Aibu No security at Daughters dance class

[loveyoutothestars]

My 8year old daughter has been attending the same dance class since she was 5. The teacher is lovely, but she is the only adult in the room (she does have a teenage helper). Since the tragic events at a holiday club in summer last year, I have been growing more anxious at the lack of security at the dance class.

The class is held in a local village club, where there are a few small social rooms and a bar. It is very open and people come and go quite easily. The children enter through an unlocked door and exit through the fire exit, although with the warmer weather returning I noticed she has taken to propping the fire exit door open throughout the class which makes me very uneasy.

Parents drop off and pick up for the session, although occasionally I will hang around outside because of my nervousness.

I don’t know how to approach the teacher with my concerns as don’t want to be seen as an overly anxious mother, but events in the news terrify me and it feels like she hasn’t considered how vulnerable the class could be. It is worth mentioning that 5 mins away there is a Psychiatric hospital and we often see patients out and about in the community, although not always appearing well. Although I’m not suggesting this is my only concern, I do worry how open and vulnerable the class appears.

AIBU to raise this concern with the teacher? There isn’t usually time for any interaction between classes so communication is via email.

Appreciate your thoughts on how to approach, but please be kind this is my first post.

Dance classes have been happening in these little halls for generations, mostly without incident. I used to go to ballet in a hall, with so many kids in a room it does get hot so it does make sense to let some air in. They are probably at greater risk of fainting than being attacked. Locking fire exits also puts the girls at risk during a fire.

These type of halls are cheap to hire. If the teacher were to change venues to somewhere with a security system and air conditioning or hire a bouncer she would have to put her prices up and potentially damage her business.

Pretty much this. It was an awful, awful thing, but statistically speaking is a tiny risk.

The sort of thing that happened in Southport just isn't the main danger your daughter faces. Things that will actually have a material effect on her safety are stuff like teaching her good road safety, understanding how important seatbelts are (especially as she gets older and isn't under your control), teaching her about consent and how she has the right to say no etc. Those are all real, concrete things you can do to keep her safe.

But it did happen in real life! I think you mean it’s not common? I bet those parents didn’t think it would happen to them either!

This.

You’re not going to find a security guard who will want to work for 1 hour either.

They're generally locked from the outside but anyone inside needing to escape can push the bar down.

To be honest one security guard may not be much use against someone with a knife or a gun.

I do get the concern after Southport but like many others have said the risk is very low. Which is of no comfort if it happens to you/your loved ones.

I think door security/buzzer systems is more workable than security guards. But would still rely on a second person assisting the dance teacher so they can let in late comers, etc. Even then some nutter could push their way in once the door has been opened for a genuine person.

Ultimately it won't stop a determined person. If someone really wants to do harm and can't get into such a venue they will just go somewhere else , a shop, a post office, a drs surgery, a train station and start attacking people. In Cumbria a guy just wandered round some sleepy villages shooting random people. Look at Hungerford.

YANBU. My son started a dance class held at a community hall in the autumn and the teacher locks the door after all children are inside (there's a fire exit in case of emergencies). I assumed it was introduced after the Southport tragedy and I appreciate it. I like knowing my son and his friends are safe.
You can mention it in a way that you are concerned about potential safety issues, I can't see how anyone would have an issue with that. Don't let anyone think it's your problem or that you are over anxious. Safeguarding is high priority in schools and it should be the same anywhere children do activities.

If I was concerned, I would offer to stay and man the door. Having helped run Brownies and Guides groups for decades, I wish more parents would offer to help when they can see there is (might be) a need.

My daughter goes to dance at two different venues. I wrote to both after the incidents of last year and the door are locked during session now unless parent remain in the waiting area. You are definitely not being unreasonable

I know, and you’re right. I was just making the point that mentally (especially when it’s first child and just getting used to all these activities etc) it can take some getting used to. Nursery and school are all so secure, but activities aren’t. I think it can sometimes feel strange to get your head round that, especially if you’re only used to a secure nursery or school and then suddenly dropping off a v small child at a completely open place

I also think this is interesting, imagine a thread after an incident with an intruder at a kids activity, walking through an open door, op saying “the ballet teacher said they might as well leave all the doors and windows open as if someone wanted to come in and attack us, they’d just smash the windows anyway”

just because something might happen which you’ve got no control over, doesn’t mean you should put no safeguarding in place.

Wildly unreasonable. Any time you are out in public with your child, there’s just as much risk of someone deliberately being out to cause harm: Sainsbury’s, the garden centre, a play park, the swimming pool, a cinema. It is impossible to mitigate the risk of other people’s ill-intent at any given moment.

Totally agree. Schools were not purpose built for the security systems there are in place now. Fences and gates to keep children on site were not universal, even in primary, until quite recently. A LOT of fencing has gone up round our infant, junior and secondary schools over the last 14 years or so.

There must have been 1,000,000 dance classes in the last decade and there was a terrible incident at one of them. I don't think we can change our way of life because of it, however sad it was. If he can get a gun he can get a battering ram like the police use if he wanted to.

Makes me so sad and angry at the state this country has gotten into when parents can’t even leave their children at a dance class without feeling scared 😞

There's no security at any of my children's activities. I've never seen it as an issue. What happened in Sothport was very tragic. It was also a very rare event. I think you are being unreasonable to expect security. It could make people feel more uncomfortable and on edge, could drive up costs making activities unaffordable for some, it doesn't protect against every potential threat and it's very unlikely there would be any incident that required security.

This is one of the safest countries on the planet. People are afraid of their own shadow these days; it doesn’t mean the country has gone downhill or become more dangerous.

If your not happy send her to a studio where you have to be buzzed in

Most dance schools don't have one class a week. Some of the ones I know do 3.30 - 9pm Mon-Fri and all day Saturday.

I hope the dance schools (and other clubs) that lock the doors, have all done fire evacuation drills with their pupils. Otherwise, in an emergency, no one will know where to go and in a smoke filled room, that could spell disaster.

I run a kids after school club and I am also a safeguarding assistant in my other job and I totally think you are right and the children have every right to be as safe as the providers can manage which in this case would be locking the door and not having the fire exits open (which actually as hot as it gets shouldn't be happening anyway) they can bring fans if it gets too hot and have drink breaks. Yes you can't stop everything in the world happening but whilst children are in their care they should be minimising the risks in the room at the very least. I would bring it up. chances are it just hasn't crossed her mind but it is something that all clubs and childcare facilities should be doing as part of a risk assessment anyway!

The thing is that there is no security anywhere. None at soft play, none at school, none at sports clubs, drama groups. It’s dangerous everywhere

How would you deal with children getting tennis lessons in a group?

Genuinely interested because it’s outside. They can go in and out if they want to. Abd people come in and out during the lessons too.

And if that’s an ok situation (there wouldn’t be anyone playing tennis outdoors if it wasn’t), why is it not as soon as the activity is indoors?

Why does it have to be a man? There are female security staff.

Not really. There is statutory regulations for clubs with children with no parents, often linked to the insurance.

This sounds really unsafe and outdated. My daughters go to a dance class in a little village hall and the teacher has sent home all the safeguarding policies and rules on when doors will close/ open etc and if parents stay we have to sign in.

Just because some still do it "like the old days" it doesn't mean it's cute or ok. It's just unsafe, plain and simple.