She ordered a Curry and hasn’t paid me

[OnePeachA]

Friend came to my house

I was going to cook but she asked if I fancied a curry. I said that would be really nice actually

Her JustEat app wasn’t working so I said have a look on mine for places that are open. She picked Indian.

I put everything I wanted in and she added hers. Total came to £52ish. Over 65% of that cost was hers.

I said I could just check out and sort it later. I have messaged to ask if she had the money today as a gentle reminder, and she said she thought it was my treat?

I said oh, we must have got crossed wires then. She said ‘I did cover the shop’

She went to the corner shop for wine and snacks. I got a Grape Fanta!

Where do I go from here? Leave it? Was it reasonable for her to assume it was in fact my treat?

My in-laws always serve chapattis! And some other things I forget the names of which MIL makes with radishes in the middle. I forget because she doesn't use the English name.

Yorkshire pudding? This sounds controversial, is it nice? I've never had Yorkshire pudding but before everyone comes for me - (for the third time) I'M NOT IN THE UK.

But do you understand that people can (and do) take the left overs home to eat either later or the next day? I’ve never finished a takeway or restaurant curry in my life in one go so I always have the rest later.

They will be people who deny it, but it's true, people get these Giant Yorkshire puddings from Morrisons and fill it with chicken tikka masala, behind closed doors.

I'm all about chapattis myself. I have no idea what these raddish things are you talk about. Which country are you in?

Sweet suffering Jesus

I read quite a bit of this earlier and was invested in hearing if the OP got her dosh back.

While I appreciate she hasn't returned yet I have to say this is the fucking weirdest turn of a thread I've seen in many a year.

It's about reimbursement for a meal from a cheeky fucker and all this shite about carbs rice and fucking triple nans is so fucking tedious.

Who gives a fiddlers fark if it was 10 nans and a bucket of vindaloo🤣

Op please update😁

Yes of course - I do that too. Sometimes we get a side order of daal or some other veggie dish and we have loads of food to take home.

In the OP's scenario though the friend ordered an additional naan without even mentioning it. I doubt she was planning on taking it home. That seems such a strange thing to me to do; like someone offering to buy you a drink and you order a bottle of wine (exaggerating for illustration purposes). Or ordering two main courses.

And regardless of what people think here, I DON'T care what individual people eat. I do think it's frightening though how society is normalising eating way too much food for our bodies to process. What's normal today was not normal 20, 30 years ago but our bodies function in the same ways.

People are accusing me of gaslighting but I think the gaslighting is going the other way; "a 'bit of curry and some rice' is NOT a large meal". Well it is. It doesn't mean it's shameful or a crime or the person is a greedy pig or whatever. But it is a big meal.

That actually sounds nice. I’m going to put a giant Yorkshire pud in my online Tesco basket right now 😁 (if they do them). It will last two meals (I can’t actually eat a lot in one go)

Not a Giant Yorkshire pudding? We’ve lost sight of what a normal portion of yorkies is.

@OnePeachA come back and update for the love of God.

The tikka masala goes INSIDE the Yorkshire pudding?! Like a pie?

I will ask DH what the radish things were but they were utterly delicious. I had to get involved in making them, there were three of us in a conveyor belt line, one person rolled it into a ball, the next person dipped it in gram flour or something then fried and flipped. It tasted like it was wholewheat. This scene is burned into my head because I was covering up early days pregnancy and kept worrying I was going to faint right there on the kitchen floor.

This was actually in the UK but we were visiting.

I was brought up in the 60s/70s so am very much of that only eat three meals a day and no snacking in between generation but I’m not aghast at people eating rice and naan at the same time (which you were, no matter what you say). Yes three naan is a lot (I can’t even eat one in one go) but your ongoing posts were much more general than the specific three naans.

I didn't think it was the norm, that hasn't been my experience at all. I've eaten in Indian restaurants for decades, with my now DH, with my own family, with my own friends, with his friends. Everyone orders one or the other and then they share. We aren't teeny tiny eaters, competitive under eaters or teeny people, nor do I claim to be and it's bizarre to me that's what people here assume.

No one assumes you are teeny tiny but your attitude to anyone daring to eat more than you is what posters have an issue with. If you said ‘blimey I couldn’t eat all that” no one would have an issue. But you kept on and on stating no one NEEDS to have rice AND naan and anyone who does is not normal but a greedy fat fucker who is going to die, we’ve lost sight of what a healthy portion is, no wonder there is an obesity epidemic, blah blah blah…

This whole thread has been hijacked by talk of 3 bloody naans 😆

No one cares what your opinion on naan and rice is, give it a bloody rest!

Go and do some admin for your ”successful” eating shaming group.

Just to go back to the three naans for a sec, I think that they were peshwari naans is of note, because three plain naans would be boring. The whole meal sounds quite boring actually (and fuck all for £52). Where are the popadoms and chutneys? The fresh onion salad? The saag aloo and/or Bombay potatoes? Hell, you can have both if you want, just where is the rest of the meal?!

And aha! Perhaps the butter chicken was a balti which would explain the odd number of naans because balti comes with naan and not rice!

Next time go to hers and she'll get the takeaway. Can never understand why the English count every penny in friendships and even amongst family. Things balance out over time and if they don't, at that point you can deal with it. One time you paid when you were the host. Wouldn't be a big deal for me at all.

I called nobody greedy or fat or a fucker. I would never ever talk about anyone like that or even think that.

I said I thought the portions (ordered by someone not even ON this thread) were outrageous and people got up in arms about it. I also said they were irrelevant to the OP's issue.

People called me lots of names. I can't say I loved it but you're entitled to your opinions.

This thread is a perfect illustration of my point; society norms when it comes to food portions are a major contributor to the obesity endemic. Most people (obvs there will be exceptions) will have to behave in an abnormal way to achieve or maintain a healthy weight.

That's an observation of mine on society today, not an attack on any particular person. People are choosing to interpret this as personal insults. I don't know why. For all I know every single poster here is slimmer than me. That was not my point. My point was, portion sizes are out of control.

You’ve been awful, own it! So judgemental about how people should eat, according to YOUR RULES (in upper case, because you seem to need to do this to others)

You’ve shamed people endlessly!

You’ve gone on and on about what is right to eat, no one gives a damn about your opinion. It’s not what the OP even fucking asked!

.

I would bet good money on the CF not in fact returning the favour.

Ironically, Nigella looks like she would definitely have both rice and naan bread, and maybe a cheeky poppadom as well. And enjoy every mouthful.

I meet up with a couple of friends every so often and we take it turns to buy lunch. We don’t compare bills but stick to the normal mid range eateries you get in town. I don’t get the impression OP and her CF friend have the same reciprocal agreement.

Absolutely

You are very angry with a random poster who has a viewpoint that is making you feel ashamed for some reason.

You should own that.

How dare you call my weightloss group a shaming group? You have no idea what you're talking about; NONE. The reason I described it as successful is because I see people actually get the results they wanted because they engage with it (mainly taking the blinkers off and ignoring attitudes like yours) which is bloody hard work with challenges on every corner including ridiculous portion sizes becoming the norm.

I'm not judging people who eat curry with Yorkshires, but I do judge people who eat shop bought Yorkshires.

And wash the lot down with a VERY large wine with no fucks given - and probably have a dessert as well

Mmm, dessert...