Day” cards and gifts extremely upsetting. I actively avoid card shops as much as I can at this time of year.

I cannot wrap my head around the posters who are suggesting that teachers should deliberately put small children in this situation

The minority being little children without mothers, how heartless are you????

I think it is a family thing - and that dads or another family member should direct and support children in making cards if, culturally, Mothers’ day is important. It’s rooted in christianity and therefore not significant culturally to many; also many children do not have mothers (bereavement, separation, are in the care system or… they have two daddies). On this latter grounds I feel it should absolutely NOT be overseen or managed at school.

Yes forcing children to make one in school is actually depriving a child of their autonomy not to thank an abusive or neglectful parent.

I think MD is a nice thing, I just am not so hung up on it that I’d check the school bag on Friday eve to make sure they had a card for me. It’s nice to get acknowledgement but you have to leave a bit of free will in it all - if only for it to mean something.
And all the MN squabble threads about where DH is spending MD are just 🙄