Not to take husband to work everyday and pick him up

[robinsongs]

I have a 5 month old and two young children in early primary school years and mornings are pretty hectic as it is. Dh works a 10 minute drive away 20 minute walk and expects me to drive him there in the morning as I’m on maternity and pick him up when he finishes but he doesn’t have a finish time so he just texts when he’s finished, which is usually when I’m in the middle of cooking dinner or something and expects me to drop everything.
I put my foot down and said no as it’s disrupting 4 people in the morning as it’s 10 minutes each way and that’s 20 minutes cut off my morning and I have a baby to feed and then to get the others to school.

He isn’t one for taking no for an answer and has pushed and pushed and basically insisted telling the children they will be getting up earlier from now on to take daddy and I feel defeated as I have firmly said no and he’s just not accepting it because he’s decided I will.
AIBU or should I take him to work as I’m home all day and he’s working hard or should he respect my no and not push and push. He’s now asleep thinking he’s getting a lift in and picked up and I am awake feeling quite bitter that no matter how many times I made it clear I wouldn’t be taking him, it seems he’s just decided he’s getting his way and I am.
He can’t drive himself to work as there’s no parking nearby.

I can't believe people think this is a reasonable request of the dh. Unless he is disabled a 20min walk to work is nothing. I cannot imagine a grown able-bodied adult insisting on a lift when 3 young children are involved and the drive takes 10mins.
I would absolutely tell him to walk(scoot/cycle) unless it is snowing/stormy/heavily raining. YANBU

What other boundaries does he push and break?

He sounds absolutely pathetic and selfish.
20min walk is nothing for an able bodied person. I walk 45min each way to work or cycle it for 15mins if I'm in a rush.
Disrupting the whole family for a such a short walk is incredibly selfish.

A 20min walk to work is my dream! I have to go a lot further and it's a nuisance.

I think he's being selfish to be honest, it's easy enough for him to sort himself out, a 20min walk is nothing!

As other posters have suggested, you could take him if it's icy cold or raining, but otherwise he sorts himself. He's acting like a spoilt baby.

Couldn't agree more. Tell him to grow up, lazy bastard.

Ooh, you've got me there… oh no, hang on, one could perhaps wear appropriate clothing for the weather, and take an umbrella if it's raining?

'active' to me and to a lot of people suggests not requiring a car to walk 20 minutes on <<God forbid>> not completely flat ground.

OP, he should not be asking for a lift

I think he's a lazy twat and should walk to and from work most of the time. DH and I do give one another lifts home from the station (20 minute walk) when it's pouring down and the other is at home, but it's not expected and we have umbrellas and waterproofs.

I would do this

Just don’t get up.

@robinsongs So what happened this morning OP? Did you cave and take him? If so, please read this pp - it's spot on:

Barbarella73 · Today 05:44
OP, part of having boundaries is maintaining them when people try to overstep them. If you give in to him ‘going on about it’ then he knows it’s not a firm boundary and he will keep pushing. It is normal and usual for people to do this with boundaries. Enforce your boundary by saying ‘No, we’ve already discussed this and I’m not driving you to work or collecting you’. Otherwise he knows that you will give in if he goes on about it enough. I used to say to my ex ‘already asked and answered’ when he did stuff like this.

So, as @Barbarella73 advises, every time he nags, you play your broken record "already asked and answered". Every. Single. Time.

it must take 10-15 mins to get 3 kids out the door get their coats on and seat belts (if they comply) ???
MADNESS for the sake of a short walk, maybe just offer a lift home if you are not up to your eyeballs in it and the weather is bad🤷‍♀️

Poke him in the tummy and say, you need the exercise by walking to work.

I agree.
Nothing mean about walking in all weathers.

Just don’t go. Let him get ready and just say you remembered I am not taking or picking up

So twice a day he wants to use up 20 minutes (minimum, not counting extra kiddy wrangling) of your time, and your three childrens', to save himself 10. This suggests he considers his time - so presumably , himself - EIGHT times more important than anyone else in the family - that is, twice as important as the rest of you put together.

What a misogynistic prick.

Oh believe me there are many lazy idle people out there who wouldn’t even walk round the corner.
My SIL had to ask her Mum for a lift to work once as her car in the garage. Her work was a 10 minute walk away.
Like a fool - my MIl took her…….

Op - my DD has just left home for sixth form - it’s a 15 cycle away. She died this every day rain or shine

What a lazy ass. A 20 minute walk twice a day is good for his health and it doesn't disrupt a couple hours of your day or have you getting up earlier than you need with sleep deprivation from night feedings.

Tell him no. Don't change your answer, intermittent reinforcement makes him big you all the more about it.

My DP would be mortified demanding this of me with 3 young children, I doubt he’d even ask without any kids - maybe politely ask if I was up anyway and the weather was horrible. We’re no perfect couple but this situation sounds totally unbalanced OP. Do you get to demand anything of him and not take no for an answer? Sounds like he thinks he controls the household and you. Very selfish.

You need to knock that on the head. What kind of lazy arse can’t walk the 20 minutes to work. Blimey I have to walk 20 minutes to just my bus stop if I’m met with the need to get a bus to work.

So it's not that you are dropping him off on the way to school, making one slightly longer trip? It's a completely separate trip BEFORE school? No way, no way, no way, that is just lunacy.

So @robinsongs

how did it go this morning ?

I do more than a 20 minute walk each way to work. It's fine and there aren't many days at all when I've been rained on. No, I don't live anywhere sunny, unfortunately.

I really don't like how he doesn't take no for an answer. Does he generally see you as his servant?

So... He can walk for 20 minutes and be done with that, or ride in a car for 10 minutes, which means the OP has to spend 20 minutes in car (and that is the ideal case, not counting getting children in and out).

How is it saving time?

I would understand taking him exceptionally, if there is heavy rain or something, but he needs to take care of majority of his transport.
Bike sounds like a good option

I find it unbelievable the s* some women on here have to put up with. I'm sorry OP.