To say that my DD can't have violin lessons.

[user1471516498]

My DD (10) has been offered free violin lessons in school as she did well in an aptitude test. I don't know much about music, but I have read that learning an instrument can be beneficial with schoolwork generally even if it isn't taken to a high level.
The only problem is that we live in a terraced house. My sister learned violin when I was a child, and I remember the noise being horrendous, and our neighbours banging on the walls and swearing at us. I used to be absolutely mortified as a teenager, so maybe this is colouring my view.
Part of me wants to give her the opportunity, but I am leaning towards the conclusion that it might be a better life lesson in consideration and politeness if I say no.
I was going to compromise by saying that she could play at school but no playing allowed at home, but from what I have read, that would be pointless.
I just feel so guilty, because I wish we lived in a detached house so that she could learn an instrument if she wanted to. However in reality she needs to learn that she cannot impose her noise on other people around her.

La la la la singing lessons 🎵 marvellous.

But practice mutes are also really effective. They are substantial, different from ordinary mutes.

it would not be helpful to use one all the time, because you need to hear the quality of sound you are producing. But as an occasional sound muffler they are great.

www.thestringzone.co.uk/ultra-violin-practice-mute?gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD_dcWsuw25ajY4j0aE51vhe04tGB&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI-qjA3OaojAMV25RQBh0vMhfZEAQYAiABEgIJOPD_BwE

Violin practice always sounds awful even done by a professional. I used to live in a block of flats. One of the conditions of the flat lease was no music practice. One of the flat owners played a double bass in an orchestra. She practiced every day and no one complained. Her friend from the orchestra moved in and started to practice her violin. Within days everyone had complained. The friend moved out.

Use a mute. A little wooden thing that sits of the strings at the base and makes it sound quieter. Play as normal. Improve. Remove mute. Voila.

Try a mute or an electric violin so she can use headphones when practicing

I’d not let it hold her back. We are in a detached house on large block so not up against neighbours. However, I still hear next doors kids practicing their instruments (badly) very clearly if I am outside. The noise is pretty woeful, there has been ‘some’ progress but personally I think non-musical genes in that family and they are flogging a dead horse. Although, most private schools here make an instrument compulsory so guessing it’s that.

No way would I complain. They practice roughly 4.30-5.30ish (one after the other, unfortunately not at the same time) so it’s in no way an unsociable time. Just means I avoid being outside in warmer months over that time but that’s life in a neighbourhood. I’d have exactly the same thought in a terrace, while you can’t escape it, pop on a pair of noise cancelling headphones with podcast or something for the duration or just grit your teeth. It’s just how you have to live and if you don’t want to, you need to look at a remote property on a large acreage.

Let her play but say she can’t practice after, say, 5pm.

Let the neighbours know in advance and say you want to encourage her musically but will keep daily practice to a half hour tops.

If she’s a bright girl learning an instrument can be transformative - please let her try.

Agreed!

Free group violin lessons at school set both my dc on a wonderful path. Neither stuck with violin. They're both in their teens and passionate about music - including DD on the drums! (She has a digital drum kit with headphones at home).

Let your DD play the violin. Keep practice to social hours, say no later than 7 pm? I grew up in a terraced house, I share your concerns about the "vile din" but people in terraced houses are allowed to make noise! Just be thoughtful about when.

Music is really important - it uses parts of your brain nothing else does. I’d not pass up free lessons, that will save you a fortune! And the violin is a beautiful instrument once you get through the tortured cat stage.

as others have said, practice at set times, let your neighbours know. It is a perfectly ordinary thing for a family to do.

tell your neighbours it was between violin and drums and they will just be grateful 😂

That’s what I was going to say. If she’s starting, ten minutes a day is sufficient. You can always warn the neighbours when it will be, and most people can be a bit tolerant if they feel they have been considered.

To be honest, lots of people in my family have learned and even at the beginning the sound wasn’t all that horrible. Obviously she won’t be playing anything amazing at first, but you may find she is one of the learners who doesn’t screech.

Truthfully, I think forgoing this opportunity would be really sad.

Hope it works out.
Piano was a bit of a racket here but violin would have broken me. What a din it is for years!

Does it have to be the violin? There are so many other instruments out there she could play.

My next door neighbour’s DC went to one of those schools where they learn a different instrument every year, and the violin was absolutely horrendous. I didn’t complain and wouldn’t have, but equally based on that I wouldn’t have allowed my child to play the violin either. But there are other instruments. We’re a musical family and there is so much ore scope to music than something which is going to sound awful for the next five years.

I'm sorry I think it would be an astonishing own goal to deprive a child who has aptitude at something of free lessons... why would you limit your child's life chances because of an irrational fear of what the neighbours think?

It’s a mute but doesn’t help that much

op please let her play the violin
I’d encourage her to do it after school before everyone gets home

I learnt cello as a child and we lived in a very small and thin terraced house. I’m now a professional cellist. My husband learnt when he was a child in small little flimsy apartment in Russia and he too is a professional cellist. Quite a prominent one. It would be a shame to miss out on a huge opportunity for your DD. Kids in general don’t practice so much with their attention span. Around 30 minutes a day is all you need. Buy a nice practice mute for her but only use it if absolutely necessary. She needs to learn to produce a big healthy sound and from then on her playing will sound lovely to the neighbours.

This.

Don't teach your dd to be a people pleaser ahead of taking opportunities.

It’s not a lesson in consideration to deny her lessons is it. It’s a lesson in subjugating her own needs and denying herself opportunities on the basis that it could inconvenience someone else. Let her do it. Just don’t let her play all night.
if your neighbours could start a fight in an empty room, what’s the point in trying to placate them?

Talk to the neighbours. Find out whether there are times they'd prefer quiet and work with them. Our neighbours' son is learning the electric guitar. I can hear him practising every day after schoo,l but it's only about half an hour or so and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. They've fallen over themselves to check he's not disturbing us, but honestly it's lovely hearing him progress. If it was 2am or we had a newborn and he was playing Slayer riffs at nap time, then it might be another matter, but as long as you're considerate, it's a wonderful opportunity for her.

Please let her learn. It will be good for so many reasons. Reading music is like having access to another language and can open up things in her life she may not have access to otherwise.
You can get a practice mute (small, metal) and it will dampen the sound. If, and when she gets a bit better you can get a second hand electric violin and/or an amp and she can play with headphones. There will still be a tiny bit of noise for others to hear but not really enough to hear through walls etc as electrics are usually just the violin shape and therefore don't produce much sound without amplification.

That is what I did when I was in a flat, terrace and student accommodation. No one really heard much and it meant I could practice as long as I wanted without inconveniencing anyone.

:)

Sounds like they will find something to complain about anyway.
Get some backbone and go for it.

We lived beside music students for a couple of years. They were considerate and it was never an issue and they didn't complain about a newborn wailing either.

It's rather nice to listen to a decent player on a Sunday morning if it's after 10am.

Yes, that's very good! I'm an adult violin player and study. I us a sound damper device on my violin bridge and it works good

That's a bit unfair, in the sense that putting on headphones isn't an option when learning the violin. This said, assuming your son plays at reasonable hours, doesn't blast the sound on max strength, and doesn't play for hours on end, I don't really see what the problem is.

We have had neighbours complain about my son playing his electric guitar at night so he's not allowed to. He gets it. I think a child practising a violin say in the afternoon after school or daytime during weekend daytime with the door and window shut is a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Living in towns and cities is always a compromise with neighbours. Well done to your daughter. Encouraging creativity and self-expression is important.

Mine never sounded terrible on their violin. I know I certainly sounded dreadful but mine had actual talent.