Feeling very uncomfortable and almost violated after visit today by BT Engineer

[DontGoChasinWaterfalls]

I need a sense check and to realise I'm not overreacting.
BT engineer came today to upgrade my service to fibre optic broadband. He was late first of all which could've been accepted if he acknowledged he was late and apologised. He stepped into my house with his work boots on and I asked if he would mind wearing shoe covers as I have grey carpets. I'd never ask workmen to take shoes off and I provide the blue shoe coverings. He huffed and said he has to go in and out my house. Immediately I felt uncomfortable but explained I have a small child who sits and crawls on the carpet. He reluctantly agreed.
He somehow managed to jam the lock on my porch door by trying to leave it on the latch. After 15 minutes I managed to release it. He then tells me he needs a colleague to come to do something outside with the plyons and phrased it as "if it's after 2pm they won't bother coming". He eventually starts work after 40 minutes after faffing and I go upstairs to do some work.
5 minutes later I hear a panicked call asking if he could use my bathroom. Before I could say anything he was half way up the stairs. I froze and he directed himself to the bathroom. He was in there for 20 minutes and I was now downstairs feeling quite upset. Eventually he comes downstairs and doesn't say anything. I went upstairs to survey the damage and it was horrendous to say the least. To make things worse he rooted through my wardrobe to find the toilet paper.
I feel disgusted and sick..but feel like I'm overreacting as I don't know if he was unwell or has a medical condition.
He's got to come back tomorrow and I don't want him here.
aibu to call OpenReach to request another engineer???

Bah, I can’t bear the demonising of benefits claimants or people moaning about taxpayers paying benefits, but I agree spending 20 mins on the loo in a customer’s house is a bit much – unless the guy was ill. We’ll never know.

Until mind-bleach is invented, I will answer “yes”

Why?

And how does this relate to a visiting engineer going in the bedroom without asking?

Openreach are a disgrace. I'm glad the OP used the correct language of time slot, not appointment as some people do. No time slot is offered that excludes the school run, and my experience of them in business is that no-shows are frequent.

Ofcom of course do nothing about it, and I would be happy to see primary legislation to get acceptable standards from Openreach.

Personally I doubt the 20 minutes in the bathroom was for a poo. Not that you can prove it.

If you were in someone else's house, would you expect them to clean up after you?

Personally I doubt the 20 minutes in the bathroom was for a poo. Not that you can prove it

Intriguing. What do YOU think he was doing in there? Giving himself a coffee enema?

I suppose they’re suggesting it was a ‘work poo’ – sitting doing nothing, looking at phone or whatever, for a little break

Exactly, I think OP does not have sons who do massive number 2s reguarly otherwise she would have a loo brush and not have any expectations that the bathroom mats would be straightened.

I have bowel issues and im often in the loo for 20 mins It takes me ages to clean myself (i have to use wet wipes which i dispose of in a nappy bag) then clean the loo afterwards thouroughly and wash my hands thouroughly I cant shit to a timetable or stop time

And the reason i mentioned benefits is that people are going to have to get used to this sort of thing in their workplaces too when ppls benefits are cut.

People cheering it on may have to reap what they sow

The other behaviour of this BT contractor was unacceptable

It very possibly wasn't BT. Around here they farm that work out to local subcontractors, who are generally very good but (as I later learned) not always authorised to hoick out the old wiring! So you have to keep an eye out for an actual BT van and collar someone to sort it out, which they did very cheerfully for me. But I always offer tea and chocolate biscuits. No toilet incidents were involved.

I think he spent 5 minutes shitting, 5 minutes looking for loo roll and then trying to wash his bum as there was no loo roll. 5 minutes trying to waft the smell out of the window and messing around with the airfreshener, walked out, saw the loo roll in the open cupboard, grabbed it and went back in for 5 minutes to clean himself up properly.😂

My DP and others I know, who have a stoma can spend quite a while. Sometimes waiting for the smell to go, on tol of everything else. They need extra toilet paper. It's surprising how many people have stomas. My DP got a comment, from someone waiting for disabled toilet on Saturday.

There's lots of reasons why someone might be a while and non of them contagious.

I think it’s more that he barged his way up the stairs which would freak anyone out, let alone a woman on her own. Then had the cheek to go into her bedroom and then did a massive shit in her toilet, leaving it in a mess.
if you’d be happy in that situation you need to raise your standards!

I know people want to keep medical issues private but if I was going to leave someone else's bathroom in a state, I would tell them why.

BT/Open Reach are good at dealing with complaints - though I'm not sure doing a poo in the toilet and using a lot of toilet paper necessarily qualifies

So putting another spin on it, he clocked the "haul" of loo roll on his way into the loo, and chose to use that rather than "violating" you further by rooting through the bathroom cabinet as I'm sure you'd have something to say about that too.

Yep if there’s a medical issue of course it’s acceptable. And you have to assume there might be. May or may not be applicable here, and of course, we’ll never know…!

I think I'd rather him barge up to my toilet than shit himself and have it dripping out of his trousers round the house!
As for the toilet roll, I'm guessing he didn't want to root round the bathroom cupboards, had seen the toilet roll in the wardrobe while passing and grabbed one, not knowing how much he might need. He sounded like he desperately needed to go and was probably panicking.
And if you're that bothered about workmen going into other rooms in your house, then do as I do and shut the all the other bloody doors!
I don't agree with him being rude and not cleaning up after himself though. That's really not on. But again, a loo brush would have helped with the shit stains! I've never understood how people just squirt bleach on them and walk away! How long does that take to dissolve?! I'd rather not walk into a toilet and see skid marks slathered in bleach, waiting to magically go away! Madness!
For the price of loo brushes, you could replace it every week if you're that bothered about germs!

Use your imagination?

I feel bad after any tradesman comes into my home.

It's a strange man. In my home.

And I feel afraid.

It's the society we live in. I'm scared of men.

I live alone.If a tradesman comes around, I try to get someone to come over and be in the house with me.

You'll have a job number. Contact the call centre and make a complaint about him.

You weren’t violated op. You should look up that definition. He did shit, left a mess, I doubt he went in your bedroom.

If you can see it as you go past that’s hardly rooting around is it? Also, was there not a non-en suite toilet he could have used?!

Such a non issue.

Yawn at the always so very obvious menz crawling over the thread to berate a woman for daring to criticize a scummy man.