Not to take husband to work everyday and pick him up

[robinsongs]

I have a 5 month old and two young children in early primary school years and mornings are pretty hectic as it is. Dh works a 10 minute drive away 20 minute walk and expects me to drive him there in the morning as I’m on maternity and pick him up when he finishes but he doesn’t have a finish time so he just texts when he’s finished, which is usually when I’m in the middle of cooking dinner or something and expects me to drop everything.
I put my foot down and said no as it’s disrupting 4 people in the morning as it’s 10 minutes each way and that’s 20 minutes cut off my morning and I have a baby to feed and then to get the others to school.

He isn’t one for taking no for an answer and has pushed and pushed and basically insisted telling the children they will be getting up earlier from now on to take daddy and I feel defeated as I have firmly said no and he’s just not accepting it because he’s decided I will.
AIBU or should I take him to work as I’m home all day and he’s working hard or should he respect my no and not push and push. He’s now asleep thinking he’s getting a lift in and picked up and I am awake feeling quite bitter that no matter how many times I made it clear I wouldn’t be taking him, it seems he’s just decided he’s getting his way and I am.
He can’t drive himself to work as there’s no parking nearby.

DH and I share one car. I’m currently on long term sick leave. He was getting the bus into the office. And I did the school run (we live walking distance). However he’s started getting up later so misses the bus. Like today.

bus goes at 815. He’s just got in the shower. I’m up and dressed and me and the kids will leave at 825 for school.

I need the car today and DH needs to be in the office for 9. He will be late. But he gets a lift in.

You cannot be serious!

@robinsongs it's not selfish to put the comfort of 4 people above the comfort of . If he is not good at hearing no. Now is a good time for him to learn. He is the father of 3 and he has to pull his weight to care for his family. That includes ensuring his wife gets a few extra minutes of sleep when she does theb night wakings.

I dont hear you being selfish only his selfishness

Thats madness - what a waste of money for a car to sit doing nothing for 23.20 hours per day 365 days a year. A bike would cost a fraction, even an electric bike of that and do the job just as well if not better in many cases - as there are always parking issues everywhere

Just keep saying no. 20 min walk is nothing, it's what I do after a 15min drive AND an hour on the train, to get to work.
Lazy bastard.

Aside from anything else ,he is overriding your boundaries. Im sorry ,are you a SAHM or on maternity leave? either way hes being selfish. Does he normally get his own way.I think just dont be ready in time ,DC not ready ,dont get dressed yourself .He needs to learn .And no lifts in the hols either!

Is this real? He can't walk for 20 minutes? (living a 20-minute walk from work is a luxury), he expects everyone to get up even in school holidays so he can be driven there, he asks over and over again, he tells the kids it's happening without you being on board?
Does he behave like this about other things?

Face up to him and ask him why he will not walk (and bollocks to 'wet and cold weather'; unless he's actually the Wicked Witch of the West, he just needs a decent coat and shoes). And ask why he thinks his behaviour about this issue is OK.

It can take 20 minutes just to get kiddies in car seats and coats on etc etc. I’d offer 2 out of the three mornings as a compromise and no more. He’s a grown man he can easily get himself to work

Compromise. Tell him, if he gets the kids ready, and into the car at x o'clock, you will drive him to work.
And the PP's suggestion of a time window in the afternoon. ie between 5 and 5:30 you'll collect him- but otherwise he makes his own way.

Full night's sleep and chauffeured to work? FUCK THAT..

Yes, getting little kids into a car is a piece of piss
And are you serious about being 'active'? You'd happily walk 20 mins, but only if it wasn’t raining and was fairly flat. If there's a hint of a hill you require a car?
I've heard it all now.

That is very selfish of him. I would tell home that you will take him/collect him only if it is bad weather. A 20 min walk is good for him and really not much. Then just grey rock any whining from him - refuse to discuss it, he can’t force you to drive him.

He'd rather disrupt 4 people rather than walking for 20 minutes? Absolutely NOT!
As others have said, he can either walk, or get a bike. If it was chucking it down then I might give him a lift but it wouldn't be the default option.
And he can't make you take him. It's YOU that has to physically pick the car keys up and drive!
Tell him to stop being a lazy, selfish bastard.

He might just have to learn the hard way where you just don't do it even if he is expecting it. It will be hard for a few times but he will get it eventually.
In the morning just carry on with your routine and get the kids to school. I'd remind him once you aren't taking him then leave it there. Ignore him if you have to or just keep repeating no sorry. When he texts to pick you up, be busy and not looking at your phone. Put it in another room if you have to.
Maternity leave isn't a holiday where you are there to cater for your DH whim of not walking to work. Its there for you to look after your baby.

20 minutes walk is nothing, and neither is a bit of rain! Lots of posters saying he should walk but if it's raining you should give him a lift. Why? Can't a grown man carry an umbrella, or get a bit wet? I walk my dog 90 minutes every day, rain or shine, it's no big deal. I honestly can't believe he'd expect this of you OP. As a previous poster said, stick to your boundaries. He can always get a bike if he's that feeble.

Today get on FB Marketplace and send him links to local bikes for sale. He's being ridiculous expecting you all to disrupt yourselves for his lazy ass. I have a bit of a bulldozer myself in my DH, just ignores when I say 'don't plan my day off like I work for you!'. Depending on what he wants to do I may agree but I've found that I have to be really firm with the, "I did say I wasn't going to do that, sorry if you misunderstood my no for a yes". Is he overbearing and likely to turn sulky/angry? Let us know how you got on this morning. We are rooting for you.

A 20 min walk is nothing. He’s taking the piss to insist on being chauffeured to work and back.

What a lazy git! 20 minutes walk is nothing and will do him good. I walk to work, one hour each way abd I do it because it's good for my health. Can't believe he's too lazy to walk and he expects you to drive when you have your hands full.

Would find this level of laziness deeply unattractive tbh.

Exactly. I walk to work and if it rains I put up my hood and take an umbrella.

I don’t think I’d want to be married to anyone who

a) is too lazy to go for a 20 minute walk
b) is so pushy and bullying

It's a mile or 20 mins walk. 5 mins on a bike. i dont get what his objection is apart from being an entitled lazy person

absolutely he should walk
why should he expect everyone to get in the car twice a day for a 10 minute drive when he can do a healthy 20 minute walk?

My question to he OP if all of this was a reverse would he do the same for you? That’s generally how I make my decisions on helping out people even my DH.

I know my DH would go out of his way to help me get to work, I’d be a bit more reluctant as I love my sleep but based on that I’d maybe get up and take him.

Sounds like you know roles revered he wouldn’t so that’s why this feels like a big ask and annoying.

“Are you sure you don’t want to take me to work?"
"Yes."

Also, half an hour on the loo? What is he doing in there? (Apart from shirking his responsibilities, obviously).

He could buy some very fetching waterproofs and wellies to stop him from melting in the rain while walking to work. Alternatively, can everyone buy him gift cards for Halfords or somewhere, to put towards a bike, for his birthday/Father's Day/any other event?

Maternity leave is for looking after your children, not your husband.

OP, if you usually come across as a very calm, patient person, please lose your rag over this one. People take you a bit more seriously when you do!

Where I used to live, a twenty-minute walk to the nearest train station was also a twenty-minute drive due to traffic. My place of work was an hour's drive, or 30 mins on public transport, or about 1h15 walk.
I was used to that, and we went to a countryside wedding once and didn't prebook a taxi as I'd been told it was a 10-minute drive between venue and hotel so assumed we could just walk back. Only to be informed once we got there that that would not be possible