Feeling very uncomfortable and almost violated after visit today by BT Engineer

[DontGoChasinWaterfalls]

I need a sense check and to realise I'm not overreacting.
BT engineer came today to upgrade my service to fibre optic broadband. He was late first of all which could've been accepted if he acknowledged he was late and apologised. He stepped into my house with his work boots on and I asked if he would mind wearing shoe covers as I have grey carpets. I'd never ask workmen to take shoes off and I provide the blue shoe coverings. He huffed and said he has to go in and out my house. Immediately I felt uncomfortable but explained I have a small child who sits and crawls on the carpet. He reluctantly agreed.
He somehow managed to jam the lock on my porch door by trying to leave it on the latch. After 15 minutes I managed to release it. He then tells me he needs a colleague to come to do something outside with the plyons and phrased it as "if it's after 2pm they won't bother coming". He eventually starts work after 40 minutes after faffing and I go upstairs to do some work.
5 minutes later I hear a panicked call asking if he could use my bathroom. Before I could say anything he was half way up the stairs. I froze and he directed himself to the bathroom. He was in there for 20 minutes and I was now downstairs feeling quite upset. Eventually he comes downstairs and doesn't say anything. I went upstairs to survey the damage and it was horrendous to say the least. To make things worse he rooted through my wardrobe to find the toilet paper.
I feel disgusted and sick..but feel like I'm overreacting as I don't know if he was unwell or has a medical condition.
He's got to come back tomorrow and I don't want him here.
aibu to call OpenReach to request another engineer???

EXACTLY

Yes i saw that when it was shared on fb

I have NO problem allowing workmen or whoever is in my home to use the loo. I am not precious about bodily functions. However I bloody mind a lot when certain people (and it's always men!!) leave the bathroom in a dirty state, whether that's the seat up, seat down but covered in wee, unflushed wee, muddy footprints on the floor or mud leftover in the basin or whatever. I appreciate workmen often get mucky hands that's the nature of many of their jobs but why the fuck can't they clean up?

Probably the same reason the gender neutral toilets at my office are always bloody revolting and none of the women will use them. So many blokes just don't care if they leave a toilet in a filthy state because they know full well someone else will inevitably clean it up. So for that reason no, if a workman leaves my bathroom in a state once I won't let him use it again.

Also have had several women over the years working in our house who have used the loo and they always leave it spotless.... funny that.

You have any public toilets local to your house?
My husband is a trades person.
He has to shit in a bucket in his van when people like you dont allow him the courtesy of using their toilet...

Is that what you do when you're at work? Hold it in and then find a local supermarket?

I am a vet and worked in all sorts of locations and situations that required me to hold a wee. I remember one time it was over 16hrs as we couldn’t disturb a breeding nest during day light hours. So I know how it can be without access to a loo.

I said I allow people to use my bathroom but pissing in someone’s sink is awful. And you are assuming he did have a medical issue

As a clinician... holding your wee for 16 hours is not good.

Just because you did/could doesn't mean everyone should or can.

Don't let him back in your house and phone OpenReach and report his behaviour

I don't know if he came back today after all but I would just let him finish as if you send him away the work may never get done.
He doesn't sounds very helpful but the first thing I saw when men come to do work is tell them they can use the toilet and where it is as I know it is a massive issue for them as the UK has chosen to have just about no public loos in most areas these days.

I have never asked a tradesman to take off his shoes as plenty of them do.

I usually make sure there is a lot of stock of toilet roll available (when I had 3 men for 5 - 6 weeks painting full time outside last May/June it was my daily task - change the towel in there and stock up and do extra cleaning - felt it was the least I could do given how hard the men were working).

Yes it is awful. But in the absence of a toilet he was pushed to do it. Maybe there wasn’t a garden. Maybe he couldn’t wait. None of the maybes would be relevant if he’d just been allowed to use a bloody loo!

For a vet, you seem woefully ignorant about medical issues and harping on about how you managed to hold in a pee for 16 hours while clearly not grasping that others can’t, is very tone deaf.

Maybe stop derailing the bloody thread then!

So now we are excusing men pissing in a kitchen sink. Bloody hell this thread gets stranger.

If he was that desperate before arriving at somebody’s house he should have stopped (garage/supermaket etc) I think we are all capable of planning our loo
stops.

Really not sure what you’re struggling with here. He clearly pissed in the sink because he was desperate and denied access to a toilet. I’m not excusing it, it’s deeply unpleasant but what’s the alternative? Piss himself?

Nope 🙂‍↔️ you’re not being unreasonable

You don’t piss in someone’s sink… it’s perfectly possible not to do that. He’s not a toddler.

He could have got back in his van and driven somewhere perfectly easily. We all know that. He was proving a point.

Some people on this thread live with these men, who not only don't clean up at home, but don't clean up in other people's houses either. It's quite depressing.

Exactly and we do not know if this man even had medical issues- it is just an assumption.

I was specifically asked by another poster if I had ever had to hold a wee during work time. So I answered the question. I think the question was asked as it was assumed I worked in an office and could use a loo whenever I wanted.

Last British Gas workman I had round made an absolute mess of my bathroom. I shouted at him and told him to clean it up. He did and was very sheepish afterwards and did say sorry but why he thought it was ok for me to sort out I don't know (well I do, he probably has some poor bird at home running after him mopping up his piss and shit all day). Dirty bastard was lucky I didn't report him.

In future I will not be allowing tradesmen to use my bathroom.

Funny how it’s always men making a mess of toilets/bathrooms and leaving it..and pissing in sinks…they must all have medical issues that prevent basic manners.

I didn’t say it was good to do. You asked me a direct question about what I did at work so I answered- as many times I have not had easy access to a loo. I allow trades people to use my loo but I would hope they at least made an effort to clean up. And I would be horrified if someone pissed in my sink.

Im having my fuse box changed next month. the electric will be off for five hours, The workman will have full access to the loo and there is plenty of toilet roll and bum wet wipes. He will be here for a good few hours Hes bound to need the loo in that time

Yeah Delatron Me and @foxxxxy are both derailing the thread by mentioning toileting issues on a thread about use of a toilet