Feeling very uncomfortable and almost violated after visit today by BT Engineer

[DontGoChasinWaterfalls]

I need a sense check and to realise I'm not overreacting.
BT engineer came today to upgrade my service to fibre optic broadband. He was late first of all which could've been accepted if he acknowledged he was late and apologised. He stepped into my house with his work boots on and I asked if he would mind wearing shoe covers as I have grey carpets. I'd never ask workmen to take shoes off and I provide the blue shoe coverings. He huffed and said he has to go in and out my house. Immediately I felt uncomfortable but explained I have a small child who sits and crawls on the carpet. He reluctantly agreed.
He somehow managed to jam the lock on my porch door by trying to leave it on the latch. After 15 minutes I managed to release it. He then tells me he needs a colleague to come to do something outside with the plyons and phrased it as "if it's after 2pm they won't bother coming". He eventually starts work after 40 minutes after faffing and I go upstairs to do some work.
5 minutes later I hear a panicked call asking if he could use my bathroom. Before I could say anything he was half way up the stairs. I froze and he directed himself to the bathroom. He was in there for 20 minutes and I was now downstairs feeling quite upset. Eventually he comes downstairs and doesn't say anything. I went upstairs to survey the damage and it was horrendous to say the least. To make things worse he rooted through my wardrobe to find the toilet paper.
I feel disgusted and sick..but feel like I'm overreacting as I don't know if he was unwell or has a medical condition.
He's got to come back tomorrow and I don't want him here.
aibu to call OpenReach to request another engineer???

Take a photo of the loo and send it in

because yabu not to expect people to use a loo and if there wasn’t enough loo roll that’s pretty horrible for him

Without wanting to redo the whole toilet brush or no toilet brush…. I’d have needed a toilet brush to clean up…. Bleach without utensils is no use in my opinion

Well he evidently didn't see the loo roll in the bathroom. OP would not like it if the guy said 'sorry love can you chuck me some loo roll' and she had to walk in or converse with him to tell him where it is while he's sat having a shit on the loo.

he was evidently desperate, and probably didn't realise there was no loo roll until it was too late

You're really saying it's acceptable for him to leave the bathroom mid-shit and go to the bedroom?
Wow!

The Virgin Media engineer wore branded over-boots that were so good I looked them up and bought two pairs for my partner.

LOLLLLL

He sounds like a bit of an arse, but he clearly had a digestive emergency, and begrudging someone a toilet in that situation seems pretty petty.
I wouldn't LIKE having a stranger upstairs in my house, but would you have preferred he shit his pants in your living room instead?
Leaving the bathroom a mess is grim, was there a toilet brush and cleaning supplies available he could have used?

It’s gross. If the guy had an emergency fair enough- he asked and you said yes. He should leave the toilet clean, open the window and deal with his discomfort himself, not go into your bedroom and take more loo roll. I’m aghast! Defo report him. A workman did similar to my mum once. He asked to use the loo, she obliged but when he left the toilet was splattered and stank! She had a loo brush and room spray in there plus a flippin window he could have opened. Absolutely no excuse!

Then he needs to do his best. Stop at some public labs on way back . Not the OP’s problem.

@MoonWoman69 The loo roll was in the bathroom cabinet that was metres from him and he didn't even bother looking! In the same actual room. People with base level common sense would check the cabinet right in front of them in the actual bathroom first. There was no reason for him to go into her bedroom! It was a ruse. And I hope the OP checks her room for anything taken.

Technically, he took a dump.

You should have asked him to go back in and clean the loo. You don't leave a mess in someone else's loo.

ETA he could have cleaned the loo with loo paper, seeing as he'd just found some. Not pleasant but far better than leaving your dirt for someone else to clean.

If there was no loo paper and he needed some, and there was some visible in the wardrobe, I can kind of understand why he went and got his own. He should have asked, but If you have people working in the house, the loo should be in a usable condidition. You say he was 'panicked' when he asked to use your bathroom - he may well suffer from urgency. There are several conditions that came make a dash to the loo essential.

As for the people saying he should use a public loo, how many public loos are within easy reach of your homes? Trades people do need to go to the toilet. If they have to keep driving off in search of public loos, they'll never get anything done.

You don't know he was 'faffing around.' He was probably doing necessary things. On the whole, they work to a tight schedule and don't have much space for faffing. The only thing that would bother me was if he left the loo in an unpleasant state - not properly flushed or skid marks.

There was loo paper! There was loo paper in the bathroom and also in the bathroom cabinet. Why would he choose (half way through wiping?) to not check the bathroom cabinet, and to instead go in to the OP’s bedroom for loo paper?

There’s a supermarket near me with loos. Not my problem.

Amazed by the amount of posters excusing a stranger making a mess in your toilet and going into a woman’s bedroom without permission!🤦🏼‍♀️

I used to do a job that involved mostly home visits. My "patch" was a mainly rural area, with no public toilets. I often used to have to use clients' loos, there was no alternative, and on at least one occasion, where the client at my planned "pee stop" was out when I arrived, I had to have an alfresco piss between my car and a field gate in a quiet country lane.

People whose work involves visiting people's homes don't really have much choice in the matter, and I would never object to anyone using my bog. I would be really pissed off if they left it in a filthy state though, that's unforgivable, and not using the spare bog roll from the cabinet and going into a bedroom to get one is very intrusive.

I just checked my council's website for locations of public toilets. The 4 towns all have them, but 3 of the 4 are on the coast, so not very useful if you're in the north of the district, 15 miles inland and 8 miles from the inland town!

Only 4 out of 15-20 villages have a public loo.

It kind of is your problem if you want tradesman in your house doing work for you. If I was refused use of a toilet I’d pack up my stuff and leave. It’s a horrible way to treat someone.

That's so disgusting.

I don't allow work or trades people use my bathroom but have definitely felt forced into doing so in the past.

He has no respect. Complain.

Off you pop then.

It's not the customer's problem if a trades person needs the toilet.

It’s absolutely mind blowing to me how someone with a working and convenient toilet would deny visitors using it? Why? It’s odd! I mean fair enough he left it in a mess and that was very rude but things like that don’t usually happen 🤯

It wouldn’t even cross my mind to refuse the use of my toilet to a guest in my house, tradesman or otherwise. It’s so paranoid and inhospitable to make someone go out of their way to find a public toilet when you have a perfectly serviceable one literal feet away 🤣 especially if they were desperate.

Mind you, people don’t answer their own doors on here so this shouldn’t surprise me 🤣

It’s all that’s wrong in society , an individualistic I am alright jack. Isn’t it . These trades people are working, paying taxes, improving your lives and homes and yet some people can’t even offer basic decency to them. This thread has saddened me to be honest.

It’s a shame this thread has descended in to being about refusing workmen the toilet. OP didn’t refuse the man the toilet she had an issue with the toilet being left in a shitty state and the invasion of privacy by him going in to her bedroom unnecessarily..

Urgh yes I’d be pissed off too. My husband is a builder and always always wears shoe protectors or removes his shoes. Every single workman I’ve ever had in my house has used them or asked if they should remove their shoes. As for the toilet, I suppose he can’t help it if he needs to go but again he was bloody rude and intrusive and could have at least cleaned up after himself. Utterly disgusting and I’d put in a complaint.