Feeling very uncomfortable and almost violated after visit today by BT Engineer

[DontGoChasinWaterfalls]

I need a sense check and to realise I'm not overreacting.
BT engineer came today to upgrade my service to fibre optic broadband. He was late first of all which could've been accepted if he acknowledged he was late and apologised. He stepped into my house with his work boots on and I asked if he would mind wearing shoe covers as I have grey carpets. I'd never ask workmen to take shoes off and I provide the blue shoe coverings. He huffed and said he has to go in and out my house. Immediately I felt uncomfortable but explained I have a small child who sits and crawls on the carpet. He reluctantly agreed.
He somehow managed to jam the lock on my porch door by trying to leave it on the latch. After 15 minutes I managed to release it. He then tells me he needs a colleague to come to do something outside with the plyons and phrased it as "if it's after 2pm they won't bother coming". He eventually starts work after 40 minutes after faffing and I go upstairs to do some work.
5 minutes later I hear a panicked call asking if he could use my bathroom. Before I could say anything he was half way up the stairs. I froze and he directed himself to the bathroom. He was in there for 20 minutes and I was now downstairs feeling quite upset. Eventually he comes downstairs and doesn't say anything. I went upstairs to survey the damage and it was horrendous to say the least. To make things worse he rooted through my wardrobe to find the toilet paper.
I feel disgusted and sick..but feel like I'm overreacting as I don't know if he was unwell or has a medical condition.
He's got to come back tomorrow and I don't want him here.
aibu to call OpenReach to request another engineer???

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lol the air freshener bottle knocked over. What a calamity

So where did you expect him to go if you wouldn’t let him in the toilet? I can’t believe some people are so petty.

Edited as I realised you weren’t talking to the OP.

She did let him go to the toilet but with the other poster it is a different situation.

How many of the 40 minutes involved this poor guy having to remove and replace these blue shoe covers while he went in a out of your house, OP?!

Also, you mentioned (twice) that you buy your toilet rolls from Costco. Are the shoe covers also from Costco?

God this thread is so strange. Yes poor guy having to put shoe covers on….

I think this is a bit of a stretch. Being able to maliciously shit on demand is a skill I’d have thought.

Not take a piss in the sink. I would expect him to hold it and then find a supermarket or public loo.

Is your bathroom an ensuite?

@Poppins21are you aware that some people have medical conditions that mean they can’t simply ’hold it’?

It always amazes me the sheer level of ignorance on these threads. Like needing the toilet is a disgusting or disrespectful act. No wonder people feel so ashamed about bowel and bladder issues. I have suffered with both in the past and my worst nightmare would be to be stuck in a situation where someone was deliberately withholding access to a toilet from me.

Would I piss in their sink? Probably not. I’d probably have an accident though. Neither would be pretty. Hence why sometimes it’s nice to show a bit of humanity to people.

I am not outraged at young man going into an older females bathroom for a basic human right more outraged at those posters who would deny him that. I can’t remember the tv show but remember seeing a clip where a young actress going for auditions couldn’t get to a toilet.I think she had crohns. It is very powerful. Please have empathy. He might be just as intimidated by you which is why he wasn’t quick. Who knows?

Do you really think someone would use the toilet paper in the loo , finish the roll, hen have a shit then think i've no loo roll left to wipe my arse so i'll venture out into a strangers house with their trousers and pants around their ankle thinking if they search around a bit they will find some loo roll somewhere in the house?

that sounds utter bat shit.

And lots of people don’t have medical conditions. I always offer people the loo in my house if they are doing work but I would be horrified if someone took a piss in my sink. The chances are the guy didn’t have a medical condition and he was just a disrespectful arse. And the garden would have been a better place than in the sink!

@Poppins21an awful lot of assumptions there. Unfortunately people generally don’t walk around with their conditions tattooed on their forehead so in the spirit of being a decent human I would just allow someone to use my toilet if they asked for it.

Saves them pissing in the sink too.

Him being 36 minutes late or whatever is annoying but things like this will happen as appointment times will run over and thats just life. I suppose you could have turned him away if you'd needed to be somewhere and have them come back another time.

Him jarring the lock or whatever he did- annoying but nothing major, I guess you have a faulty latch?

Him being huffy about the shoe covers would have annoyed me. I don't think I've ever had a work man come in without offering to remove shoes or put a cover on. They usually bring them themselves too. They should be respectful as it's your home.

The toilet situation is not ideal either. Him running upstairs without your consent isn't right, and I would have been annoyed at this.
I would have let any workman use the toilet but inviting themselves upstairs where I was wouldn't sit right with me. There needed to be consent of you agreeing to letting him go upstairs and him using your bathroom. Saying that clearly he did need a massive shit based on what he left for you to clean up. He could have potentially have a bowel issue and literally couldn't hold it.

The toilet paper situation is bit of a non issue too, since he'd already taken a massive dump and ran out of toilet paper, I suppose him grabbing a roll from your wardrobe that was left open isn't unreasonable of him at that point.

To be upset he didn't straighten out the hand towel or the bathroom rug is just silly of you though.

I'd ask for someone else based on what you've said.

The OP did not deny the man the use of her loo. So why are people going on about this and medical conditions?

Do medical conditions stop you from clearing up after yourself? And mean you need to go in someone’s bedroom and have a rifle through their wardrobe?

Exactly this.

Because of OTHER posters attitudes and expectations that people can shit to a timetable.

Thank you. X

lol I’d assume she meant he took the opportunity to have a shit and leave a mess when it arose rather than rustling one up at will.

(Don’t know about others – barring medical conditions – but I have quite a long window where I could go for a poo or equally could hang on – probably like half a day)

For me it’s the total disbelief and disgust at the thought of a stranger having to use their toilet for its intended purpose. It’s just a weird, controlling attitude. And people on this thread have admitted to not allowing someone to use theirs.

He should have cleaned up if there was adequate materials there to do so.

Again. She had no problem with him using the loo. Nothing to do with timetables..

She had an issue with the state he left her bathroom in and the fact he went in to her bedroom…

She didn’t show disbelief and disgust at the ‘thought’ of the stranger using her loo. She showed disbelief and disgust that he left it in a state and went in to her bedroom.

Im not just talking about the op although her whole post reads as if she was distressed from the off.
I’m talking about the attitude of other posters especially those who suggest tradesman should just ‘hold it’ when that’s not always possible and certainly not good for you.
He shouldn’t have left it in a mess if there were adequate cleaning materials nearby.
It’s fine that the op felt unsettled with a stranger in her home, I don’t particularly like it either. But he didn’t violate her by using her toilet ffs.

yes and i did say in a previous post that that was unacceptable and i also told YOU that the timetables comment was not in response to the OP but to OTHER posters who thought he shouldnt have used her toilet at all, How many more times do i have to say this due to your lack of comprehension