Feeling very uncomfortable and almost violated after visit today by BT Engineer

[DontGoChasinWaterfalls]

I need a sense check and to realise I'm not overreacting.
BT engineer came today to upgrade my service to fibre optic broadband. He was late first of all which could've been accepted if he acknowledged he was late and apologised. He stepped into my house with his work boots on and I asked if he would mind wearing shoe covers as I have grey carpets. I'd never ask workmen to take shoes off and I provide the blue shoe coverings. He huffed and said he has to go in and out my house. Immediately I felt uncomfortable but explained I have a small child who sits and crawls on the carpet. He reluctantly agreed.
He somehow managed to jam the lock on my porch door by trying to leave it on the latch. After 15 minutes I managed to release it. He then tells me he needs a colleague to come to do something outside with the plyons and phrased it as "if it's after 2pm they won't bother coming". He eventually starts work after 40 minutes after faffing and I go upstairs to do some work.
5 minutes later I hear a panicked call asking if he could use my bathroom. Before I could say anything he was half way up the stairs. I froze and he directed himself to the bathroom. He was in there for 20 minutes and I was now downstairs feeling quite upset. Eventually he comes downstairs and doesn't say anything. I went upstairs to survey the damage and it was horrendous to say the least. To make things worse he rooted through my wardrobe to find the toilet paper.
I feel disgusted and sick..but feel like I'm overreacting as I don't know if he was unwell or has a medical condition.
He's got to come back tomorrow and I don't want him here.
aibu to call OpenReach to request another engineer???

No, they're just a bunch of lazy fuckers who think cleaning lavatories is women's work.

Bum wet wipes? I thought they were bad for sewage system

Which is why i have nappy bags for disposal as well as i mentioned in a post yesterday.

We had it where a workman came to decorate our house and left feaces on the toilet seat. Not even in the toilet but on the seat itself. This was not the first time a worker had left the toilet dirty but the first time some one left this kind of mark I took a picture and raised a complaint against him with the HA and requested not to send him to our house ever again. I was told that the workers are not allowed to use the toilets and they have to use public toilets instead. Now I just refuse use of toilet. If they are that desperate they can use it before they come to my place considering they are mostly late anyway. They are adults. It's their problem to figure out not mine considering they never leave the toilet clean. They always behave like this when the see a woman alone in the house. They wouldn't dare do this to a man. If it's up to me I would never let a male workman come to my house.

The dirty bastard. Report him.

It sounds like he was unprofessional turning up late with no apology and leaving your bathroom in a mess, but I do think you’re over reacting. It sounds like he has some sort of bowel problem if he called you panicking, where else do you expect someone who needs to use a loo urgently to go? It was either use your loo or shit himself.

As for the toilet roll situation, yes, he shouldn’t have gone into your wardrobe and should have probably asked where you keep your loo roll, but we don’t always think rationally when we’re panicking and if he thought there wasn’t enough paper to wipe but knew where some was, I can understand why he might have made that snap decision.

I wouldn’t necessarily like to think a stranger had been in my wardrobe, but you are using very hyperbolic language because ‘’rooting’’ to me suggests that he’d ransacked your wardrobe to retrieve loo roll and nosed at your possessions while there, when in reality it sounds as if he’d seen it and grabbed it?

He can hardly help the smell either, shit stinks, and worse if you have a bad stomach or some kind of long term health condition.

In my opinion, He didn’t go into your bedroom wardrobe looking for toilet roll but for valuables. This is also why he took 20 minutes.
is anything missing

All tradesmen I know remove their shoes and they wear boots that pull on and off easily.
If someone rushed into my loo out of necessity, I'd be making sure they had access to rolls of toilet paper.
I would not skedaddle down stairs.

Irrelevant if he had a medical issue. He could have cleaned up after himself.

I too have been raped, @BobbyBiscuits , and you missed that the worker went into her bedroom to go through her wardrobe to get a toilet roll. Or perhaps you didn't read all the OPs posts on this thread before replying. I would very extremely violated if a worker went in my bedroom and rifled through my wardrobes.

If he definitely went into your bedroom and took loo roll, that’s bang out of order. I’d be pretty shocked if one of my family or mates did that without asking. On that basis, you should request another engineer.

If you don’t have a toilet brush, how was he supposed to clean the toilet? Is the cloth visible?

The rest isn’t so much of an issue, other than poor customer service, which you can complain about to BT.

Dust sheets are better than asking someone to put shoe covers on and off.

If you don’t feel comfortable, then you don’t feel comfortable. ( neither would I have, in your situation)

request another engineer

You sound like a particularly nervous person.

call and say you don’t want him back

Definitely ask for a different engineer asap

We have Virgin Media and the first thing they do is whip out their shoe covers! 😄

He wouldn't have behaved like that if you were a man. No excuse for going in your wardrobe.

Definitely out of order. Report

He shouldn’t be using her toilet in the first place.

Surely these people have training on professional behaviour when their workplace is the customer's home? I only hope so!

From my point of view there are lots of reasons to dread having to call a tradesman (they're usually men), the charges and the potential mess and disruption being two. But for me, very unpleasant past experiences with rude and inconsiderate tradesmen is the main reason. They are in your home, your safe place, and it really needs to an important part of their training to understand that - especially with lone female customers. Some of them just don't and I'm guessing it must be due to their upbringing. Possibly they've never been taught courtesy, respect and consideration at home???

I've had lovely tradesmen too - but my old reliable favourites are either retired now or reaching that age, sadly.

Medical condition or not, I wouldn’t allow a work man to use my bathroom. And they wouldn’t be stepping foot in my house without shoe coverings, boohoo they have to take them on and off….ITS PART OF THE JOB. Anyone who thinks that is outrageous, not to have work boots on your carpet….your homes must be filthy 🤮

The posts on here are making it easy to believe why none of you stuck up snobs can get tradies when your horrified that they use the bathroom you'd definitely be moaning if they left to go the toilet

This

Have you read more than the OP's first post on here? He went into her bedroom and was rummaging around in her wardrobe. He was gone 20 minutes. It's not 'snobby' to feel violated at a strange male entering your bedroom and going through your wardrobes, @Missey85 @nickyschof @JMSA That would make any one feel violated and nervous.

You weren’t violated. This is hyperbole at best and catastrophising at worst. He didn’t do you harm.

Yeah not ideal and yes clearly uncomfortable. But he was clearly in distress and needed the toilet asap.

I guess I would rather be a kind human being and be understanding and help someone out then prefer they shit themselves and be embarrassed. No one in my life would ever say I am a pushover but honestly OP you aren’t covered in glory here either.