Not to take husband to work everyday and pick him up

[robinsongs]

I have a 5 month old and two young children in early primary school years and mornings are pretty hectic as it is. Dh works a 10 minute drive away 20 minute walk and expects me to drive him there in the morning as I’m on maternity and pick him up when he finishes but he doesn’t have a finish time so he just texts when he’s finished, which is usually when I’m in the middle of cooking dinner or something and expects me to drop everything.
I put my foot down and said no as it’s disrupting 4 people in the morning as it’s 10 minutes each way and that’s 20 minutes cut off my morning and I have a baby to feed and then to get the others to school.

He isn’t one for taking no for an answer and has pushed and pushed and basically insisted telling the children they will be getting up earlier from now on to take daddy and I feel defeated as I have firmly said no and he’s just not accepting it because he’s decided I will.
AIBU or should I take him to work as I’m home all day and he’s working hard or should he respect my no and not push and push. He’s now asleep thinking he’s getting a lift in and picked up and I am awake feeling quite bitter that no matter how many times I made it clear I wouldn’t be taking him, it seems he’s just decided he’s getting his way and I am.
He can’t drive himself to work as there’s no parking nearby.

What a controlling bastard your husband is. He sounds like he's jealous of the time you spend on the kids and wants to consolidate his position as alpha male.

You need to investigate the reasons why when you tell him "no", he fails to understand.

He managed it just fine during the winter (because baby was a newborn) without a second car so I think we can safely assume he’s being lazy.

Thats mental, 20 mins walk is nothing. In fact in a busy household it's a treat, I'm on a year off with my toddler and day dream about a quiet walk sometimes 😂

You're on maternity leave but you're not off, you have more to do than ever with a 5 month old and kids to hustle, does he help with that? His convenience doesnt trump anyone else's, and unlike the primary age children, he can walk to work alone, and unlike the 5 month old, he can feed himself. If it was saving him an hours walk then fair enough but 20 mins!?

A 20 min walk is nothing. It’s bright and sunny most mornings now by 7am.

I don’t think it’s much to scoop the kids up in their Jimmy’s, bung them in the car, run DH to work and carry on once he’s dropped off.
Ppl on the outside never do think 'its too much'

Regarding home time, I’d fix him a 30 min pick up window if he wants a lift, outside of that he’s walking. If he has a laptop he can finish up work when he’s home, or take shorter lunch breaks, or walk.
Did you just make up some make believe fantasy world for op and her husbands work? The woman doesn't want to take him and pick him up every single day she has a baby, kids, and many other bits to do im usre. Do you understand that? He's a grown man! He can walk 20 mins!

I’m sorry but I find this ridiculous. A 20 minute walk is nothing. If it’s raining maybe ok but even then come on. He’s a grown man and disrupts his entire family in the morning for this. Why are his needs prioritised over everyone else? And the way he’s just imposing this as though he is somehow is the important one is just selfish and unkind. No. He doesn’t get to command everyone to do his bidding. YNRB

Of course it is a lot to put 4 people out of their way because 1 person can’t be arsed to walk a 20 minute walk that I damn well expect he would think his children would be capable of. Thousands of school children are currently getting ready to or are leaving to walk distances further than this.

OP I would tell him unless it is torrential rain he walks

What’s wrong with him that he can’t walk for 20 minutes twice a day? If it rains use an umbrella. So lazy.

You just have to put your foot down whatever it takes this is absurd.

He comes across as selfish!! Dragging you all to drop him off and pick him up is ridiculous! STAND YOUR GROUND!!! No means NO!

His health must be pretty atrocious if he can’t manage or doesn’t want to do a 20 min walk.

Tell him to fuck off and get a bus or taxi he is being a dick head

He sounds wet. Before I could drive my DS and I used to walk half an hour to school, then I would walk ten minutes to get a bus to work. And the same in reverse. So he can easily walk 20 minutes or get a bus.

So he wants you to drive while sleep deprived with the entire family in the car? What a lazy arse.

He’s a selfish cunt.

when he asks-are you sure you won’t take me, I would say yes! 100% not taking you. You need to manage your morning accordingly.

you may need to take him this morning but I would be very firm that this was the last time

This is absurd. He sounds so childish. A 20-min walk is nothing, and it’ll do him good. Keep saying no. Keep telling him to get a bike.

He’s close enough to get himself to work , walk , bike etc . Also this lack of compromise is not good . Not sure any partner should be dictating what the other will do . Is he like this with all family decisions

Kids-you’re getting up early to take daddy to work…

actually kids, we are not. Daddy is walking as that is healthy and better for the environment and we are busy getting ready for school

You're not being selfish, he is. He's disrupting 4 people's routines for his own needs. And even worse in the evenings when you're trying to organize the kids and everyone is tired and ratty. Unless he has some kind of disability that means he can't walk or cycle, he's being utterly unreasonable.
Suspect this is not the only place where he undermines you.

20min walk is nothing, he needs to man the fuck up and get himself to work to save dragging all the kids out when you’re trying to get ready for school!

Tell yourself that you don’t need to feel guilty about saying no. Then say no more lifts. Then repeat that it’s no longer feasible and you won’t be doing lifts. If he argues, pesters, or nags you about it, keep repeating that you’re putting the kids first, so he needs to stop asking. Just repeat that and then refuse to discuss it further. Exercise your right to be cross about this. His demand is unreasonable.

I'd do it just like with toddlers. Say no and then answer no or just ignore the question if it gets asked repeatedly. If he keeps asking then tell him the fresh air will do him good. Stick to your decision and remember all the things you are doing that day for your children. You definitely have the harder job not him

Twenty minites walk and he won't walk it, that's nothing the lazy arse. I walk 15 minutes at each end of my train journey to work twice a day, every day.

Also why is everyone going on about rain, umbrellas and coats exist , he's not the wicked witch of tbe west, he won't melt! Honestly no wonder people are so unfit!

There is nothing selfish about what you are doing. He is nagging you into submission, which sounds bordering on abusive to just keep wearing someone down

Oh yes, she's the unreasonable one, not the grown ass man who refuses to walk 20 mins? I have a 45 mins walk twice a day, no matter what the weather, after a train ride, it helps me mentally prepare for and wind down from work and it's good for me physically.
I would laugh at anyone nagging me for a lift for what is essentially a short stroll, even without adding three small children into the equation.
Oh, and my DC walked that distance and longer to school from the age of three. He is utterly ridiculous.