Feeling very uncomfortable and almost violated after visit today by BT Engineer

[DontGoChasinWaterfalls]

I need a sense check and to realise I'm not overreacting.
BT engineer came today to upgrade my service to fibre optic broadband. He was late first of all which could've been accepted if he acknowledged he was late and apologised. He stepped into my house with his work boots on and I asked if he would mind wearing shoe covers as I have grey carpets. I'd never ask workmen to take shoes off and I provide the blue shoe coverings. He huffed and said he has to go in and out my house. Immediately I felt uncomfortable but explained I have a small child who sits and crawls on the carpet. He reluctantly agreed.
He somehow managed to jam the lock on my porch door by trying to leave it on the latch. After 15 minutes I managed to release it. He then tells me he needs a colleague to come to do something outside with the plyons and phrased it as "if it's after 2pm they won't bother coming". He eventually starts work after 40 minutes after faffing and I go upstairs to do some work.
5 minutes later I hear a panicked call asking if he could use my bathroom. Before I could say anything he was half way up the stairs. I froze and he directed himself to the bathroom. He was in there for 20 minutes and I was now downstairs feeling quite upset. Eventually he comes downstairs and doesn't say anything. I went upstairs to survey the damage and it was horrendous to say the least. To make things worse he rooted through my wardrobe to find the toilet paper.
I feel disgusted and sick..but feel like I'm overreacting as I don't know if he was unwell or has a medical condition.
He's got to come back tomorrow and I don't want him here.
aibu to call OpenReach to request another engineer???

He didn't. It just sounds like he was poorly. You're overthinking things. It's not great that he hunted for loo roll in your wardrobe but maybe he found it incredibly embarrassing to admit he had had an accident.

Awful OP. Don’t have him in your house again. I find it amazing that people think his behaviour was acceptable.

Last week I had a gas engineer visit. He was rude and overbearing. I felt very uncomfortable in his presence; really gave me the creeps. Unfortunately, you will come across tradesmen like this occasionally.

(Most of them are very nice and respectful when being alone with a woman in her house, but some of them are not so I think women need to be more vigilant and less trusting.)

Yeah I mean to be fair, what’s he going to do? Ask you to pass him some? He should have cleaned up after himself though.

If he went in your bedroom and into your wardrobe without asking, I wouldn't have him back.

And I'd explain that to BG.

Yes, we would be able to identity who it was if they worked for Openreach or if was one of our subcontractor partners.

To be fair, OP said the loo roll would have been visible as the wardrobe door was open and loo roll in sight. So he probably just got the loo roll without any rooting necessary.

Still wouldn’t have him back in house if he was rude and didn’t clean his crap off the toilet.

That is awful - I get that he needed to use the loo, that wouldn’t be an issue to me, but to leave a mess is hideous, and to go into your bedroom outrageous.

On the plus side the hand towel/ water suggests that at least he washed his hands !

for info, Openreach are not customer facing in terms of the end user, hence you cannot get in touch with them directly. Any issues or complaints have to be raised with your communications provider who in turn will raise the complaint with Openreach. I can raise this complaint internally though should the OP
wish to take this course of action.

What a princess.

I'm a community worker and have to go into people's houses. Sometimes I'm desperate for a wee and ask to use their bathroom as otherwise I have to drive around trying to find a health centre or supermarket.The difference here is that I always ask politely before advancing to the bathroom. I would never just barge in! I always check for loo roll before I go in there and ask politely if there is none. And I would always leave it how I had found it - it not I would be explaining or apologising profusely and asking for a toilet brush if not!
This man sounds rude. Even if he was desperate and needed to go urgently, or rummage for loo roll which I can understand if you're caught short and don't want to have to ask a stranger to pass it in to you while you're in there with your pants down - nothing stopping him from saying "sorry I had to rush in, I really had to go" or "I hope you don't mind but there was not enough loo roll.... but I managed to grab it rather than have you come and pass it to me!"

I do imagine he was probably just embarrassed though and decided to not mention it. Some people would never think to clean up skid marks. In fact plenty don't! (Not saying it's acceptable)

Not read every response but why are some people so dramatic about people shitting in their toilet? Everyone shits and I guarantee yours doesn’t smell pleasant either. “Go 10 minutes away to a public toilet” - I don’t know about anyone else, but depending on the urgency of said shit, that’s not always possible. Especially if you have IBS/IBD or any other inflammatory bowel condition.

Granted I agree there is zero excuse for leaving a toilet in a state. No adult has to behave like that. Especially in someone’s home where most people will hopefully have bleach etc next to the toilet.

I would have taken photos of his 'toilet visit' and complained to BT - it is one thing allowing traders to use facilities but it is basic good manners to leave a toilet just as you find it!
Bloody moron wouldn't not be coming back into my home!

"Tradies" have become like teachers on here, in fact even more hallowed and exalted than teachers, they can literally shit anywhere and it's fine. How come its always men that do this - if its unavoidable, reasonable etc for people to undertake work in a house and then have to shit at the same time, how come women don't do it? As for the poo apologists on this thread, its a new level of poo troll - shit wherever you fancy and never clean up, and you are then automatically the victim, as long as you are male. Poor poor "tradie" man, I mean, what was he supposed to do? Act like a normal adult?

You’ve complained about water all over the sink. Who’d dry a sink off after using. 🙄

Crumpled towel hanging up and unstraightened mat, apparently.

You're worried about water drops on the floor.

Meanwhile, he was probably in there so long as he was hacking your home security systems.

It’s such a good point, no one would rush to excuse leaving the bathroom all messed up and covered in shit if it was a female.

He didn’t "rummage around". She’s said her bedroom door and the wardrobe door were open and the spare paper visible. I agree he shouldn’t have just taken it but I expect he was embarrassed.

I’m so sorry OP, your feelings are valid. Something similar happened to me last week with my bathroom and the result of the plasterer going in there, plaster everywhere including personal items, and an unflushed jobby! I told my landlady and she spoke to the company, they were very apologetic and sent a professional cleaning crew over to sort it out. I hope you get things sorted too

Water all over the floor and towel crumpled on the floor (as well as the shit all over the loo).

Not how I would leave someone’s bathroom…

Did they get rid of the poo ok 😄

No he shouldn’t have gone in to her bedroom!!

He doesn’t sound particularly embarrassed…or considerate.

The poo thing is gross but far worse is a tradesman coming upstairs uninvited, esp if you were up there. I’d be frozen too. It’s scary.

Even if he has a stomach condition that doesn't excuse leaving the bathroom in a state. Or are we going to theorise that he lost his mum at a young age and never learnt to clean up after himself so we have to give him a pass on being gross just in case we upset him.

Why when someone does something unacceptable are we creating issues that the person may or may not have to excuse them??

I work on sites with 99% blokes. Women have a separate toilet and it's locked and you have to request a key because if it's accessible outside of the cabins and left open the men will use them and they will be disgusting.
I got to site once and the site manager asked if I needed the loo and stood outside the men's while I used them because a man had, in his words 'destroyed the women's'. There are signs on the door saying 'any man caught using the women's toilets will be kicked off site. My husband had to give a bloke a warning for sitting having a wank in the men's loo with the door open. Some men are animals.

(fuck knows why!) but for a tradesman to spend 20 minutes in a customer's bathroom, that's taking the fucking piss

Wonder which side of the disability benefit cuts this poster sits on