Feeling very uncomfortable and almost violated after visit today by BT Engineer

[DontGoChasinWaterfalls]

I need a sense check and to realise I'm not overreacting.
BT engineer came today to upgrade my service to fibre optic broadband. He was late first of all which could've been accepted if he acknowledged he was late and apologised. He stepped into my house with his work boots on and I asked if he would mind wearing shoe covers as I have grey carpets. I'd never ask workmen to take shoes off and I provide the blue shoe coverings. He huffed and said he has to go in and out my house. Immediately I felt uncomfortable but explained I have a small child who sits and crawls on the carpet. He reluctantly agreed.
He somehow managed to jam the lock on my porch door by trying to leave it on the latch. After 15 minutes I managed to release it. He then tells me he needs a colleague to come to do something outside with the plyons and phrased it as "if it's after 2pm they won't bother coming". He eventually starts work after 40 minutes after faffing and I go upstairs to do some work.
5 minutes later I hear a panicked call asking if he could use my bathroom. Before I could say anything he was half way up the stairs. I froze and he directed himself to the bathroom. He was in there for 20 minutes and I was now downstairs feeling quite upset. Eventually he comes downstairs and doesn't say anything. I went upstairs to survey the damage and it was horrendous to say the least. To make things worse he rooted through my wardrobe to find the toilet paper.
I feel disgusted and sick..but feel like I'm overreacting as I don't know if he was unwell or has a medical condition.
He's got to come back tomorrow and I don't want him here.
aibu to call OpenReach to request another engineer???

Can’t help but think you’re being a bit dramatic, OP.
The boots thing, fine, but needing to use the toilet is out of his control, and if you don’t have spares in the bathroom and he saw toilet roll of course he’s going to take it. Or would you prefer he sat in your home with shit running down his legs?
SMH.

That may be true but refusing is out of order if that person is based in your home all day. Also how awkward would the atmosphere be for the rest of the day once that person has then had to get back in the van, find a toilet, come back, possibly look for a new parking space then resume work (X however many times they need to go throughout the day). They will then probably not drink enough to reduce toilet trips and end up dehydrated, all because you are precious about your toilet.

There were spares in the bathroom, @paradisecityx . In the bathroom cabinet. He didn't even bother to look.

No of course you don't have to let anyone use your toilet. However, anyone either an ounce of humanity would allow it. If someone's working at my house all day, of course they'll need the toilet. They're human beings. I wouldn't expect them to drive around looking for a public toilet (which have all been closed due to public spending cuts).

I don't care if they're baffling.

My toilet: my rules.

You can choose what to do with your own toilet.

Indeed in the context of the thread which is about a BT engineer.

No.

See we form our own moral compasses.

It's not illegal and it's not a right nor a given, the toilet belongs to us so we choose who uses it. Nothing to comment really.

Not your toilet not your problem.

Did you say pp doesn't have any humanity?

Yes but it’s not their right. I use trusted tradespeople that I know or are known to friends. This engineer is on the road going to calls, he can stop for the loo in between jobs. He was also quite unfriendly to the op. Then he left a mess and eneteres her bedroom. How anyone can defend that I do t know. Why doesn’t he have to have common decency but we all have to offer our lavs?

BT engineers are not in your house all day. They travel from job to job. They can stop at a loo.

My response was to a poster who said she doesn't allow work people into her property. Not just BT engineers

I had a postman years ago who was a bit odd. Just a bit socially naive. He once asked to use my downstairs loo and I said yes. He asked again the following week and I let him. The third week I said no.

recently had a guy from DFS come and fix my sofa. He was really racist and gave me all of his views while I made him a cup of tea. Hugely inappropriate.

could you imagine a woman doing any of this?

I think this is directed at you. Your toilet your rules stance does lack humanity.

Who said they don't allow workspeople into their property? Not that it should concern you anyway.

Reported.

Well if they’re not in the property how can they use your loo??

That doesn't make any sense.

You said a poster doesn't allow workspeople in their house. Who said that?

Try to put it down to experience and move on OP. In future prepare your bathroom with plenty of loo roll and place bleach and bog brush almost in front of the loo so any visitor can’t miss them….. and hope for the best.

My worst experience was back in the day when bank officials made house visits to offer advice. This young overweight besuited buffoon arrived on my doorstep clutching his guts and asking for the loo as he’d just had a dodgy lunch. What could I say?

He went on to become a financial journalist for my national daily newspaper. Everytime I read his name my nostrils were filled with the stench he’d left in my bathroom all those years ago.

Sometimes people just need to go that minute. You have no idea if someone has IBS or any other type of bowel or bladder disorder. I myself, need to go very urgently and suddenly.
Of course no one has a right to use your toilet and you're perfectly entitled to refuse their request. That's obvious. However, if someone's in my house abd desperately needs the loo, I'm not going to refuse. It's a small act of human decency.

Sounds like a medical condition. Urgency to go and being in there for 20 mins. Could explain the grumpiness too. Might have had some stomach gripes going on. Probably IBS.

Reported for what? You keep reporting people for absolutely nothing. Your stance does lack empathy and humanity. Whether you like it or not. And this is a public discussion forum where you put your stance out there so quite rightly I have stated my opinion. None ofy business indeed 🤣

Personal attacks.
Ad hominem.

Ever heard of the boy who cried wolf? Many of the posts are not personal attacks but disagreeing with your perspective. Mumsnet HQ will probably be getting very fed up with your constant reporting

Clearly not as the personal attacks are being deleted.

I'm sure you can email them and express your concern for their time management moderating posts.

Not all of them. And it doesn't mean they are not finding you tiresome.