Feeling very uncomfortable and almost violated after visit today by BT Engineer

[DontGoChasinWaterfalls]

I need a sense check and to realise I'm not overreacting.
BT engineer came today to upgrade my service to fibre optic broadband. He was late first of all which could've been accepted if he acknowledged he was late and apologised. He stepped into my house with his work boots on and I asked if he would mind wearing shoe covers as I have grey carpets. I'd never ask workmen to take shoes off and I provide the blue shoe coverings. He huffed and said he has to go in and out my house. Immediately I felt uncomfortable but explained I have a small child who sits and crawls on the carpet. He reluctantly agreed.
He somehow managed to jam the lock on my porch door by trying to leave it on the latch. After 15 minutes I managed to release it. He then tells me he needs a colleague to come to do something outside with the plyons and phrased it as "if it's after 2pm they won't bother coming". He eventually starts work after 40 minutes after faffing and I go upstairs to do some work.
5 minutes later I hear a panicked call asking if he could use my bathroom. Before I could say anything he was half way up the stairs. I froze and he directed himself to the bathroom. He was in there for 20 minutes and I was now downstairs feeling quite upset. Eventually he comes downstairs and doesn't say anything. I went upstairs to survey the damage and it was horrendous to say the least. To make things worse he rooted through my wardrobe to find the toilet paper.
I feel disgusted and sick..but feel like I'm overreacting as I don't know if he was unwell or has a medical condition.
He's got to come back tomorrow and I don't want him here.
aibu to call OpenReach to request another engineer???

Isn't it less than 5% of the population that have chronic diarrhoea? I'll take my chances.

He could have called out to her. He didn't need to go into her room. If you're able to stand and walk into someone's bedroom and go through their wardrobe for a roll, all without making an accident on the bedroom floor, surely, you're able to call out or even stand at the bathroom door and shout through a gap in the door.

There is no excuse for going into someone's bedroom.

You don't think some strange male entering your bedroom and rummaging in your wardrobe is a violation of your private space, @Beautifulweeds ?

OP said there was already a roll in there, he used the lot, probably putting it in the bowl so as not to make a noise. So he prioritised that, and wasted the roll when he didn't need to.

Also OP said in her posts that there were more rolls in the bathroom cabinet. He didn't even bother to look there. He just saw her bedroom was open. One would think you'd look in the bathroom cabinet that was in the room right in front of you, first.

This isn't about 'chronic' diarrhoea though. 100% of us I would presume have had the runs at some point in life. But I take your point that if you're willing to risk it.

If I had diarrhoea I wouldn't be able to travel for hours going to customer's houses to shit every five mins. I have IBS, when I flare I can't leave the house.
I don't know anyone who's had diarrhoea to that degree and gone into work with no access to a loo.

@user9632579 it’s their place of work- its the location where they perform their job/ tasks you hired them for. They are humans and likely to need the toilet at some point during the working day. It is totally unacceptable to deny someone facilities to relieve a basic , universal , bodily function / need when you have facilities there on site.

I meant to quote this

I think this is all a bit of an over-reaction to be honest.
When you have workmen in your house you have to accept they may need to use the toilet.

OP said he left it in terrible state which included:

Not straightening the towel
not straightening the bath mat
Leaving water on the floor
Water on the sink (how are people supposed to wash their hands without getting water on the sink?)
Knocking over the air freshener
Leaving poo marks in the toilet
Leaving a smell

Most of these are non-issues and for me the only one that would bother me is the poo marks in the bowl.

OP doesn’t have a toilet brush so how was he supposed to clean the toilet?

She said the spare toilet roll and cleaning products were in the bathroom cabinet but presumably he didn’t realise.

I have had a lot of workmen in my home for various house renovations. If they ask to use the toilet of course I let them, and I don’t hover about. Also if I suspect they have done a poo I don’t go straight in and then complain about the smell!
I just go in at the end of the day after they have finished working and give the bathroom a quick clean.

However I leave a stack of 2-3 spare toilet rolls out in my bathroom as I generally think this is better than having people than rooting through my bathroom cupboards. I also have a toilet brush.. (shock horror).

I don’t know why people are getting so worked up over this. ‘My house has been violated’ - really???

Forgetting about the poo and the mess and everything, forget about all that, put it aside as if none of it happened. You don't think some strange male entering your bedroom and rummaging in your wardrobe is a violation of your private space, @Parallellives ? Are you genuinely telling us you'd feel comfortable with a male entering your bedroom and going through your wardrobe? Is that honestly what you expect posters on here to believe?

Quite , and to add to all this- OP “froze” when he asked to use the loo; was “upset” about him being in there; and when he was done went to “survey the damage”. this was all before she was even aware of such horrendous violations such as failing to straighten the bath mat and getting water in the sink! This is clearly all about OP’s issues

Ffs, it’s besides the point that he’s a tradesman!

it’s besides the point that he had a shit in a customers house!

the point is that he left a shitty mess for OP to clean up!!
how is that ok? Why are so many defending him? Are women really so used to cleaning up men’s shit that they think it’s ok??!

How sad 😔

‘Rummaging through the wardrobe’

So he went and got a roll of toilet paper from the bottom of the wardrobe. How is that ‘rummaging’?

(I am still unclear how exactly OP knew that he had been in the wardrobe to be honest unless she had counted the number of rolls or left them very neatly.)
But the alternative was he would have had to shout up to OP ‘where is the spare loo roll’ and she’s already been grumpy with him so he didn’t want to do that.

No I wouldn’t want a workman going in my wardrobe but they wouldn’t need to as 1. I don’t store loo roll in my wardrobe 2. I leave a stack of toilet rolls in my bathroom.

But then I’ve had various workmen in my house and they have had to do work in my bedroom so maybe I am more relaxed about it than the OP.

He left poo marks in the toilet. She doesn’t have a toilet brush. How does he clean it?

Why is it always men who have to shit throughout the day at work? Don't we all do our morning shit and get on with our day? I work out on the road some days/at clients homes and I've never had to take a shit in someone's bathroom because I go before I go to work!
Seen loads of these stories on here and I've never seen one about a female engineer/delivery driver. Do men not have control over their bowels or something?
I think most of us women have enough to do without cleaning up some random blokes shit off our toilets.

Incorrect.

He was a BT engineer not a house rewirer. OP's home is not his place of work, if it were she would need to be registered as a business.

Reported.

Now you're dismissing a woman's uncomfortableness about an unknown male running into rooms in her home which he had no permission to be in.

Absolutely!

So you think it's OK for unknown male to open a woman's room let alone wardrobe?
Why do so many let their boundaries go?
As women we unite on the threat men pose to us. We all know what it's like to have to pretend you're on the phone, not walk home alone, be frightened so why is a man going in a woman's wardrobe without permission accepted?

They don’t have the right to use a customer’s loo. It’s not their workplace. If it were, BT would pay us to maintain our loos.

Seriously? I was stating the reason why your example of flyering is different.

1 You were not based in one property
2 No-one could be sure of YOUR credentials / identity

Your reasons for not allowing someone working in your home to not use your toilet are baffling to many of us on here. As I said before, autism and OCD are not reasons to deny someone a basic bodily function, providing they do not leave the bathroom a mess which most would not.

I don’t have to let anyone use my toilet. It’s not their right.

I thought we were having a conversation about how you never let tradespeople use your loo ?